三个一：“吃”的恶趣味 | 月旦评 by julian2013

cn · @julian2013 · Jun 21 '18 (edited)

$1.20

三个一：“吃”的恶趣味 | 月旦评

![image](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmSW9kvrPeMjxExfz3uA7ig6EGEYr79RaQs6oJCTCnZC5k)

***

   **城外土馒头**

    唐  王梵志
   城外土馒头，馅草在城里。
   一人吃一个，莫嫌没滋味。

***

中国人喜欢吃。

好吃的，毫不犹豫地吃；
不好吃的，想想怎么做才好吃；
不能吃的，就研究如何处理才能吃。

瑞典有个童话《钉子汤》，我想应该是国人还没有版权意识不去追究而已，否则瑞典支付的知识产权使用费大概已经可以让全国每人大吃3斤小龙虾了。

**从古代开始，中国人对“吃”的追求就已经到了丧心病狂的地步。**

- 像河南人比干被挖了心脏，并不是他触怒了纣王，仅仅是商纣王吃鸡心烤串吃腻了，想换个口味而已；

- 易牙深爱着齐桓王，为了双宿双飞，不惜把自己的儿子大卸八块烧给王吃；

- 重耳吃了介子的大腿肉以后念念不忘，又不好意思直说，于是在发达了以后，就把介子赶到山上，然后放火烧山，这样就可以吃烧烤了。

后来，国人又发明了很多新食物：
- 童子尿煮鸡蛋。这已在2008年入选东阳市非物质文化遗产。制作方法也很简单，就是把新鲜的男童尿和将洗干净的鸡蛋放入大锅中，用不同的火整整煮上一天一夜而成。
- 松花蛋。有外国人吃了中国的皮蛋后，向全世界写文章，说中国的“蛋”是世界上最让人作呕的最难吃的蛋，称之为“撒旦（~~魔鬼蛋~~）”
- 臭豆腐。正常的臭豆腐是放在储藏室等它自然长毛，性急的国人嫌慢，发明了“粪水臭豆腐”，因为过程过于惨烈，我就不详细说明了。


除此之外，还可以吃**醋**，吃**老本**，靠山吃**山**靠水吃**水**，吃**大户**，吃**人**。甚至于我经常看到 @softmetal叫别人去吃**屎**，简直匪夷所思。
![image](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmQC8CfZf9HXyBLipNQ78sNRG86zU9ScTwBWx42PY3dUJh)
（图源： [c.hiphotos.baidu.com](http://c.hiphotos.baidu.com/image/pic/item/0823dd54564e92588308f4819782d158ccbf4ea4.jpg)）


**不过这些还算好的，至少有实际的东西可以吃。**

勤劳勇敢聪明善良的中国人还发明了很多没有实物的食物，比如：
吃**惊**，吃**苦**，吃**紧**，吃**亏**，吃**瘪**，吃**透**，吃**利息**，吃**差价**，吃**不消**，吃**耳光**……
还有吃**里扒外**的。我只吃过鸡扒，猪扒，至今都不知道**里扒外**是啥，很想尝尝。

**这些也算过得去，至少吃相还正常。**

吃相难看的有：
咬**字眼**，啃**骨头**，啃**老**，最夸张的是啃**书本**！
这书在十几年前还勉强吃得下，顶多噎着。现在都是电子书了，再啃下去不但牙口要好，还得肠胃好，不然铅中毒可咋办！！！

## 对于众多的食物，每个人的选择也不一样。

不要以为只要不在大庭广众之下吃东西，别人就无从知晓你吃了什么。这个和区块链追踪一样，只要有人想知道，你总会被剥得全身赤裸。

而一个人喜欢吃快餐，还是喜欢吃满汉全席，这个，很难装。

就像村妇刘姥姥进了大观园，既不会吟诗作赋，也不曾锦衣玉食，那只有瞠目结舌的份，撂一句
> “你老人家拔根汗毛就比我们的腰粗”

