![benjamin-balazs-61871.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmR7TxNhNJ3RhoBLwrwbnBJHqGBNUY4ssYdR1KDEFqLmYt/benjamin-balazs-61871.jpg)
Photo by Benjamin Balázs on Unsplash

Just when we think we're making progress sometimes something will come up to test us.   Sometimes we're blindsided.  Sometimes we're triggered.  We are not perfect and it's *perfectly natural* to want to string someone up for transgressing against us.  We may want to get revenge, call the person out in a way that makes them look really bad or any number of ways our twisted minds can come up with to make them see how wrong and bad they are.  And they are wrong and bad, there is not doubt about that.  But how we respond has lasting repercussions for ourselves and others so let's break this down.

# Breathe,  Take a Step Back and Don't React

This is the first step and the most important...it also can be done at any time.  If you are reading this and you've already reacted negatively you can turn it around.  Wherever you find yourself when drama comes your way take a step back.  This is  a form of self-care.  Practicing self restraint is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.  If this is a skill you need to develop develop  plan to get you through it.  It may be talking to a trusted friend and letting them know that you want to slow things down and think things through until you get to a place where you know unequivocally that you are on a stepping stone of your growth rather than the receiving end of someone's ignorance.   Engage in loving acts for yourself then the rest will come much easier.  Always have compassion for yourself first.  

![a-shuhani-541.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRyatNVfppuX12eZrYVNCh5krsMBn2vL5nv8cYrE7spDD/a-shuhani-541.jpg)
Photo by a-shuhani on Unsplash

# Develop Wisdom By Taking Your Attention Off of the Problem

One of the best ways to stop ruminating over an injury and the pain someone has caused you is to do something to help someone else.  Is there a friend that would love to receive a letter or a card from you?  Are there volunteer opportunities available to you?  Have you been looking for people here on Steemit you can uplift with a comment?  While we are engaging in acts of kindness it gives our mind a signal that whatever solutions may be available we are in alignment with evolving ourselves in a positive way thus developing wisdom.

![tim-goedhart-334149.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQme1HmimjmJadXmrqqqeKA2m8KhVAGyhh7iuHvs4GWNnQU/tim-goedhart-334149.jpg)
Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash

# Others Are Watching

There are always people observing us and taking in the things we say and do.  We are all interconnected and we may think we are alone in things but we are not.  Every day of our lives we affect each person we encounter and that person in turn affects the people they encounter and so it goes on and on and on.  Just this one truth alone can transform our lives because if we can think ahead a few steps beyond that person that has either harmed us is annoying us or whatever and if it is too hard to have compassion for them in the moment perhaps we can have compassion for the people they will meet.  It's always easy to breathe, walk away and say nothing knowing we are doing our best.  Later we will feel the effects inside ourselves knowing we are doing our part in making the world a better place.

![tim-marshall-114623.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUkdVoKgkib84vuiWkDiSJfCX33wNy99Cgu9PmJJKhLL1/tim-marshall-114623.jpg)
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

What do you think?

![biophoto.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTmbo86gZJqNHs5N8b39G6F6KeLVR31pwiPyQwvuHBHqM/biophoto.jpg)
*@soulsistashakti is a musical artist and writer based in NYC. You can check out my music on my FB artist page at https://www.facebook.com/soulsistashakti*