![image](https://img.esteem.ws/33ue76ojo9.jpg) [SOURCE](ttps://pixabay.com/en/girl-drinking-tea-coffee-cup-865304/) <center>I lay down in silent Trying to escape from it all From everything in my head, my thoughts is painful I go out and get engage with others I got busy with life, became a workaholic I did everything to overthrown my worrie</center> <hr> <center>Trauma, they do say I'm having a traumatic stress disorder Those men in white, they are called doctors They advised me to take some rest And here I am laying down to rest But it's more traumatic being here than getting myself all stressed out I guess no matter how much I try it's going to be still here I will always be traumatic</center> <hr> <center>*My eyelids are close like someone deeply asleep but I'm very much awake. I try to cover my face from them all. I bow down my head in shame even while alone My will was taken away from me My treasured dignity was stripped away I was forced to bend down my knees.*</center> <hr> <center>*I can see gladness in their stares as my eye lids open a little to take a peep The happiness in their eyes pierce through my skin causing me great pains They stare at me in merriment as I hid my face in shame.*</center> <hr> <center>*I can hear the shattering of their glasses as they cheers to my defeat I'm the piece of their mockery My pride has been made a doormat onto them My dignity as been exchange for shame I'm literally dead.*</center> <hr> <center>*My morale is gone I can't do anything good than living this misery of a life I have suicidal thoughts and it could have been good if I can do it I do feel suicidal everytime but I just can't go for the knife I'm such a misery of myself.*</center> <hr> ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/tlv9d248za.jpg) [SOURCE](https://pixabay.com/en/artist-art-art-work-asia-brush-1822690/) <center>My eyelids are now open I have stood up My flaw is the shame I hid myself under and I have let it go I told myself the biggest lie they wanted me to believe I failed myself for a long while but not anymore I have decided to fail them and stop believing in a lie I have accepted the truth of me being unique.</center> <hr> <center>I do have morale in me and not the one of finally ending it all But the morale of picking up my piece and moving on Yeah they do throw me on the floor And yeah I decided to get up I picked my dignity, for my destiny is not a doormat but a star Stars are not to be hidden in shameStars shine and glitters So I shine and glitter For I'm a star</center>
post_id | 68,104,404 | ||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
author | prechyrukky | ||||||
permlink | trauma-getting-free-f3612406745b6 | ||||||
category | poetry | ||||||
json_metadata | {"format":"markdown+html","image":["https:\/\/img.esteem.ws\/33ue76ojo9.jpg"],"community":"esteem","app":"esteem\/1.5.1","tags":["poetry","esteemapp","bigwaves","stach","nigeria"],"links":["https:\/\/pixabay.com\/en\/artist-art-art-work-asia-brush-1822690\/"]} | ||||||
created | 2018-12-30 08:18:39 | ||||||
last_update | 2018-12-30 08:18:39 | ||||||
depth | 0 | ||||||
children | 2 | ||||||
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last_payout | 2019-01-06 08:18:39 | ||||||
