Hi Ren...
I lived some bad times long time ago, it doesn’t mean all is pinky today but, as you, I had to manage depressing situations related to beloved ones passing away and some health issues.
To be honest I must admit that I had to reach the bottom to jump up for the surface... but I did. It’s just that, jumping, taking momentum and doing it.
It was the vision of a famished  street dog looking for something to eat and it’s effort or eagerness on doing it what called my attention. Then I thought to myself “if this one that’s almost skin and bone is just fighting to survive, why shouldn’t I?”
That thought awakened my survival instinct and I could find the strength to start again with my life... if you don’t care of yourself , who’s gonna do it?
I will be very watchful with your actifit accomplishments  so you better do it lol 
Big hugs and love over there ❤️