Its now 2 months since is took that last step taking an overdose, its been a long 2 months but thankfully i am still here and haven't tried again.  I am hopefully on the right track now with what happened heading forward with a plan in place and fingers crossed a better me at the end of it.

<center>![getting better.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSMXLNzyEYQuzsXtD7jnBAim3QasAkPpbK9ANg9U5uJuU/getting%20better.jpg)</center>

Its still a daily struggle trying to keep on the right track, once my therapy starts and I get more into it that should start happening naturally, *just wish they could wipe the bad memories from our mind for good.* I have already been taught Tapping where you tap the parts of our body whilst asking yourself questions, this helps when in a stressful situation. With therapy there are a few things i can do, firstly starting with *self esteem* and  *self soothing.*   

I am back at the Therapists on Thursday evening at 7pm, i have met the lady who will be looking after me, she's really nice and understands what i have been though. At our session last week she has made me think slightly different over 1 thing, as a child i had no place i could call my safe place with being abused at home then bullied at school, i still carry that which now where i live is my safe place, no one can get to me here. I have my place where i can relax and try to think more positive.

**OTHER NEWS.**

I am still on my eating plan with 3 fasts and 4 NFD's *(Normal Food Days)* where i eat what i want as long as i count the calories and don't go over my daily allowance. I still chose not to eat Carbohydrates and Sugar. I have to think about what i will be eating and make a plan for the week so i don't buy other ingredients or naughty treats where i could get tempted. 

I have to wait another 3 weeks before i get on the scales, I used to weigh weekly then on weeks i hadn't lost it would upset me so by going monthly there is a big chance of a loss.  I have hubby's support as he is sort of sticking to the same plan when he is home but when it comes to work he needs a something a bit more filling with working on a building site, he is cutting down a lot plus is half way through completing Dry January. He usually likes a beer or 2 with a Whisky before bed, its great he can just give it up without it being to hard. I have also gone Alcohol free for this year, I haven't had a drop since New Year, on the right track with that.

I am hoping to lose a few stone before the Summer starts,  once Summer is here i should be well on my way through Therapy if not finished, hopefully i will see a brand new Karen, slimmer with a clearer more settled mind. Will make a pleasant change as my head never stops, there's always something going on.

This morning when hubby got up I was ERMMM talking in my sleep, I have a body pillow that i seep with, I asked him if the leg of the body pillow was his leg then when the alarm clock buzzed i said **All men are stupid.** oops  He thought it was hilarious.  See i even have problems in my dreams.

https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmWRKbsUvvBwevVP9iKVZpze8sAmySjMWGuLdj6EVi7Cte/%40karenb54.gif
Thank you @son-of-satire