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 | ||||||
total_payout_value | 0.850 SBD | ||||||
curator_payout_value | 0.277 SBD | ||||||
pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD | ||||||
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root_title | "TRAUMA- GETTING FREE" | ||||||
beneficiaries |
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author_curate_reward | "" |
voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
bleepcoin | 0 | 243,377,787,609 | 50% | ||
good-karma | 0 | 56,269,992,756 | 2.01% | ||
mysteem | 0 | 32,308,621 | 2.01% | ||
demo | 0 | 63,433,833 | 2.01% | ||
feruz | 0 | 177,163,312 | 2.01% | ||
esteemapp | 0 | 404,851,087,246 | 2.01% | ||
ogoowinner | 0 | 162,089,654,620 | 30% | ||
camzy | 0 | 31,550,710,179 | 100% | ||
minnowsupport | 0 | 109,370,040,891 | 2.5% | ||
kisom1 | 0 | 240,554,309 | 50% | ||
saintopic | 0 | 604,095,313 | 50% | ||
klynic | 0 | 1,216,906,673 | 50% | ||
bluemoon | 0 | 427,093,196 | 2.01% | ||
haji | 0 | 92,833,400 | 0.5% | ||
ayubloaded | 0 | 1,493,464,090 | 100% | ||
crypto-whiz | 0 | 2,938,726,492 | 100% | ||
horpey | 0 | 107,666,519,683 | 100% | ||
vwovwe | 0 | 1,376,514,683 | 100% | ||
stach | 0 | 112,942,922,810 | 100% | ||
tolarnee | 0 | 1,116,586,526 | 50% | ||
rogerman | 0 | 138,792,179 | 100% | ||
mzajoke | 0 | 394,013,560 | 50% | ||
rijalaronaceh | 0 | 210,384,625 | 2% | ||
esteem.app | 0 | 418,581,137 | 2.01% | ||
morahn | 0 | 3,205,601,360 | 50% | ||
tekadii | 0 | 1,261,421,074 | 100% | ||
lumen77 | 0 | 1,321,496,104 | 100% | ||
advsamadhan | 0 | 119,230,081 | 50% | ||
jetto | 0 | 246,489,783 | 50% | ||
pasaift | 0 | 942,301,115 | 5% | ||
marvel1206 | 0 | 13,318,199,760 | 100% | ||
caesar2341 | 0 | 242,022,286 | 50% | ||
fejiro | 0 | 1,231,223,761 | 50% | ||
olatun | 0 | 469,496,951 | 100% | ||
druids | 0 | 2,206,629,246 | 75% | ||
paragon99 | 0 | 392,753,562 | 50% | ||
tosyne2much | 0 | 1,108,251,425 | 50% | ||
jeline | 0 | 2,352,893,602 | 100% | ||
bbstar | 0 | 102,719,220 | 50% | ||
waku | 0 | 502,943,604 | 100% | ||
oredebby | 0 | 4,208,189,949 | 50% | ||
kaylog | 0 | 254,818,340 | 100% | ||
desmonddesk | 0 | 4,997,101,173 | 100% | ||
raise-me-up | 0 | 0 | 0.01% | ||
used-lessboy | 0 | 168,396,968 | 50% | ||
ilukzymoore | 0 | 243,583,249 | 50% | ||
matadonis | 0 | 237,434,297 | 50% | ||
syahrulfardani | 0 | 238,445,837 | 50% | ||
mbadayee | 0 | 207,430,811 | 50% | ||
melisaa | 0 | 247,861,531 | 50% | ||
chidiarua | 0 | 520,631,676 | 100% | ||
valarmorg | 0 | 509,603,250 | 100% | ||
smart-shaegxy | 0 | 531,213,117 | 50% | ||
cherylsonty | 0 | 6,030,687,838 | 100% | ||
polycarpedet | 0 | 237,565,858 | 50% | ||
steempeninsula | 0 | 443,707,099 | 100% | ||
sir.skillful1 | 0 | 432,208,384 | 50% | ||
erikah | 0 | 4,683,792,576 | 5% | ||
anam01 | 0 | 93,504,472 | 50% | ||
jo5h | 0 | 2,362,210,705 | 100% | ||
phaazer1 | 0 | 1,472,712,047 | 50% | ||
teukuizul | 0 | 383,693,665 | 100% | ||
rikilb | 0 | 201,986,665 | 50% | ||
jubreal | 0 | 4,058,915,022 | 50% | ||
saifuddin07 | 0 | 670,645,042 | 100% | ||
ismail96 | 0 | 104,325,178 | 100% | ||
alimuddin97 | 0 | 227,846,364 | 50% | ||
eskomauliadi | 0 | 104,479,769 | 50% | ||
andhikafebrian | 0 | 162,972,340 | 50% | ||
prechyrukky | 0 | 3,326,474,969 | 80% | ||
