This story is written by Moshood Adebayo
ENJOY the CONTINUATION!
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The greatest tragedy there can ever be in the history of mankind is if at the end, man realizes there is no heaven and hell, and these contrasting spheres were just fictions concocted to ensure orderliness in our world. The greatest tragedy possible! Okay, how many financial sources have we ignored because they are not clean, on religious terms? How many roads have we refused to take because the Holy Books forbid them? How many hearts have we broken beyond repair at religions and their doctrines’ behest? And they say it’s difficult for a rich man to see paradise, so my poor kin prance about in rags, naming things they cannot afford vanities; hypocrisy though.
What if at the end, for both the rich and the poor, death is just an eternal silence, timeless hibernation, endless nothingness and there is no judgment day? Poor men would be so awfully disappointed in the expectations they had placed in stories of blissful existence in paradise, after all, they were always the happiest in church; rich men seeing the Kingdom of God is like a camel walking through the eye of a needle.
I heaved deeply as I relaxed back into my seat, my neck aching at the curiosity satisfaction my head had put it up to since we got unto this neighborhood called Banana Island. The taxi’s engine was silent, a very neat car painted uniquely for high taste of the moneyed residents. This was really a London in Lagos! If anyone still considers poverty some sort of bliss, he or she must be taken to places like Banana Island and his orientation will surely change. Poverty is a complete no—no, for me, my relatives and my friends. I’m not afraid of darkness, no, I never flinch at the mentioning of death, but I’m afraid of poverty and I’m not ashamed to say it. Poverty dulls the sharpest wits over time and makes even men of great minds merely exist and never live. What’s the essence of fearing death when one has never lived anyway? Sad thing!
You must have heard the name of a billionaire owner of Globacom, Mike Adenuga; he lives on Banana Island. Iyabo Obasanjo, daughter of former President Olusegun Obasanjo and Senator Oluremi Obasanjo, Senior Fellow at Harvard’s Advanced Leadership Initiative reside there too. Saayu Dantata, son of Alhassan Dantata, the wealthiest man in West Africa at the time of his death in 1955 has his residence there. Kola Abiola, son of Late M. K. O. Abiola, prominent businessman and politician, lives there.
Banana Island although a manmade island, I tell you, believe me, is the most expensive neighborhood in Nigeria. An area of Ikoyi it is, 8.6 kilometers east of Tafawa Balewa Square. It has one of the highest densities of millionaires in Nigeria. Do you want to talk about the Ocean Parade Towers rising into the sky at eight floors with a penthouse? Do you want to talk about world class utilities including underground water supply network, central air conditioning, central gas system, CCTV everywhere, 24 hour security, 24 hour uninterrupted electricity supply, underground electrical systems as against the popular overhead in the rest of Nigeria? Or do you want to talk about the series of 14 luxury tower blocks strategically situated at one end of the island to take advantage of 180 degree panoramic views overlooking the lagoon? Welcome to Banana Island where a plot of land goes for hundreds of millions of Naira! I thought I was there before for Receny’s birthday beach party, but this wasn’t where we came, no, I was never here, it must have been Oniru beach on Victoria Island or Eleko beach along the Lagos-Epe expressway, definitely not Banana Island.
It was shameful to admit it but I wished Phillips was there. If he was, I knew I wouldn’t have just been looking at the buildings through the door glass; I would’ve been receiving information on which building belongs to who. That guy, Phillips, he was very brilliant, no arguing about that.
I looked at the wristwatch, a new one I just bought, Edifice Casio Chronograph silver stainless watch, just Twelve Thousand Naira but looked more expensive than its price; it was 7:18pm. I wasn’t sure I had not arrived too early. I squirmed in the seat, the driver’s eyes shortly met with mine through the overhead mirror, I sighed faintly, all these stress, for love. Well, it was worth it, there was no reason to think it wasn’t.
That afternoon, just before I left the school, Mary had come and said her daddy would not be around till Tuesday, and that she would sneak out of school if I would come to their house. I asked about her siblings, she said no one would be at home. So, she gave me a key, in case I got there first. I told her I would come on Saturday night; of course I only said that for saying sake, I wasn’t intending to go. Hours before she came nonetheless, Aunt Arike had also come to discuss how the weekend was going to be. She said she’ll come over to my place, I said it was okay but she should give me a call before coming, ‘cause according to me, I might be out briefly.
