<center>https://therelationshipblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/why-relationships-fail.jpg</center> <br/><strong>Why relationships fail: Relationships are hard work. Let's get that statement out of the way before we start.</strong> Relationships take many years to cultivate and nurture. They aren't something that just happen overnight, and it's definitely not something you will be able to perfect over less than a few months. In fact, if you manage to find yourself in a comfortable space with your long-term partner eventually then you'll probably agree with me that relationships aren't something that you can perfect. It's an ever-shifting, ever-moulding process. The reason why relationships fail is that because 99% of the time there is a breakdown in communication. I'm a firm believer in that if there is good communication between both of you then the relationship will stand the test of time. But what do I mean by good communication? Well, it's not just about being honest with your other partner, it's also being honest with yourself too. <h2>Breakdown in communication - why relationships fail</h2> Think of it this way, would you go into a relationship if your potential other is honest and tells you that they like a bit of sleeping around at the same time whilst in a relationship? Some wouldn't see it as a problem, others would -- if you communicate your needs and desires right at the beginning, and continually throughout, then both of you will know where you stand. On our very first date, my wife told me that she wasn't into threesomes and she ejected cheaters with extreme prejudice. Some might find that scary, but I didn't, because I eject cheaters with extreme prejudice myself. I have been known to do this in the past. I knew on that very first date that we'd get along just fine. Straight talking is sometimes the best way to communicate your needs effectively, and then there's absolutely no room for movement. Why relationships fail? Straight talking isn't one of them. A couple of years ago my wife and I were going through a really bad patch. She was very depressed, as was I. It was hard to get out of the mindset of thinking that she was sitting around the house doing nothing whilst I was getting on with the work. It eventually boiled over like a witches festering cauldron and we burst into an explosive argument. After many hours of to and fro, and listening to what she had to say too, it turned out she was feeling the same way about me and had given up doing all the things we did together as a family. I made a mental note afterwards to listen to what she was saying to me too. Realising that communication is more-so about what is being said to me rather than what I was saying. <h2>Listen to each other</h2> This can be why relationships fail, because you or your partner don't feel like they are being listened to. To have good communication you need to be able to communicate your needs effectively, and also address the needs of others too. Sometimes it's also about reading between the lines and looking out for what's not being said. When this desynchronises; when two people that share the same goals try to achieve them differently and don't tell each other about it is another reason why relationships fail. She might go out and cheat on her partner because he isn't giving her the attention she craves, or he might shut down because although he isn't listening to her, she's also not listening to him. This isn't an exhaustive list but at the root, it's all the same. Communication. Honesty with them, honesty with yourself. What do I mean by being honest with yourself? Well, it's identifying every feeling that you have and communicating this to your partner. Does something not feel right? Then instead of telling your friends about it, why not approach him? The same for men, does something feel off? If so, ask her about that. Relationships are always about the finer details of life. <h2>Be honest with yourself, and your partner</h2> It's also about being honest with your partner when you need to. It's always better to tell your partner something that may hurt them now than say 20 years down the line. A lady once left a comment on a previous blog, telling me that honesty was a great concept, but her partner left her because of something that happened two years previously. On the contrary, could you imagine what would have happened if it was ten years into the relationship with a couple of children? I dread to think. Honesty is always best for all concerned in my opinion. Lack of honesty is why relationships fail, trust issues, infidelity, not listening to each other, and a whole range of other issues -- but at the bottom of it all, it's all related to bad communication. If we were all straight talking and up front about things then we would know where we stand always, right? Well, not always, but we'd have a good idea. But hey, it's easy for me to sit here and tell you all of this because I have a co-operating partner. If I'm being totally honest with you it's my wife's methods of communication that I've copied and used as my own so that we're both on the same page. What if you're trying to fix the situation but your partner isn't making any moves to do so? What if your partner is just totally not playing ball and gas-lighting you into thinking that you are the problem? Well then you go and visit a