Hi hello again! Its often that I blog now and I don't know why. I just feel that I have so much to share with you.
Last night, my mind couldn't resist anymore but to reach him out in chat. I'd been thinking to do that since Saturday but I hesitated and it was just yesterday night I found out how would I approach him. I started it with, "hey I didn't know that you unfriended me in facebook. I just found out now and I didn't expect that was your understanding about parted ways. I offered my friendship and his sissy is always here for him if ever he needs me.
I show kindness because he has been so good to me. Its true that I like him, and he likes me. He said he loves me, but all I feel for today is he's just pressure due to time and his age. I can't say I love him but I care for him now and happy with his company. He demands time with me and invested efforts to my family. Unfortunately, as of today, I'm looking for a job and that's my priority, but other than this, it's hard for me to give him time now due to pandemic. It's hard for me to go outside the house unless I would tell here the truth about us.
In my heart, I really appreciate his time & efforts. I want to see him happy. I want to make him happy. But I cannot consistently commit to the time he demands to me and the places he wants me to bring. So I chose to parted ways. God knows how I want to give us a chance. But I cannot convince him to understand me because his goal is to have his own family before his 50th.
I lift it to God about us. To guide us each of our journey especially in love. I know His Plans are much beautiful than ours. Much beautiful more than how we wanted to happen.
I like his support. I like how he uplifts me. But for today, I am gathering for courage and confidence in myself, in order to be get ready for God's Plan for me. I don't want to say how I feel for him again, because I think he knows it na. Just that, I will let God do the works for us, and I need more time to confirm if I really love him or I'm just in love with the idea of being in love. I don't like to make him feel that I'm paasa. However, if he is truly God gave me, wherever and whenever we go in separate ways, God still will find its way for us to be back again.
As of now, I am asking if I could help him searching for the lucky girl because I really want to see him happy. Knowing how much he taught me to become more closer to God, how he tells me that those negative words I heard from my behind is not truth and definitely not my future. His urge to tell me that God is more powerful makes me feel more he deserves someone who could light up his life more. So I'm praying for his lovelife to God.