I was ready to let go of them all, the only reason I hadn’t was that I loved that job; all my friends teaching at other schools collected lesser salaries and I had to accept my fate with the feminine complications if I didn’t want to plummet down to economic minimalism again. There was a way out though, if I could get Toro back, I would have her help with getting another job or establishing a business outlet. I already told a friend the abbreviated version of my story, he said it was okay.
When the taxi driver pulled over, I knew we were where we were to be, a house with half of it to the back roofed and half to the front decked amidst wonderful greenery with lagoon view. If not for the stillness of the water and the distant view of buildings, one would almost have mistaken the place for a beach. There were no canopies but a deep sound was coming from the house. There were few guys and girls hanging about or busy moving things from one place to another. I paid the taxi and alighted.
Be relaxed, I did not dress sloppily, I consulted Google before I went to the boutique; a t-shirt and a blazer, a slightly crazy jean, a panama cap, neck chain, wrist watch and a timberland foot rocker, almost Seventy-Five Thousand Naira went on that appearance alone, spend the devil’s money to win the devil’s heart.
The house didn’t look special unlike the one in Lekki. In fact, it was far smaller in size, looked like a cottage built of timber on an expanse of sandy mass of land. I guess since it was in Banana Island, it wouldn’t be as cheap as it looked. It wasn’t fenced; at least not with bricks but somehow with well spaced palm trees; it wasn’t interlocked or cemented either. It was like a village part of Banana Island, at the mouth of a part of the lagoon.
I stood where I was for a minute, and then strolled away from the house. I love riverside areas; I wanted to see the beach, I called it a beach and not a mere bank because of its sandy ground. There were few people sitting around there too, mostly young adults. I rested my butts on one of the wooden seats; it was a complete fresh air, far from the hustles and tussles of Lagos’ endless clumsiness. If only I had gone with a pen and a sketchpad, I would’ve written a poem or two.
“Excuse me?” A girl fluttered behind my head.
My “Yeah?” was spontaneous, and she came around the seat to have a place beside me.
“You’re new here,” she said as she lighted a cigarette without even looking at me for a response.
Oh my… these girls don’t find smoking bizarre for them these days, do they?
“Argh—” smiled I. “I am. I came for a birthday party and it appears I’ve arrived too early. I’m just waiting for sundown.”
“Okay.”
Long silence…
A girl in bikini at some point passed by with a guy in shorts; last time I saw someone dressed like this, it was at Receny’s birthday. I ogled her and gazed after her bum-bum as she passed by.
“She probably came for the birthday too. She and the guy… they’re new here.”
She definitely caught me.
“Huh,” I smiled. “The passing lovebirds?”
“Yeah, the passing lovebirds.”
“Tunde is my name.” I extended my hand.
She shook it. Soft palm I tell you.
“Let’s jez call me a girl by the lagoon, hun?”
“Hmm… a girl by the lagoon?” I rested my left hand on the chair’s crest as I shifted sideways to face her.
She took the cigarette in her mouth out and extended it to me. Blood of Zechariah! Is she serious?
My “thank you” was by a gesture of hand waving.
“I insist,” she said perpetually.
“But I don’t smoke, I’m sorry.”
“Oh! A neighbor from a different galaxy!” she chortled. “Doctor’s directive?”
“No, personal. Haven’t smoked before anyways.”
“Ah, I’m sorry then.” She dropped the cigarette on the floor and stamped on it. “Who invited you to the party?”
She was quite respectful, for putting the cigarette out for me. I didn’t know what to say.
“The celebrant himself, Teju.”
“A friend then?”
“Yes, I’m one of his friends.” Didn’t really get what she wanted to hear as response but I guess I was on the line. It was quite tasking to chat with these foreign accents these days.
“Okay then. It’s getting dark now. I’m returning indoor… it’s become a habit, you know, coming out to smoke, mum’s harshness.”
“Okay.” I stood too after she stood. “Do you know Teju, the birthday guy?”
“Very well.”
“Her sister, Toro?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
She was walking away in reverse.
“Will you be at the party?” I asked.
“I should,” mumbled she.