完事。

很多人喜欢说：“我思故我在”
有些人认为：
> 好流弊啊！我思考我才存在，不思考和咸鱼有什么分别！真TMD是哲学经典！！！

也有些人知道，
> 除了经验学派的解释，还要同时考虑作者笛卡尔的“天赋论”学说；还知道康德，海德格尔，胡塞尔和德里达等人对这句话的各自解读。


吃快餐的，很难和吃满汉全席的一起讨论。不在一个维度上，就像一颗子弹和原子弹讨论怎样打得准的问题，而原子弹完全不认为“准”有啥意义。

我觉得，人啊，这辈子最好还是去吃一次满汉全席，不为别的，就为了体验一下，开开眼，拓展一下眼界。
> 满汉全席上菜一般一百零八种， 菜式有咸有甜，有荤有素，用料精细，突出满族菜点特殊风味，烧烤、火锅、涮锅几乎不可缺少的菜点，同时又展示了汉族烹调的特色，扒、炸、炒、熘、烧等兼备，实乃中华菜系文化的瑰宝和最高境界。

你看你看，你整天在家吃泡面，不去尝尝不同的烹调手段整出来的食物的味道，就会真的以为康师傅是全天下的至尊珍馐呢。

当然了，满汉全席未必所有人都爱吃，但你自己必须至少是会做家常菜的，否则，也只能永远吃快餐。

**到底是“to be No.1”，还是“土逼No.1”，得好好想想。**

***
感谢  @tvb举办的[“三个一”【一诗 一画 一心声】活动第 27开始啦](https://busy.org/@tvb/cn-31-27),大家最好都别参加啊！！！最好就我一人，哈哈

***

敬请关注 @aellly瓜叔广告，瓜叔广告，让你被大鲸点到怀孕！！！

👍 treeplanter, lemooljiang, stabilowl, arcange, lebin, minnowsupport, fishlucy, kingwriting, justyy, ericet, robin.han, cnbuddy, snoopycode, cn-naughty.boy, cn-cutie.pie, raphaelle, aellly, xiguang, team-cn, dailystats, stepbie, sweet-jenny8, dailychina, superbing, ethanlee, kingak47, melaniewang, cpipi, mfxqaq, daifeidaiyang, haidaming, xiaoshancun, turtlegraphics, zy-sb, yingyu, wuli, huaxue, shengwu, yuwen, shuxue, zhuanzhibufu, zhuxi, zongli, dongfengman, abcallen, doraemon, lulucy, xiaoyuanwmm, lilypang22, hansheng, kidsreturn, anxin, xiaowucw, shuxuan, eondas, happyukgo, dealmoon, moonbbs, chilis, bonefish, olive-garden, new-voices, yamibuy, nozuonodie, and 19 others

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@cn-naughty.boy · Jun 19 '18

@julian2013, 月旦评我只抢沙发！

👍 steemitstats, cn-cutie.pie

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

沙发给你，小可可给我，可好？

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@cn-cutie.pie · Jun 19 '18

@julian2013, 感谢你的参与, 月旦评活动因你而更精彩! ![img](https://i.imgur.com/XFVXuJZ.png)

👍 steemitstats, cn-naughty.boy

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

@cn-cutie.pie，感谢你的参与，我的生命因你而更精彩~

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

 @lebin大老爷，等哪天我能得到您100%的赞了，那就死而无憾了啊~~~

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@cnbuddy · Jun 19 '18

你那里天气如何？请支持中文区的见证人， @abit @bobdos @ety001 @justyy @skenan （首字母顺序），全投，一个都不要漏。假如我的留言打扰到你，请回复“取消”。

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

你知道像我这样的穷人，没有sp，投票是没有用的吗？

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@hansheng · Jun 19 '18

帅气

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

哪里哪里，世界第三~~

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@minnowsupport · Jun 19 '18

<p>Congratulations!  This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by julian2013 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows.  Please find us at the <a href="https://discord.gg/HYj4yvw"> Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel</a>.  It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.</p> <p>If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=102530.639667%20VESTS">50SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=205303.639667%20VESTS">100SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=514303.639667%20VESTS">250SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=1025303.639667%20VESTS">500SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=2053030.639667%20VESTS">1000SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=10253030.639667%20VESTS">5000SP</a>. <br><strong>Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.</strong></p>

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@kingwriting · Jun 19 '18

男人都像你这么有才就好了，哈哈，我也好选择

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

有才没才，选我就够啦，不伤脑筋~~

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@kingwriting · Jun 19 '18

还得在想想

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1 reply

@ericet · Jun 19 '18 (edited)

