http://imgur.com/swfJV7d.jpg

Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy. Do you do that? I don't think I am but then, how would I know?

I spend and have spent a great deal of time and effort throughout my life working hard for very little gain. I always seem to be chasing. Do you chase too?

The chase sometimes seems endless but other times the end is just at the fingertips. I have never got a good hold on it though. Something always seems to happen that puts more distance between me and it again. Are you comfortable there?

I wonder what it feels like to have no money worries, to know you can always pay the bills. Yes, there are more stresses than not enough money in this world but just scraping by makes all of those worse too. I know, you?

I wonder if this is by design. Am I a fool for working hard, trying my best? Am I playing into their game? What do you think? 

In many respects I am lucky, I have a lovely wife and beautiful daughter but this makes it much worse. Don't they deserve the best in life? I am not it, I have no illusions about that.

So, I continue to do my best, lacking as it seems to be. Early mornings to scramble for a day job, late nights here at Steemit, trying to improve myself to improve my results. Improve for them and for me. Do you do the same?

It seems so easy for some. Life seems to flow. I don't experience that often. When I do, I am writing, working, wiping the sweat from my brow. Do you work like this too?

I think the investment is worth it but often I wonder if here too it is like the walking world where I work and chase, it always just out of reach. Looking to others as inspiration for where I could be too. Just a little more work, a little less sleep. I'll get there one day. Or will I?

Perhaps I am not cut from the right cloth to be successful in this community. Perhaps my hard work is poor work, but how can I tell? Do you know? I do the best I can. Don't you? 

Is there ever a time where the best one can do is enough or is it always compared to another? Someone better. If the indicator for success was effort would the world look different? Who'd be at the top? Me, you or still them?

I ramble a lot, maybe I am crazy.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]

The photo is from La Rambla in Barcelona. See? My namesake.