“You haven’t told me your name.” I was feeling homely with her already.
“A mysterious girl by the lagoon,” she answered wryly.
“No, I’ll be a fool to search for that on Facebook.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll see me at the party.” She pronounced that party very long before she disappeared into the night.
I looked at my phone; it was 7:45 pm already. Longer day, shorter night period; if not, there wasn’t supposed to be any trace of day left at that kind of time.
I returned to my seat and looked out into the night; distant beams of traffic darting hither and yon in the grayish sky, cold breeze of the lagoon sailing against my thoughtful face. I couldn’t resist it; memories of home in many years back started flushing back to my psyche. Our house wasn’t located beside a lagoon, but when you sit at the entrance of our house on one of our plastic chairs at night, you would have similar breezes clasping you in their lulling paws. No worries about school fees, daddy had that to think about. No worries about accommodation fees, we were our own landlords. No worries about anything tangible but when food would be ready and when the power generator would be started so that my siblings and I could gather around the TV and watch one program or the other. Life was young and sweet!
There is usually something about youthful days while we lived with our original families; jokes at night, fights over who would sweep where in the morning, who would wash plates after a meal, the secondary school, the table tennis, the tic-tac-toe, the football at the backyard or on the un-tarred road, beautiful and exhilarating moments not appreciated at the time, but once you leave home in search of adult means of independence, pursuit of matrimonial pair and search for happiness, you’ll leave something behind, something unique to youthful days alone; ecstasy, exuberance, something made of love and punishment from papa and momma, something which made you who you are, I’m sorry, you’ll never see such again, not ever again, it’s gone forever, once you leave home. Home is behind and behind it shall stay, so swears reality and the need to grow.
I sat there, looking at my former girlfriend’s picture on my phone. If we had not been torn apart, twenty thousand likes of Toro wouldn’t have wavered my love for her. But she said I didn’t trust her. She said I am a Muslim. And all I could see on her was a victim, a victim of religion. I pray she finds true love. She deserves it, in a fellow Christian. It was totally useless to think of that at that point, Toromade Oyeleye, princess of the Tribe of Moguls, my heart robber had to be won; I was not ready to handle her being stripped out of my life too.
The sound of music was already rising behind my head, laced with loud wailings and natters of hilarious guests; the party had started. I looked at the phone, 9:02pm, damn it, how come? I rose swiftly and traced my steps back, let’s do it. Let’s see what Kevin looks like.
When I got back to the venue, it didn’t look like it looked earlier; there were some balloon-like bulbs hung in the air and they were strikingly beautiful. The place was dimly illuminated and Nigerian afro-beats were rolling at the Disc Jockey’s spot. Hands were in the air, some people were seated, being served food and drinks. Along the sides of the private road to my left were exotic cars, none not worth gazing at twice. I adjusted my blazer, forced up a smiling face and progressed inwards; no bouncer, no questioning.
“Love me make I love you baby oooh, baby oh. Kiss me make I kiss you baby oooh, baby oh…” went on Wizkid’s song in the background. Not very loud like those of the parties I’ve seen though, the sound was deep and heavy; enough to vibrate a glass cup on the table. I looked at these people, everybody was busy talking, or eating, or drinking, or singing or dancing but no face looked familiar.
“Hey there, Tunde?” I saw a hand waving me over. It was not that dim an illumination not to see at all, I saw my caller, the mysterious girl by the lagoon, sitting at a table with some other girls. They drew a chair back for me and I installed myself amidst them.
“The girl by the lagoon!” I beamed courteously.
“That’s me.” She flagged down a man with a tray of glasses, gave me a glass of what tasted to be God knows what it tasted like. At first I wanted to reject the idea of drinking but since I was the guy who got drunk by the beach few weeks ago, why not at least bite the glass here too? Jesus won’t come back any soon anyway; and God in His infinite mercy, loves forgiveness.
“What’d you like to eat?”
“Anything… whatever’s edible is okay with me but I’d love to see the celebrant first, do you know where I might find him?”
“Yeah—yeah, he’s up there. We’ll reserve your seat.”
The girl by the lagoon; she was a beautiful one. If you were married to Toro and this one comes knocking, you wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation, but no, I wasn’t looking with that eye yet, I hadn’t forgotten my purpose.