professional. You seek professional advice on how to deal with your partner's inability to listen to your needs. <h2>2019. The year of instant gratification</h2> It can also be harder in today's age of instantaneous gratification to foster long term relationships. It can be easy to shift your thinking onto the idea that a pizza is just a click away, or that you can fire up a near box office movie on your TV without needing to wait for it to come out on video; then why in the hell would you need to wait for a relationship? If most things can be sent to you overnight at just a mouse-click away, why can't a healthy and loving relationship? This is why tinder is popular, and even worse, this is why Ashley Madison is a thing, and more so a BIG reason why relationships fail. Relationships take time and a lot of effort. Yes, there will be times when you feel like it's going nowhere, and yes there will be times when you feel that your partner isn't interested in listening to you at all, but it all takes that hard work and effort from both of you. Think of it this way: Back when I was a young lad my parents would get my broken jeans and patch them over so I could carry on using them. Think of relationships as a bit like that. If you want to stick at it then it's a process that continually needs worked at. Sometimes the patchworks is going to get a little weary, but it's nothing a bit of love and care won't fix in the long term. Relationships fail for many reasons as I've stated. But we've stopped working at them. We've stopped travelling the distance with our significant others like we used to. It's not like the movies; there's no happy ending or constant buzzy butterflies feeling in your stomach. Sometimes is tough, real tough. But if you do the work then you will eventually reap the rewards! <br /><center><hr/><em>Posted from my blog with <a href='https://wordpress.org/plugins/steempress/'>SteemPress</a> : https://therelationshipblogger.com/why-relationships-fail/ </em><hr/></center>
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Thank you for supporting @CatsMakeKittens by being a part of our community @raymondspeaks. Each CATS you purchase gets you daily upvotes from me @CatScientist as our community grows so do your rewards for being a member!
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Well said Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/shuvo35)
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Thanks man :)
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They certainly can be, that's for sure..
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Hard, you mean? :)
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<center>Congratulations @raymondspeaks! This post has been featured in today's [Power House Creatives]( https://steemit.com/@steemitbloggers) curation post! You can find the community announcement on Discord :) and it has also been shared on our [FB Page]( https://www.facebook.com/steemitbloggersint/) and [Twitter feed]( https://twitter.com/@steemitbloggers). <center>![PHC-Footer-05.gif](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZMTckzqpfBShZSELLFNotjm43vJfjg79Ynz4ndB3i86a/PHC-Footer-05.gif)</center> </center>
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<center> This post was curated by @theluvbug and has received an upvote and a resteem to hopefully generate some ❤ ***extra love*** ❤ for your post! <sub>[JOIN ME ON TWITTER](www.twitter.com/theluvbug80)</sub> ![myluvbug.gif](https://cdn.steemitstageimages.com/DQmb7MN8GHXm8DUT9n3K2D4bDB6wHBKF13UMz1TW8UKdv7o/myluvbug.gif) In Proud Collaboration with [The Power House Creatives](https://steemit.com/@steemitbloggers) and their founder @jaynie ![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQ7jf6MkzatRDpaXeAUbbXzn1TxVhW5tofjFy2yNig5Fv/image.png) [JOIN US HERE](https://discord.gg/uRHNP3G) <sub>[FOLLOW US ON TWITTER](https://twitter.com/steemitbloggers)</sub> </center>
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So true. There are up and downs, misunderstandings and it is really hard to keep a relationship. I believe that the more it goes through fire the outcome would be a beautiful gem.
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I think you're right - ours has been through the grinder mate lol
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Relationships are give and take, a bit of me a bit of you, lots of communication. Once the communication connection is broken it takes double the effort to repair. !tip
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Yes! And that goes for both sides :)
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In my opinion, partners in romantic relationships need to pay attention if they want the relationship to succeed and be long lasting. I think relationships generally get stale. People have an inclination to *blend in* with daily occurrences and the daily routine at home is just that; a routine. Most people adjust to routines and their lives become mostly a senseless, mindless existence. This brings boredom. Whenever either partner in a relationship feels bored with their surroundings and activity, trouble for that relationship isn't far away. It's so *easy* to become bored in a relationship, and if one partner is comfortable with the routine and the other isn't, then they're likely to have an urge to get some enjoyment in their life some other way.