carloniere | 0 | 175,557,213 | 50% | ||
wandy01 | 0 | 194,010,379 | 50% | ||
murhadi9 | 0 | 724,835,037 | 100% | ||
everydaybitcoin | 0 | 108,679,247 | 50% | ||
juned0292 | 0 | 227,765,871 | 50% | ||
afefe | 0 | 235,788,919 | 50% | ||
teukuafzal | 0 | 166,937,971 | 50% | ||
kenn24 | 0 | 246,129,794 | 50% | ||
abdane | 0 | 129,201,104 | 50% | ||
oiq | 0 | 240,314,235 | 50% | ||
pepememes | 0 | 148,591,462 | 50% | ||
gifty-e | 0 | 100,754,739 | 50% | ||
ammyluv | 0 | 1,145,052,998 | 50% | ||
yourboynextdoor | 0 | 247,462,957 | 50% | ||
wawan.anestesi | 0 | 220,428,731 | 50% | ||
kerabanafk | 0 | 240,592,414 | 50% | ||
afolwalex | 0 | 13,618,835,368 | 100% | ||
nurjannah11 | 0 | 220,382,456 | 50% | ||
khairuddin08 | 0 | 162,265,726 | 50% | ||
nur-malita | 0 | 221,324,618 | 50% | ||
blessedben | 0 | 988,772,168 | 75% | ||
syahril9 | 0 | 142,967,070 | 50% | ||
jacksondavies | 0 | 687,240,990 | 50% | ||
wr212 | 0 | 215,734,867 | 50% | ||
terry00 | 0 | 116,744,820 | 50% | ||
martzpro | 0 | 252,925,732 | 50% | ||
viktor1414 | 0 | 246,674,521 | 50% | ||
julietpage | 0 | 553,129,189 | 100% | ||
prayzz | 0 | 2,158,763,469 | 50% | ||
bahagia9 | 0 | 241,904,329 | 50% | ||
oyelekan | 0 | 169,494,374 | 50% | ||
dontador | 0 | 246,674,521 | 50% | ||
millaclipps | 0 | 247,729,345 | 50% | ||
nigerian-yogagal | 0 | 2,516,720,440 | 50% | ||
allyberry | 0 | 247,422,160 | 50% | ||
simplewole | 0 | 137,844,571 | 50% | ||
okipeter | 0 | 541,956,844 | 50% | ||
trigar12 | 0 | 246,554,621 | 50% | ||
steemjet | 0 | 678,985,093,095 | 100% | ||
awesome-p | 0 | 240,487,334 | 50% | ||
bitmy | 0 | 91,439,684 | 50% | ||
rashyem | 0 | 248,029,323 | 50% | ||
finite-clothings | 0 | 96,787,694 | 25% | ||
toyl55 | 0 | 751,683,695 | 100% | ||
sirewales | 0 | 248,126,633 | 50% | ||
dawizy | 0 | 3,276,957,995 | 100% | ||
viralz | 0 | 123,992,785 | 50% | ||
lightoj | 0 | 98,679,864 | 10% | ||
elpriist | 0 | 247,490,673 | 50% | ||
joker33 | 0 | 246,556,659 | 50% | ||
manualejandrop | 0 | 98,110,377 | 25% | ||
caleb96 | 0 | 246,674,521 | 50% | ||
nuryriana | 0 | 241,851,269 | 50% | ||
steemiansarena | 0 | 858,425,831 | 100% | ||
akmal93 | 0 | 532,435,444 | 50% | ||
caroline1234 | 0 | 238,596,670 | 100% | ||
midesignature | 0 | 161,704,361 | 50% | ||
afromit | 0 | 246,613,771 | 50% | ||
hermanasquintero | 0 | 219,897,262 | 50% | ||
evegrace | 0 | 1,247,405,061 | 50% | ||
newsnow | 0 | 150,806,507 | 50% | ||
pharao20 | 0 | 117,802,641 | 50% | ||
simaoatb | 0 | 246,674,521 | 50% | ||
osakuni | 0 | 75,241,235 | 50% | ||
olakunle | 0 | 246,332,133 | 50% | ||
christopher007 | 0 | 246,326,526 | 50% | ||
ninihorlah | 0 | 231,938,980 | 50% | ||
olusegun | 0 | 238,465,001 | 50% | ||
ayoshewa | 0 | 246,674,521 | 50% | ||
mahdi-steem | 0 | 530,697,929 | 50% | ||
steemingnaija | 0 | 100,327,982 | 25% | ||
sadnesscarl | 0 | 163,498,533 | 50% | ||
opeyemil | 0 | 246,089,033 | 50% | ||
loveforlove | 0 | 247,853,787 | 50% | ||
neyor | 0 | 246,674,500 | 50% | ||
daddykross | 0 | 247,462,936 | 50% | ||
steemitcentral | 0 | 177,668,067,052 | 65% | ||
olatunechi | 0 | 54,993,134 | 50% | ||
taqiyagenji | 0 | 240,367,348 | 50% | ||
sid000 | 0 | 105,748,251 | 50% | ||
thoor | 0 | 70,691,160 | 20% | ||
shahidullah832 | 0 | 88,459,224 | 50% | ||
eu-id | 0 | 2,501,752,165 | 10% | ||