I rose briskly and pranced around the tables and dancing groups till I got to the bottom of a wide staircase which led up to the deck of the building, a wide platform looking down on the whole party and the lagoon beyond it. Well, unlike the general entrance, I did meet a pair of hefty men totally not smelling of drinks at the end of the climb and they assessed me without words, probably expecting me to present a kind of permit card or something. I was already fumbling around words when Teju himself called from behind them.
“Ah—ah, see who’s here… Tunde!” I saw him rising to his feet amidst the cloud of smoke. “Come—come—come, I almost concluded you’ll not come.”
There was a large and long table, like a dining table and it was littered with bottles of several categories of drinks I never saw before, save Champagne, Hennessey and Cîrok. Almost everyone at the table was smoking, and they weren’t smoking cigarettes, they were rather smoking stuffs outside the purview of a gentleman. Men and women, or excuse me, niggers and bitches sat around the table, only four or five chairs unoccupied. They all looked up briefly as Teju shouted my name, and after they resumed their laughter, jokes, puffs and drinks, only one man continued to look at me through the cloud of smokes even after I sat three persons away from Teju’s right. He was not fat like Teju, no, he wasn’t a lean guy like me either; he was a normal guy with sartorial elegance that would attract any girl, very handsome and didn’t look like someone who was ever hungry in his life. A fat cigar hung in-between his fingers and smoke oozed out of his mouth like a great volcano. Teju sat at the head of the table, the gawping guy sat by his left, next to him. Bottles were already moved to my front, glasses following, by no other persons but by those seated at the table, and when I looked at the face of the person giving the calls, I stilled, Blood of Zechariah! Reminisce? One of my favorite Nigerian rap artistes! Curiosity made me look at other faces too. Most unknown but I did see someone I was sure was Eva Alordia, and then I saw Wizkid and Wande Coal. Wow!
“Alaga Ibile!” that was me speaking without my own awareness.
“Bros,” responded he with a smile on his face. I never knew these guys were so simple like this, serving me drinks, even calling me bros, which was enough a respectful uttering from a guy of his salt.
I extended my hand and he shook it in the gripping way I expected it. Then he grabbed a bottle of Cîrok, looked at my face to receive the notion that I wanted that, I nodded and then he poured for me. I wasn’t an aficionado of alcohol, I only nodded spontaneously. I was in the company of stars and it was too much to take at once, no wonder that folk called Kevin found it easy to compose a song that powerful for Toro; music was his world! The question then was who was this Kevin amongst them? I looked at the direction of that guy looking at me again, he was no more there.
I sipped this vodka, once, twice, and thrice, and many more. And then the guy returned with another guy as well-built as Dwayne Johnson. No sooner had they arrived than a new wave of guests joined the party on the deck, girls in outrageous appearances, sex workers maybe? They crowded upon us like locusts on a corn field, rubbing on our chests and shoulders and sitting on our laps, probably going to give blow jobs to whoever appealed for it. I realized I had to leave the place; it seemed more like trap than pleasure. Someone new came upstairs but he didn’t attempt to go past the bouncers, it was Teju who went to meet him, and whatever the guy told Teju spoiled his mood immediately, he didn't seem to like whatever he told him. And then he waved the guy that was looking at me over, the three of them went downstairs. I looked at Eva, sitting directly across to me. Damn it, I’ve lusted after that girl in her videos, even dreamt that we kissed, and there she was, not even looking at me.
I stood and pushed back the chair.
“I dey come,” I told Reminisce and gestured to the girl resting her boobs on my back to fuck off. I went to the steps at once and descended it to the major party.
The girl at the lagoon was still where I left her and my chair was still vacant. Food was already served and covered. I went there and sat.
“You saw him?” she asked without paying much attention.
“Yes, I saw him,” I replied without paying attention too.
“I wouldn’t know what you’d like to eat, so I called for rice.”
“It’s okay.” I opened it. Partitioned mixture of fried and jollof rice with salad, served with grilled chicken. I was hungry; I didn’t even remember eating anything yet that day.