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That's why I say keep it exciting! :) - get a hobby or a new interest :)
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Wow.... This is exceptional, I mean have thought relationships to be hard work but reading your write up confirms it all. Communication is key to a working relationship.... Scary for me sometimes though, Thank you for sharing this with us, it is worth thinking about. Have a good day @raymondspeaks . Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/bliss11)
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Thank you for saying that! I appreciate it :)
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I think that communication is definitely the basis of any relationship, whether it's father and son, between siblings, at work, that's the only thing that makes us effective. The rest comes in addition
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Absolutely right :)
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Effective communication is the key to every successful relationship. It's like you were writing from my mind.
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I say this all the time :)
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@raymondspeaks - very sound information. Communication can also tell you when it's time to let it go. I communicated to my first husband of 28 years that I didn't like living with a drunk, and he communicated to me that he didn't like life sober - so..... I'm now I'm married to @crypt-skip and life is good!
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Good! Glad you finally got some happiness in the end :)
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Your words are like speaking through my mind. I've been feeling separated from my hubby lately and been trying to find a reason as to why this is happening to me. But I'm glad I know the reason and am working towards repairing it before it gets out of hand
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Hoping so! Try listening to him and see if he responds to that. I did the same with my missus and it made me realise I hadn't been listening to her either
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So much of this rings true to me, and makes me sad - my marriage only lasted 27 years. But was that a failed relationship? I like to think not, a lot of good came from it too. Perhaps if I had been more honest in the beginning we would not have gotten married in the first place. I love the jean metaphor.
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I'm a firm believer in that we can extract positive from every person we meet -- even the horrible relationships. So yeah, 27 years is longer than most people make it these days. Jean metaphor? :)
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Hello! This post has been manually curated, resteemed and gifted with some virtually delicious cake from the @helpiecake curation team! Much love to you from all of us at @helpie! Keep up the great work! <a href="http://steemit.com/@helpie"> ![helpiecake](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPXA56YrF9QSdEFkAMsrFJqS9ywEPgUMXfHZibu5WtVxH/Lemon-Mousse-Cake_2.png) </a> Manually curated by @niallon11. <sub> @helpie is a [Community Witness](https://steemitwallet.com/~witnesses). </sub>
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It is good to work on your relationship, as it is good to let go when you feel it's time. Both paths eventually demand you learn to love yourself so all is good :)
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Hi. Thank for your post. You are correct in that communication is the key to a successful relationship. Without it, you can't relay your feelings, desires, hopes, or dreams not only for yourself but for each other.
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Of course good and open communication goes hand in hand with respect for the self and for the other. Essential for the health of a relationship. A very good post here my friend. Blessings!
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Thank god that I have a great relationship
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A number of years ago, when I was just out of college and starting a career, I used to chat with the old fellow who was the daytime custodian of the building I worked in. He was such a great fellow, very patient, always happy, and always willing to help by sharing the knowledge he acquired over the years. He told me once that he defined love as 'sacrifice.' I think there's a lot of truth to that. Certainly communication is key, but communication without the sacrifice that a relationship requires will still leave at least one half of the relationship feeling put out.
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Great post and insights, @raymondspeaks. It definitely takes listening and patience to get through the rough Spots. You did such a nice job of illustrating your points with real life stories.
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<center>***Thanks for sharing your experience with us***! <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/P5nkXgK2/Logo2-300.png" alt="TIBLogo" style="border:none;" /></center> ###### You have been curated by @freedomtowrite on behalf of **Inner Blocks**: a community encouraging first hand content, with each individual living their best life, and being responsible for their own well being. #innerblocks Check it out at @innerblocks for the latest information and community updates, or to show your support via delegation.
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