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<p>What do cannibals and politicians have in common? They both enjoy handshakes.
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<p><b>You know the times have changed... When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold.
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<p>How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
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<p><b>I could have sworn I saw spearmint flavored fig newtons at the shop the other day. But it turns out they were just a fig-mint of my imagination.
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<p>People drinking wine in nice restaurants at 2:30 pm - Who are you and how do you get the time and money? Teach me.
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