“Hi everyone,” came an elderly voice through the speakers while I was eating. I raised my head to look at the direction; a man in simple Yoruba’s bùbá àti sòkòtò (Shirt and trouser) sewn from Guinea materials was standing there at a platform that was not there before. He was a bit fat and tall, had bushy eyebrows, clean shaven and cleft chinned. “Do I have your attention now?”
“Oh my God!” muttered the girl by the lagoon, both her hands on her chest.
“Good evening friends,” said the man. “I really didn’t know that his birthday would be this soon, I would’ve made it grander than this, you know, busy dad, lots of travels. Thanks to my wife who keeps explaining to them why I’m like that, they would’ve probably had me killed.”
Everybody laughed over that, including him.
“We all know why we’re here, there’s no need to waste time reminding us. It’s Oyeteju’s birthday, what do you call him, Uncle T? He’s a great kid but you all know he’s very stubborn don’t you? His mum is too.”
Everybody laughed again, save the girl by the lagoon and I.
“I just arrived Nigeria like a hour ago, forty minutes ahead of my wife who came from a different country, so, I might not be out here with you at the early hours of the night, we’ll rest a bit, we’re sorry, but we’ll join in eventually, you know, weren’t we the ones who invented birthday parties? We invented the booze. So, we mustn’t be absent from it. Thanks for coming. We appreciate it. God bless you all.”
They clapped. I didn’t see a reason to, so, I didn’t. But after he left the platform, I saw the look of relief on the girl’s face. That was Mr. Oyeleye, bàbá olówó, (the rich man) I needed not being told again, Teju looks like him more than anyone else. After the food, questions started springing up in my mind. Where was Toro? Where was Kevin? I’ve seen the father and the mother but, where was the one Toro said they call Angel, where was Toro herself and the boyfriend who always come back?
Speak of the devil, and there he appears. Toro was extraordinarily beautiful. She was in pink. What was this women’s gown without shoulders or neck called? Tube gown? That was what she wore and a diamond bracelet sparkled around her neck. A pink purse, a pink high heeled shoe, a lot of rings and earrings, I never saw her dressed that high-toned before, really used makeup obviously that night and I began to feel small. The guy looking at me on the deck amidst the cloud of smoke appeared ahead of Teju and kissed Toro on her forehead, then had Toro’s hand put around his curved arm and the three of them progressed towards the crowd, towards us.
“Who is that guy?” I asked the girl instantly.
“Who?” she asked, looking away from her talks.
“That guy with Toro, who’s he?”
“Kevin? He’s Toro’s boyfriend.”
I placed the cup I was about to put in my mouth down. They even wore the same colour of outfits! And Teju didn’t even look at my direction. Guessed he invited me solely to prove his point.
“How much do you know him—this Kevin guy?”
“Kevin… He’s quite sweet and very jovial. He’s a MTV guy, writes songs and stuffs, and promotes artistes. He and Toro met at a concert in New York. They’re a fine pair, inseparable. Sometimes I get jealous, silly me.” She giggled.
My eyes were red.
“But how did you know that much about them? You must be close friends.”
I needed an excuse to believe she was bluffing but she was not.
“Close friends?” she scoffed. “I’m her big sister! I’m not her friend! Without my help, Kevin couldn’t have got Toro in the first place.”
I watched her lips as she spoke on.
They sang birthday songs as Teju walked through the crowd, shaking hands and receiving hugs. I sat back; this scene of my girlfriend herding with another man had robbed me of all oomph. I poured from the wine these girls were drinking, Buckfast, 15% alcohol. I didn’t sip, fuck the rule, I gulped a full glass in five seconds and looked up at the approaching lovebirds. They were thanking people for coming. Toro didn’t see me until she got to our table, and I swear she was shocked. She sure as hell didn’t know I heard about the party or was invited, Teju apparently didn’t tell her.
“I see you have met our sister, Tayo.” Teju smiled and winked at me.
The girl by the lagoon was Tayo, Teju’s big sister. I’ve heard about her twice before I met her; Toro mentioned her when we had our first outing on a date and Teju also mentioned her when he invited me to the party.
“Are you the one Toro said they call Angel?” I was even stupid to ask, I just wanted to behave like nothing was wrong with me.
“Yes, that’s what I’m called. Only this birthday pumpkin calls me Tayo. Look at his mouth!”
“You’re in good hands,” winked Teju again.
