Ah, what a great word this week. If I'm being honest...well, I am typically being honest, but the very first thing that came to my mind with the word is the song of the same name - performed by the band, _Tool_.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiTtWnx_rjY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiTtWnx_rjY)

I cannot tell you how many times I listened to this song years ago. I can recall many times listening to this on the bus at 7:30 AM or so on the way to school. Watching all of the other kids, not only on the bus, but grouped together at the school when we would arrive - was a little overwhelming. I think it angered me a bit subconsciously. It was similar to someone being born into a family with 15 brothers and sisters...just some kind of madness you didn't ask for, but were thrust into every day.

My _disposition_ was that of being more introverted and separated from such excessive socialism and crowding. I'm sure some of it was a bit of being a little on the "emo" side as young teens often are. Well, maybe not these days since it feels like there is less rock and more rap and hip-hop. White girls listening to Ariana Grande, Post Malone, and the clutter of seemingly interchangeable rap artists out there. I think I just got "triggered".

Anyway, I felt I was obligated to also run a search through my friend, Google, and see what he had to say about _disposition_ as I wanted to look at least a little deeper into the word rather than only share a song.

Among the first two definitions, I was surprised to see that _disposition_ is seen as something permanent (according to the first definition). I had long viewed the word as a state that could change. For instance, let's say that I consider myself spiritual. My disposition is to be spiritual and introspective. But let's say that I decide I don't want to live that way any longer and I force myself to be more outgoing and less faith-focused - my disposition is then something new...and how long will that renewed disposition last?

Per the second definition I read of _disposition_, I was also surprised that the word is not always regarding a state of mind and can, _in a way_, also define a state of matter. The example within the definition on Google was as follows: "the plan need not be accurate so long as it shows the disposition of the rooms".

Though, at that point, we are bending the word to mean something else - kind of like _bear_ (carry/support) vs. _bear_ (the animal). I know it's not as drastic, but I say that only because an inanimate object cannot be _intelligent_ or _talkative_ (two potential dispositions that a human may have)...although I suppose you could argue an inanimate object _could_ be considered spiritual or happy/positive. I'm unable to tell if I am overthinking here or not.

I also briefly read that this word is used in court cases and has a meaning of being (per Google) "the final settlement of a matter [...] regardless of level of resolution". That was interesting only because it made me think of the extremes a person may have regarding his or her disposition. For example, there are hoarders out there, yet there are also passive collectors. There are moderately sad people and then there are people who are so depressed they can hardly get out of bed each day.

Overall, I would define my disposition as mildly non-confrontational, hard-working, thoughtful, mildly funny, and introspective. I feel, from what I can remember of my life, these are permanent characteristics of myself.

I was pretty content with this week's word as it felt as though I was able to gain/gather/learn more from the word through the few definitions and meanings I read through than usual. Thanks to whoever came up with this one, I missed the last show so I am not sure.

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**Thank you for reading. The BuddyUp Word of the Week is discussed weekly in the _Drop In The Ocean_ show in the BuddyUp discord server, held at 2 PM central time every Monday. It is typically hosted by Penderis. I believe anyone is welcome to join and write about whatever comes to mind.**