eu-africa | 0 | 5,082,606,559 | 100% | ||
sammiegold | 0 | 852,145,496 | 50% | ||
wiseman222 | 0 | 169,928,654 | 50% | ||
olulekan | 0 | 338,643,461 | 50% | ||
naveedakhtar6283 | 0 | 163,427,781 | 50% | ||
toheliuk | 0 | 528,119,329 | 50% | ||
writeandearn | 0 | 612,290,935 | 50% |
Thanks for using **eSteem**! <br>Your post has been voted as a part of [eSteem encouragement program](https://steemit.com/esteem/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! Install [Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.netsolutions.esteem), [iOS](https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=1141397898&mt=8) Mobile app or [Windows, Mac, Linux](https://github.com/esteemapp/esteem-surfer/releases) Surfer app, if you haven't already!<br>Learn more: https://esteem.app <br>Join our discord: https://discord.gg/8eHupPq
post_id | 68,108,409 |
---|---|
author | esteemapp |
permlink | re-20181230t112357163z |
category | poetry |
json_metadata | {"format":"markdown+html","community":"esteem.app","app":"esteem\/1.0-welcome","tags":["esteem"]} |
created | 2018-12-30 10:23:57 |
last_update | 2018-12-30 10:23:57 |
depth | 1 |
children | 0 |
net_rshares | 0 |
last_payout | 2019-01-06 10:23:57 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
promoted | 0.000 SBD |
body_length | 599 |
author_reputation | 396,075,316,369,469 |
root_title | "TRAUMA- GETTING FREE" |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 |
<p>Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by Prechyrukky from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the <a href="https://discord.gg/HYj4yvw"> Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel</a>. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.</p> <p>If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&delegatee=minnowsupport&vesting_shares=102530.639667%20VESTS">50SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&delegatee=minnowsupport&vesting_shares=205303.639667%20VESTS">100SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&delegatee=minnowsupport&vesting_shares=514303.639667%20VESTS">250SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&delegatee=minnowsupport&vesting_shares=1025303.639667%20VESTS">500SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&delegatee=minnowsupport&vesting_shares=2053030.639667%20VESTS">1000SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&delegatee=minnowsupport&vesting_shares=10253030.639667%20VESTS">5000SP</a>. <br><strong>Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.</strong></p>
post_id | 68,140,718 |
---|---|
author | minnowsupport |
permlink | re-trauma-getting-free-f3612406745b6-20181231t010505z |
category | poetry |
json_metadata | {"app":"beem\/0.20.14"} |
created | 2018-12-31 01:05:06 |
last_update | 2018-12-31 01:05:06 |
depth | 1 |
children | 0 |
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last_payout | 2019-01-07 01:05:06 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
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body_length | 1,694 |
author_reputation | 104,981,098,086,561 |
root_title | "TRAUMA- GETTING FREE" |
beneficiaries | [] |
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percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 |