Falling in love with someone gets more difficult everyday. So many issues have been tagged to falling in love that the process which used to be more of a sponateous combustion, is now a mathematical equation. People are now expected to calculate all the variables before they look at each other and say; yes I can fall in love with you now. 

<center>![IMG_20180624_072851_127.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRVvY7p8ATLyNo7gRVXzHAPWbKJfwLhuL6WdUshdfEVTK/IMG_20180624_072851_127.jpg)</center><center><sub>*[Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash. Writing by me.](https://unsplash.com/photos/DziZIYOGAHc)*</sub></center>

There are people who believe in true love, love at first sight, love despite the odds and all the romantic notions that Hollywood loves to feed us as real. I wonder how such folks function in this our new world. How can they see a woman or a man on the street and say this is the one then find out that as a result of this and that, they cannot be together. 

This has nothing to do with personality now. It is not about character. This is about variables that are outside the mind of man. Every day, I hear people say that they are not about physical features; they want someone in their lives who understand them, who has a great mind, who would treat them with respect, trust them and be honest to them. 

All these are stuff out of the person's personality or character, it has nothing to do with his or her body. Yet when it's time to commit, variables that have to do with physical features and issues that are social come to play and all those characteristics that  used to be so important fly out of the window. 

These issues used to be few but nowadays more and more keep popping up. It is like the earth is saying don't fall in love, don't get married, don't have babies. 

First it has to be the right age. My society frowns at a girl or a guy attracted to an older opposite sex. She is either a gold digger or he is a pedophile. She has no sense of herself,  no respect, he is a gigolo and so on. 

It has to be the right sex. You dare not fall in love with your own sex; God forbid. Since society is the judge of us all, then how we are attracted is now beholden to what society wants and what she considers as right. You'd get judged and crucified right before your family and in some cases your family will be the one doing the judging and the crucifying. It is what it is. 

Then there's religion. Since everyone's religion has the route to eternal bliss scripted into their gospel, every other religion is a deception. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a Christian to love a Moslem no matter how well mannered or nice he or she may be. Girls have been ostracised by family members for loving outside her religion. Yes,  you know this. 

We will not forget finances. If you are broke, love is not for you, my friend even if you are a gentleman who listens to her, rubs her feet when she is tired and open car doors for her. She wants a man that handles a job, can pay the rent, can afford to take her out once in a while. You need a job to get love. 

What about genotype, rhesus factor, blood type? You have to be the right one or else no loving. You will either get a sickle cell baby or get miscarriages all of your marital life if you dare to fall in love with the wrong type. So nowadays, after you have loved a man or woman for a long time, you are asked to part ways at the hospital just before your wedding because by the power of gene, the almighty power of blood groups and so on, you are not compatible. 
 
<center>![IMG_20180624_073343_823.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRm7V12xDesqbxQo7ixRnyHnuYP8gw4HqAhpcyEMDapFV/IMG_20180624_073343_823.jpg)</center><center><sub>*[Photo by Radka Kocanova on Unsplash. Cropped by me.](https://unsplash.com/photos/uewcZ3RWJO8)*</sub></center>

There are more of such variables but what am I saying? There are so much dos and don'ts in falling in love these days that it is no longer a natural feeling. Love is now a deliberate action. 

People check records before falling in love; 
financial status-√
Sexuality-√
Religious leanings-√
Ethnicity-√
Race-√
Educational qualification-√
Rhesus factor-√
Genotype-√
Physical features-√

There's so much to check off on the list before you can find love it feels like you are applying for a visa to the United States. You'd feel like you are applying for a loan at the bank or for a job. It sucks, really. 

I do not say that this checklist is ultimately wrong or right, that is not my intention here. I believe that some of these variables are important. I am not saying that everyone is guilty of this practice but someone definitely is. Someone has walked away from a great relationship because of such factors. It is just sad. 

A girl and I parted ways when she realized she was AS. She wept but she left. Love could not conquer that. Is it selfish to want to marry a woman who is HIV positive like you because you love her? After all there are chances that the child of that union will be positive. Would love be able to handle that constant pressure?

Will you be able to watch your baby fall sick as a result of sickle cell anemia when you knew you could have avoided it by not falling in love? But then again, can we choose who we fall in love with? I think we can and we do. 

That girl I told you about earlier on? She is married now to another guy. Am I mad about it? No am not. She had to fall out of love for me then fall in love with the guy or something. I don't know but it just sucks,  doesnt it? 
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A time will come when a social institution will be created to allocate partners for relationships and procreational purposes. We would be closer to this awesome dystopian as George Orwell's 1984 portrayed or as Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale implied, than we care to realise. We are slowly letting science and religion determine our lives. We are losing our rights to choose, to determine our own destiny. 

<center>![IMG_20180624_073911_874.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXhjcArHT28nwEm5T9kE4k6JrNo9DekZfMRZn33KiveCF/IMG_20180624_073911_874.jpg)</center><center><sub>*[Photo by Levi Jones on Unsplash. Edited by me.](https://unsplash.com/photos/n0CTq0rroso)*</sub></center>

But hey it is not a bad thing or is it? This is not a wrong thing, we are saving lives here. Following these variables means lives being saved, means less pain for couples in the long term, so it is not a bad thing after all. 

When you place human lives beside emotions, you'd find that emotions are a distant 100. Love can be nurtured in a loveless relationship but a child that is HIV positive is not going to be nurtured to health. 

We are falling in love every day hoping that he or she is the right one but medicine don't care and that is what it is. Should we stop loving? No! Sometimes that is all we have when the day comes to an end.  Do we ignore these variables? No! We should talk about them more and look at the implications on the human race because it would seem that love is costing a lot these days. 

I don't know if I made sense but it's Sunday, I am on my bed, the weather is chilly and I have been thinking. Enjoy your day, don't let me spoil it for you. Peace. 
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<center>*©warpedpoetic, 2018.*</center>
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