Dear Diary by weirdheadaches

$1.04

Dear Diary

Im hurting bad. I dont know what to do. Its affecting my brain, my central nervous system, all my chakras are closing, the blood is not flowing well, neck, skull, sinuses,eyes, whole body.

I have been suffering every waking moment for almost 12 years now. The worst part is head/brain. One bad emotion can wreck havoc on my whole being. This is not who i am.

Ive whole heartedly tried everything in my power to heal or at minimum to find out what is going on. Id really like to write a book but im F'd up.

Just talking about symptoms intensifies them and im finding it difficult to communicate w anyone. Ive been tracking this shit on all levels. Physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual and i have no idea what I'm dealing with.

Ive had a million chiropractiors, acupuncturist, neuro cranial restructuring, laser therapy, million different massages, lots a bullshit pills, alternative herbs, neurologists, doctors, creams, yoga, weight lifting, Wim Hoff breathing/cold showers, meat only diet, fasted 23 days, keto for 2 years, & the list truly goes on.

My life has been destroyed. And i dont entertain this subject much but its hard to deny. And the new worst is not being able to interact w my kid the way or as much as i want.

The most hilarious thing about it all is sometimes i look halfway normal so no one takes me serious. Here i am almost touching death, handicaped as fuck and no one is buying it. Then, i get hassled about not being normal.

I dont know how this fate touched me. Im tired, im worn out & i have no love or relief. Pain is all see.

Im present with it. Ill see it through one way or another. Bullet thoughts entertain the brain often although thats not me either. What is life if its 99% suffering?

![20180720_190636.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbjDS48i3P5sizvZeZpbDy5y7wDxKCfaGmXT71UjZEia3/20180720_190636.jpg)

👍 canadian-coconut, frankbacon, elementm, cathynsons, freemoceanisnow, sbi7, factism, delegate4upvot, nailyourhome, fun2learn, silentlucidity

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@frankbacon · Dec 9 '18

The realizations seem to always come about 2 milliseconds before the knees hit the floor.  Sometimes I'd just go dark for days.  Don't forget your progress.  You've already passed along great content for someone with similar struggles...  Build the 1% up...  Make it count.

![Bacon WAW.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUtYmCBMhErvHa4t6rkZ1Quh1THuVhErpb5PdsrwErcxH/Bacon%20WAW.jpg)

👍 weirdheadaches

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@weirdheadaches · Dec 10 '18

Thanks Bruv.

I wish i knew more about what youve been through. Of course i see youve seen the darkness. Much love

👍 frankbacon

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@frankbacon · Dec 10 '18

I wish I knew more about what I've been through as well...

But reading about your torments and struggles is harrowing enough.
I believe you're getting close to completion with your ordeals...
though it's never truly over.

![They.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmV2BUmSXUGiPWM2JuRcsnfnS4oYm3cCAMuGD7AGnGor1Y/They.jpg)

👍 weirdheadaches

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1 reply