Angel herself patted my back. “Yeah, we’ve been together all night and he’s cool,” she said.
“Yes,” I nodded. “She’s my big host.”
Toro looked away.
“Hey girl, meet my friend, Tunde.” That was Angel, telling Toro to meet me.
She looked at me and looked away quickly, withdrew her hand from Kevin’s arm and went away after mumbling “excuse me” more or less inaudibly.
Angel didn’t suspect a thing but I didn’t know that she didn’t know something was between us, and I didn’t know that Toro didn’t know that she didn’t know, and that Teju didn’t know that Toro didn’t know that she didn’t know that he didn’t know that she didn't know.
“Mum had asked for you,” said Teju to Angel. “Where have you been?”
“As you can see, I’ve been here with my friends. Don’t worry, I’ll go say hi.”
“All right, she doesn’t bite.”
“Shut up.”
Teju walked on, and then Kevin came closer.
“I’m Kevin,” he extended his hand, a fool would know this guy already knew me and who I was; Teju must have told him.
“I’m Tunde.” I shook his hand, pushed the chair back and stood to face him. Someone once told me, we don’t deal with our problems on seat, we stand up to them.
“So, you reside around here?” he asked, very fluent English I tell you.
“Sort of,” I shrugged. “And you?” As if I did not know already.
“Well, sort of but I’m based in the U.S. I’m a MTV promoter. You must have seen me on TV before, haven’t you?”
“No, I don’t watch MTV.”
“Really? Okay. So, what do you do?”
“I’m a teacher. While you guys are busy entertaining, someone has to secure the future, you know.”
“Yeah, sure. Would you mind if we chat again sometime tonight? I’ve got things to put in place for now.”
“No problem, I’ll be here, or up there, anytime.”
“Nice meeting you, Tunde.”
“My pleasure, really, Kevin.”
We shook hands again. He turned away, and when I inadvertently looked at Teju’s direction, the devil’s eyes met with mine and he winked again. Blood of Zechariah! What the…
Teju got up on the platform, welcomed the people, said he was gonna coordinate the party the New York way, he was gonna invite people on stage to sing for the celebrant before he would accept volunteers. He invited Wizkid first, everybody wailed as the young man came down the steps from where I left him and got up on the platform, a slightly raised stage above the ground level you wouldn’t need a staircase to get up on. He said a lot of explicit stuffs, and then sang no birthday song; he only picked randomly from his popular songs while the Disc Jockey did the rest to put the sex workers at work, flapping their bum-bums and the responsible half-nakeds singing along and bobbling their bosoms too. Wande Coal came without invitation and grabbed another microphone, music was in that guy’s blood badly; he didn’t let the beat die down, he started moving his fat ass up and down, saying this and that.
Seriously, anyone wouldn’t go to that place and not have sex with at least two girls before dawn unless he went with his own girlfriend. This was more like a sex club than a party, a lot of drinks, too much for the people present, expensive stuffs, expensive body ornaments on everyone, too much of body sprays in an atmospheric riot, too much of nudity. I was new in that world. The parties I was used to was where one man would spend one hour saying “hello—chu—chu—chu”, “hello—chu—chu” into the microphone before he’ll start playing Sikiru Ayinde Barrister’s songs and people would be drinking Trophy, Guilder and Harp, eating kolanut too.
Some other guys I didn’t know also sang, Eva sang, Reminisce sang and then something weird happened, the idiot called my name, said I was up next and I was like, is he kidding me? I told Angel I’m no singer but she said I better go, that he was only honouring me, I shouldn’t abuse it. But fuck it! Fuck the honour! I was not Burna Boy!
My legs nearly fell as I walked up there; all eyes on me. I collected the microphone and tried as much as possible to not let it show that my hands were shaking. This guy wanted to humiliate me and I knew it.
“I’m no singer,” I said bluntly, totally out of clues but unapologetically stubborn. What was I supposed to say when I knew my voice could scare all the fishes in the Atlantic Ocean off if I sang on a ship? I thought I just needed to be myself, and who was I? A poet? Yes, a poet! And that was exactly what I was going to do, poetry. “I’d love to sing really, but if everybody sang here tonight, we’d not known Teju’s density of friends extend beyond the studio, wouldn’t we? Lemme just say some poetic stuff to remind us of the significance of parturition in our specie.” I cleared my throat.
