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<h2>Signs you May be In a Relationship With a Sociopath:</h2>

Sociopaths are not that hard to come by. And they’re not as extreme or as noticeable as you might think. They don’t drive white vans and park next to playgrounds. They don’t have greased-back hair and devious smiles. As a matter of fact, they look like you and me. They blend in. Really well. Too well. And that’s the problem with it all. 

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We’ve all been acquainted with, and likely close to, a sociopath--perhaps without even knowing it. It could be an overly charming teacher, a pushy coworker, a difficult coach, a meddlesome mother, a nagging neighbor, or a creepy cousin. Some studies show sociopaths are as common as 1 in every 25. Other studies show closer to 1 in 100. But they are fairly common, and you likely would not be able to pick them out of a crowd. 

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Not all sociopaths are dangerous and malicious, and you can actually have a fairly decent relationship with some of them given the right circumstances (think Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson?). 

But today I’m going to talk about the type you don't want to get mixed up with. I base today’s discussion on scholarly reading, advice from licensed psychologists and clinical social workers, and good old fashioned Google searches. I am not a professional. This summary is in NO way a psychological analysis of the disorder. Just me talking. 

So without further ado: 

<h2>Signs You May Be In a Relationship With A sociopath</h2>

* You are constantly feeling confused, frustrated, and bewildered by the direction (and the rules) of the relationship
* You find yourself second-guessing your memory of conversations you have had with this person
* You find yourself second-guessing your instincts, your thoughts about your worldview, and your opinions about things you used to feel confident and sure about
* You are almost automatically self-correcting things you say and do, so as to make sure you are in alignment with what you believe this person expects of you (or society)
* You wake up feeling anxious about your inability to meet the expectations of this person, and you feel like you will never quite measure up
* You are constantly accused of being over-reactive, over-emotional, overly sensitive, needy, overly jealous, or overly anything whenever you speak up about how you feel so distant and hurt by your partner
* You find yourself actually over-reacting to things this person does and says, when you otherwise used to be an easy-going, trusting person
* You have a nagging feeling that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on it because your partner seems fairly flawless at the outset
* You have a nagging, feeling that you might have made a mistake by being with this person, even though they seem so perfect
* You are always wondering why you feel so emotionally isolated from this person--like maybe you have an emotional deficiency of some kind, or maybe you did something wrong? Things used to be so good between you. Why aren’t they now? There must be something you can do….
* You wonder why this person doesn’t seem to get emotionally upset by same things that you or others do
* You wonder why this person doesn’t seem to get excited about the same things you or others do
* You wonder why this person is more interested in things that you and others are not interested in
* You find yourself often wondering if they lack emotion sometimes 
* Whenever you try to talk to the person about a real issue, you end up being more confused and frustrated than you were before you opened up, as the issue has now become somehow more convoluted and crazy (as well as your fault)
* You notice that your opinions tend to run through the filter of what you think your partner might think, rather than what you really think about something; you wonder how it got to this point
* You constantly feel like you don't want to upset your partner, even though you can't quite pin down what would happen if they did grow upset

<h2>Tells of A Sociopath</h2>

<img src="https://themindsjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/how-to-spot-a-sociopath.jpg" alt="Image result for sociopath"/>

So now you have a pretty good idea of what it FEELS like to be in a relationship with a sociopath. Let's see what it LOOKS like to spot one so you can prevent a relationship from happening in the first place! (or get out of one if you're already there). 

* They have a tough time keeping friends
* They have a tough time keeping the same job and staying put
* They tend to move around a lot; they need a change of scenery
* They tend to blame others for their mistakes
* They avoid saying "sorry" unless they know they can benefit from saying it
* They have a tough time with authority and rules
* They like to be in control (even when they are shy or unsuspecting)
* They take risks and break rules, but expect everyone else to follow them
* They move a lot because they get antsy and easily bored and need a change of scenery
* They take financial risks, thinking they themselves are invincible
* They are charming when they need to be, and piss people off when they don’t
* They begin new relationships with flattery and deep understanding, and maintain their relationships with the threat of isolation, criticism, and silence
* They allow themselves luxuries their partner is forbidden from enjoying
* They are unusually calm in situations others might deem as stressful and upsetting
* They constantly explain away lies by saying “we already talked about this!” and “You are so dramatic and unsupportive” and “I think this is just a misunderstanding…” 
* They intentionally or carelessly do things they know drive you to a point of crazy, then turn around and talk about how hysterical and crazy you are all the time--as though you were the one who behaved this way out of nowhere
* Their smile is too perfect in public, especially because they never use it at home
* They never share their own opinion unless it comes in the form of criticism. Instead, they provide platitudes and opinions from other well-respected famous people. 
* A too-perfect (fake) smile, although, they've got it down so well, it's hard to tell at first
* They just want to have control. Period. Whether they get it through charm, manipulation, belittling, changing the rules, making you feel bad, gossip, slander, flattery, martyrdom...they gotta have it.

If you know someone who has some of these traits, or who evokes responses listed in the first list, PLEASE AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS, WHEREVER POSSIBLE. It does not necessarily mean they are a sociopath or a psychopath. They could just be a narcissist or abuser. But either way, if they are this manipultive, they will make your life miserable. RUN. Run away. Far away. Cease all contact. Do not hang out in the same circles they run in. Do not keep their phone number. Unfriend them on FB. And if it's a family member or a coworker, or someone you are required to associate with, there are things you can do to minimize contact and prevent against drama and intrigue. 

For starters, [read this post](https://steemit.com/littlescribe/@littlescribe/dear-littlescribe-i-think-my-coworker-is-a-sociopath) on what to do with a coworker. 

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