Why listening is all that matters by lifeisawesome

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life · @lifeisawesome · (edited)
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Why listening is all that matters
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<p>If you're a regular reader you may know by now that I had a useless Dad, and a crappy childhood which then caused make to make a load of bad choices and take a ton of substances.</p>
<p>My life was bad.</p>
<p>But I changed it around. I kicked that bad fucker into orbit and started to finally feel good about myself. It took years. Years and years.</p>
<p>Years. Literally.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.pbrd.co/images/1uy9Pxdtq.jpg" width="960" height="720"/></p>
<p>But what was the defining moment for me? How did it all change? What was the point that I said, yep, this is it. I need to change.</p>
<p>Well, I always say there was one point, when I was in bed, crying, hugging my pillows that my life was so bad, and that my alcoholism must stop. I could see the problem it was causing. It needed to stop. I couldn't keep falling this way - my life was ruled by the damn thing.</p>
<p>But credit where credit was due I'd probably have picked up another bottle and downed it if I hadn't had spoken to these two people.</p>
<p>My employment adviser arranged for me to meet with a woman from a mental health charity. She thought in herself that I would be able to help them and she would be able to help me.</p>
<p>And boy had she got that one right.</p>
<p>The women I met was in her 40's. She sat down with me the day we met and we talked. We just talked for at least an hour, and we went out and smoked together.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.pbrd.co/images/1uylj6h9A.jpg" width="1024" height="683"/></p>
<p>And more importantly she listened. She sat there and listened to everything I said. She didn't falter, let me have every moment of the conversation and let me own it. And when required she added her two cents.</p>
<p>And even more prevalent, she understood me.</p>
<p>Like no-one I had ever met before even knew where I was going or what I wanted,</p>
<p>"dude, you're strange" I'd often get</p>
<p>But no, she knew. She knew that I just wanted a happy family, a stable job and a house.</p>
<p>That's all that I ever wanted.</p>
<p>She could totally relate. It was the most amazing conversation I had in my life to date. It made all the other conversations seem childish in relation.</p>
<p>For the first time in my entire life I felt that someone properly understood me. And I wasn't going to let that slip away.</p>
<p>And that's how I quit and changed my life. Those two events.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.pbrd.co/images/eVyVBYHCY.jpg" width="960" height="640"/></p>
<p>And why I absolutely say in a relationship of any kind listening to what the other person is telling you is the utmost important thing ever. Because then, they feel like they can relate.</p>
<p>Relating to someone is such a powerful emotion. It builds a bridge of connectivity, forms a bond, creates a friendship.</p>
<p>It's awesome.</p>
<p>Some people don't speak what they actually mean to say, but when I became more experienced at listening to people, the more I learned to read between the lines.</p>
<p>Do something nice today,</p>
<p>Go out and listen to someone that just wants to talk.</p>
<p>It's such a lovely feeling :)</p>
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@gary-smith · 
I think I did my fair share of listening today and some :)
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@lifeisawesome · 
Good!
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@jtstreetman · 
I always enjoy your post, mainly (imho) because regardless of what you say, to me you are saying "I AM TRYING" and I will never surrender myself to the "Quitters Room !"
That my friend IS GOLDEN !!!
btw .. regarding listening ... please look up 'The Socratic Method" I think you will come to understand "soo much more"
As with any education Adults and especially children, why I so vehemently believe that "The question IS the answer"!
Seems as if all your post is a quest for understanding and seeking knowledge !
Love that about you !!!
👍  
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@lifeisawesome · 
Thank you - I DO actually use that method - I'm highly trained in listening now :)
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@jtstreetman · 
/wink !!   /salute  /Cheer !
👍  
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@steemit-life · (edited)
There is a power that comes with listening. You learn also how to discern certain characteristics and actions of most people. To listen, is the beginning of wisdom:)
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@lifeisawesome · 
So true :)
👍  
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@gikitiki · 
I agree.  My mom used to always tell me ... "You can't listen if you are talking."  

It's true in a couple of ways, but the main point is: If your brain is busy thinking about the next thing to say, then it's not fully listening to the person you are talking to.
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@lifeisawesome · 
exactly right. You need to be taking in what the person is saying :)
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@richman · 
Very encouraging post ;-)
👍  ,
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@carlidos · 
All of his damn posts are superb! Keep it up man
lets all listen to each other or at least to the ones that matter to us!
👍  , , ,
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@mohammed123 · 
you're right :/ @carlidos
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@mranderson · 
"Some people don't speak what they actually mean to say, but when I became more experienced at listening to people, the more I learned to read between the lines."

That has been the crux of life for me.  I am so literal and get so caught up in peoples body language I miss messages they are trying to get across that are not overtly stated.
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@lifeisawesome · 
I try not to get caught up in one thing - I try to embrace the situation as if it's a whole. Use all those senses :)
👍  
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@johanniellano · 
Lovely post. Yes, listening is a big one. No words are even necessary sometimes. And just allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to others and vice versa. 🙏🏽
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@lifeisawesome · 
Ah, vulnerability - so important :)
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@jamielefay · 
A great reminder. Thank you.
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@lifeisawesome · 
no problem!!
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@chashma · 
Well what most people do is, they just hear , they will say  they will listen but what they do is hear. If you have someone who is willing to listen to you, then dont lose them
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@lifeisawesome · 
Too true. Hearing and listening are two entirely different things
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@rich2b181 · 
Very nice post. I love listening to people.
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@lifeisawesome · 
Thank you. I do too :)
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@mohammed123 · 
Awsome ! like it's that what I need for now.. thanks for this motivating post :D
properties (22)
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authormohammed123
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categorylife
json_metadata"{"tags": ["life"]}"
created2016-08-31 11:33:39
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@lifeisawesome · 
No problem!
👍  
properties (23)
post_id817,298
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categorylife
json_metadata"{"tags": ["life"]}"
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vote details (1)
@carlidos · 
Hello,

I have been following your content since you started a week ago and I really admire your work. I write about the same topics.. I wanted to see you can do me a favor and do a mini boost on my latest post. I will return the favor once I get more SBD.
👍  
properties (23)
post_id812,760
authorcarlidos
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vote details (1)
@marketingmonk · 
Yay! A post with real substance makes good money :).
The world is waking up for sure.
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@lifeisawesome · 
Thank you! That means a lot :)
properties (22)
post_id817,259
authorlifeisawesome
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created2016-08-31 21:39:03
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@annamarie · 
I cann t belive
properties (22)
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json_metadata"{"tags": ["life"]}"
created2016-08-31 21:05:48
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