“In the dark womb where I began,” I started, and they listened. “My mother’s life made me a man. Through all the months of human birth, her beauty fed me my common earth. I could not see, nor breathe, nor stir, but through the death of some of her. My mother groaned, my father wept; into the dangerous world I leapt; helpless, naked, piping aloud; like a fiend hid in a cloud. Nothing begins and nothing ends that is not paid with moan, for we are born in others’ pain and perish in our own. We are all born mad, we mustn’t remain so, Teju isn’t mad, to not celebrate him today is bad, pardon my way, I’m a sort of nerd. Happy Birthday buddy! Drink responsibly. Don’t be that bloody!”
After I stopped, they still kept quiet until after like ten seconds when the first person clapped, everyone else followed suit. I wasn’t sure what I just said was meaningful to the lot of them but whatever it was, it impressed Kevin. I wasn’t like them but being me unapologetically wasn’t that bad after all.
“That was cool,” was Kevin’s remark when he collected the microphone from me. “Did you just think that up right here?”
“Well, let’s just say parlour tricks.”
“Parlour tricks!”
“Yes, what I call parlour tricks. Sometimes I just—”
“Hey Tunde,” interrupted Teju, think of the devil. “You just said that poetic thing, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, that was me,” pride was an easy thing when you’re trying not to look as inferior as you feel.
“Thank you, I like it. Dad heard it too, and now he wants to meet you.”
“Dad… dad?”
“Yes, my pop. Old man likes poetry. The entrance is that way.”
“Wait. What would he want to see me for.”
“I don’t know, but surely positive. Don’t be afraid, he doesn’t bite.”
“I didn’t say he—okay, I’ll go.”
I was excited and I hated it. His dad? Toro’s dad? Was I supposed to be excited or afraid?
I looked at Kevin’s eyes and I saw disapproval hidden beneath his smiling face, wasn’t that the more reason I should be willing to meet the man? I wanted to go right on but Angel showed up and grabbed my two hands.
“That was cool,” she said. “What did you study in school?”
“No, not English.”
“I was going to say Creative Writing.”
“Well, it’s Biology.”
“Nonsense, you didn’t study biology.”
“I did.” I placed my mouth close to her ear. “The poetry isn’t entirely mine. I stole the lines.”
"Hmmm... that explains the parturition in our specie."
I smiled.
“Angel, dad wants to meet him, don’t delay him.”
“Why?” The way she squeezed her eyes gave me the impression that mentioning or appearance of their dad always got them squashed up. When Teju left the deck the earlier time in a frown, he was probably told his dad had arrived. When their dad appeared on the platform the other time too, Angel gasped “Oh my God” and only sighed in relief after Mr. Oyeleye had dropped the microphone.
“Dude said some profound stuffs and dad heard it.” He rolled his eyes and went away, up the deck.
“This way,” Angel grabbed my hand but Kevin who abruptly left showed up almost immediately with two glasses of some dark wine.
“Happy birthday to our friend,” he said and extended a cup to me. I collected it and clinked with him.
“To our friend,” I said and gulped half of it, then dropped the rest in the passing tray.
“This way,” Angel drew me towards the house now, and at a dark corner, she pressed her body against mine to the wall and plugged her lips in-between mine. Before I could protest, she was off me, “a kiss from a stranger in the dark,” she whispered, “someone who’s fallen for you by just looking at you from the back, seated by the lagoon. Someone you’ll pretend you have not known. Go inside, do not talk too much, what the old man doesn’t ask, he doesn’t want to know, that’s the drill and he’ll like you just fine, okay?”
I didn’t expect her to see my body response, but I nodded. Toro’s sister? Fell for me by just looking at me from the back, seated by the lagoon? Just when I thought I was solving my problems, I was only finding myself in more!
When I progressed inside and found myself in a sitting room which didn’t look that exotic to match what one would have expected of a house on Banana Island, I knew something was suddenly wrong with me. My eyes… they were bulging out, my head throbbing and everything started revolving around me. I was not losing my footing hitherto but I was not in control of myself. I quickly flashed back, it must have been the drink that Kevin just gave me, it must hav