我是收了小机机的红包特意过来留言点赞的！

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

我是迫于村长淫威才发红包的！
人在屋檐下不得不低头啊！
啊！！
啊！！！

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

啊啊啊啊！！！！！

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@kidsreturn · Jun 19 '18

我的账号 @kidsreturn
嘻嘻嘻

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

╭( ′• o •′ )╭☞警察叔叔！就是这个人！她索贿！！！

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@kidsreturn · Jun 19 '18

收钱办事，现在给大家表演报菜名:
>蒸羊羔儿、蒸熊掌、蒸鹿尾儿、烧花鸭、烧雏鸡、烧子鹅、炉猪、炉鸭、酱鸡、腊肉、松花、小肚儿、酱肉、香肠、什锦酥盘儿、熏鸡白脸儿、清蒸八宝猪、江米酿鸭子、罐儿野鸡、罐儿鹌鹑、卤什件儿、卤子鹅、山鸡、兔脯、莱蟒、银鱼、清蒸哈什蚂、烩鸭腰儿、烩鸭条儿、清拌腰丝儿、黄心管儿、炯白鳝、炯黄鳝、豆鼓鲍鱼、锅烧鲤鱼、烀烂甲鱼、抓炒鲤鱼、抓炒对虾、软炸里脊、软炸鸡、什锦套肠儿、卤煮寒鸦儿，、麻辣油卷儿、熘鲜蘑、熘鱼脯、熘鱼肚儿、熘鱼片儿、醋熘肉片儿、熘三鲜儿、熘鸽子蛋、熘白蘑、熘什件儿、炒银丝儿、熘刀鱼、清蒸火腿、炒白虾、炝青蛤、炒面鱼、炝竹笋、芙蓉燕菜、炒虾仁儿、熘腰花儿、烩海参、炒蹄筋儿、锅烧海参、锅烧白菜、碟木耳、炒肝尖儿、桂花翅子、炸飞禽、炸汁儿、炸排骨、清蒸江珧柱、糖熘芡仁米、拌鸡丝、拌肚丝、什锦豆腐、什锦丁儿、糟鸭、糖熘鱼片、熘蟹肉、炒蟹肉、烩蟹内、清拌蟹肉、蒸南瓜、酿倭瓜、炒丝瓜、酿冬瓜、熘鸭掌儿、焖鸭掌儿、焖笋、炝茭白、茄子晒驴肉、鸭羹、餐肉羹、鸡血汤、三鲜木须肉。红丸子、白丸子、南煎九子、四喜丸子、三鲜丸子、金丸子、鲜虾丸子、鱼铺丸子、饸饹丸子、豆腐丸子、樱桃肉、马牙肉、米粉肉、一品肉、栗子肉，坛子肉、红焖肉、黄焖肉、酱豆腐肉、晒驴肉、炖肉、黏糊肉、烀肉、扣肉、松肉、罐儿肉、烧肉、大肉、烤肉、白肉、红肘子、白肘子、熏叶子、水晶叶子、蜜腊肘子、锅烧肘子、扒肘条、炖羊肉、酱羊肉。烧羊肉、烤羊肉、清蒸羊肉，五香羊肉、氽三样儿、爆三样儿、烩银丝儿、烩白杂碎、炸绣球、三鲜鱼翅、栗子鸡、氽鲤鱼、酱汁鲫鱼、活钻鲤鱼、板鸭、筒子鸡、烩脐肚、爆肚仁、盐水肘花儿、锅烧猪蹄儿、烧肝尖儿。烧肥肠、烧心、烧肺、烧紫菜儿、烧莲蒂、烧空盖儿、油炸肺、酱瓜丝儿、山鸡下儿、拌海蜇、龙须菜、炝冬笋、玉兰片、烧鸳鸯、烧鱼头、烧摈子、烧百合、炸豆腐、炸面筋、糖熘饹，炸儿、拔丝山药、糖焖莲子。酿山药、杏仁酪、小炒螃蟹、氽大甲、什锦葛仙米、蛤蟆鱼、扒带鱼、海鲫鱼、黄花鱼、扒海参、扒燕窝、扒鸡腿儿、扒鸡块儿、扒肉、扒面筋、扒三样儿、油泼肉、酱泼肉、炒虾黄儿、熘蟹黄儿、炒子蟹、炸子蟹、佛手海参、炒芡子米、奶汤、翅子汤、三丝汤、熏斑鸠、卤斑鸠、海白米、烩腰丁儿、火烧茨菰、炸鹿尾儿、焖鱼头、拌皮渣儿、氽肥肠儿、清拌粉皮儿、木须菜、烹丁香、烹大肉、烹白肉、麻辣野鸡、咸肉丝儿、白肉丝儿、荸荠、一品锅、素炝春不老、清焖莲子、酸黄菜、烧萝卜、烩银耳、炒银枝儿、八宝榛子酱、黄鱼锅子、白菜锅子、什锦锅子、汤圆子锅、菊花锅子、煮饽饽锅子、肉丁辣酱、炒肉丝儿、炒肉片、烩酸菜、烩白菜、烩豌豆、焖扁豆、氽毛豆，外加腌苤蓝丝儿。

