Hey Ned, I don't know if you are familiar with the work of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Dunbar">Robin Dunbar</a>. He is one of those voices that I think helped me understand a lot about our human condition. 

It might be controversial to some, but I find the simplicity, the plausible explanations for our inability to grow beyond a number of meaningful connections quite liberating. 

Now, I'm under no illusion that this is "the answer". I'm outlining the possibility for its validity and the value of its consideration. 

I won't spam your post, but I suspect, you will find his theories interesting. You seem to be in the middle of an introspective journey, and those never have answers, just more interesting questions.

Hopefully I'm showing you a door you had not considered.