http://i.imgur.com/KUlCqDN.jpg

When I came to Finland I was surprised by how many women had mullets. Just in case you are unfamiliar, a mullet is a style of hair that is short at the front and long at the back that was popular around 1984.

Style is a personal preference of course but I wonder what makes us hold onto a style and make it like a personal trademark. 

In the case of the above hair style, nearly all women observed are in the age that they would have been 18-25 in the mid eighties. I imagine the story goes something like this:

There she is in the bar with her brand new, latest fashion hairdo. A cute guy comes up to her and says, 'I really love your hair, it looks really good on you. Can I get you a drink?' And from that day on she connects the hairdo with looking and feeling attractive and desirable. 

For me, I got my ear pierced when I was 12. It was Christmas day and my sister in-law did it in her salon. When I met my wife she hated it and wanted me to take it out whenever we met her parents. I made quite a fuss about it as after all, I have had it for a quarter century.

I had begun to identify myself with an earring, as if it was a part of me. Quite ridiculous. Over six months ago I took it out. It was time. The funny thing was that after all of the complaining from my wife, she didn't notice for three months that I had removed it. She had got so accustomed to it being there that even when it wasn't, it still was. 

I have always found this interesting that so many of us are unwilling to shave a beard or change a style of glasses frame. I think it talks volumes as to our actual unwillingness to change or experiment with ourselves. We seem scared to do anything that will challenge people's expectations of us, so we stagnate instead. 

Perhaps we think that if we change, their acceptance of us will end. Perhaps if we don't change it will end too. We can't guarantee anyone's acceptance or continued acceptance of us, so why bother trying to meet their expectations? 

I have seen some of those makeover shows where they restyle hair and clothes and how dramatic the difference can be. Their posture and the look in their eyes changes when they see themselves in the mirror cleaned up, refreshed.

I think this can happen inside too. I wonder how many ancient beliefs we hold onto thinking they are who we are, how many processes we fear to let go of even though they no longer benefit our needs, how many emotions we carry though the moments have long passed? Like Al Bundy being quarterback at Polk High, the old glory days may be long gone but while trying to hold onto them, all of the new one's don't have a chance to grow and shine.

I would like to see that show. The show where they take a person and strip their mind of outdated information and beliefs and redress it in what empowers them to perform at their best so that when they look in the mirror, they see what they are truly capable of. See how much they have to offer the world by exploring their potential and passions. See what truly lays within them. 

Do you have anything that you identify with that you would fear letting go of?

Taraz
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