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

现在给大家表演报方便面品牌：
>统一100、出前一丁、小当家、南德、北京、魔法士、康师傅、今麦郎、天方、五谷道场、三鲜伊面、东三福、小浣熊、福满多、宏发、华丰、白象

欢迎补充

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4 replies

@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18 (edited)

 @lemooljiang前辈您默默地走了，是说这个帖子和月旦评木有缘分吗？

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@daifeidaiyang · Jun 19 '18

世界非物质文化遗产，你创造一个吃法，将来你儿子可以申遗，哈哈

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

真是个好主意！成功以后我儿子就是混文化圈的人啦！

 ~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦

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@melaniewang · Jun 19 '18

重口味

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

软哥 @softmetal口味最重了，你要尽快适应

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@stabilowl · Jun 19 '18

的确是丧心病狂，像曹操看杨修跟他吃不到一块去，就把人家杀了，多小气

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

啊！原来如此！怪不得杨修只吃得到鸡肋

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@stabilowl · Jun 19 '18

人家曹操超喜欢吃鸡肋，杨修却说吃之无味，不是欠揍吗？

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3 replies

@snoopycode · Jun 19 '18

这样好吗？以后还怎么吃丑豆腐🤦‍♂️

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

改吃童子尿煮鸡蛋吧，壮阳

ꉂ ೭(˵¯̴͒ꇴ¯̴͒˵)౨”哇哈哈～

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@kadishakho · Jun 19 '18

我要煮新的菜肴时会找大厨讨论的！

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

哈哈，有没有做过鱼子酱方便面？

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@kadishakho · Jun 19 '18

哈！谢谢！你给了我新的点子了。做成之后在告诉你。

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@lulucy · Jun 19 '18

写得很好，

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

谢谢小鹿表扬啊！我有点骄傲了！我是不是今后要前半篇笑，后半篇搞😂

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@lulucy · Jun 19 '18

我不擅长鬼扯，哈哈，支持你，开心就好

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1 reply

@aellly · Jun 19 '18

牛啊

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

瓜叔来了啊！您才牛，您犇！！！

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@robin.han · Jun 19 '18

吃的果然够“恶趣味”！

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

你最喜欢上面的哪样？

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@abcallen · Jun 19 '18

你的帖子有毒啊小鸡鸡~

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@julian2013 · Jun 19 '18

吃点童子尿鸡蛋，你就有性趣了

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@abcallen · Jun 19 '18

不喽，现在挺好的小机机！

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7 replies

@arcange · Jun 20 '18

Congratulations @julian2013!
Your post was mentioned in the [Steemit Hit Parade for newcomers](https://steemit.com/hit-parade/@arcange/daily-hit-parade-for-newcomers-20180619) in the following category:

* Comments - Ranked 2 with 49 comments

I also upvoted your post to increase its reward
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@zy-sb · Jun 21 '18

应作者要求，不点赞，只回复。
考考考，老师的法宝，
吃吃吃，国人的命根。
食色，性也，食在前
命还是第一位的，
命不在了拿什么折腾呢？
不吃就会没命，所以吃是第一位。
波哥，这一期三个一，我想拿第一，你觉得有没希望？

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@julian2013 · Jun 21 '18

照这个趋势，你肯定第一，没得说

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@treeplanter · Jun 21 '18

Thanks for your donation

<center><h3>You just planted 0.16 tree(s)!</h3>
Thanks to @julian2013 
<h3>We have planted already 3510.99 trees
 out of 1,000,000<h3>
Let's save and restore Abongphen Highland Forest
in Cameroonian village Kedjom-Keku!
Plant trees with @treeplanter and get paid for it!
My Steem Power = 21992.94
Thanks a lot!
 @martin.mikes coordinator of @kedjom-keku
![treeplantermessage_ok.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdeFhTevmcmLvubxMMDoYBoNSaz4ftt7PxktmLDmF2WGg/treeplantermessage_ok.png)</center>

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