@luke490
I feel what you're saying.  The current system needs work.  
Obviously if you don't have the strength to fight, then you flee.
Also though, I 100% advocate befriending the other side. 
If you feel like you even should be involved at all, be involved as the peacemaker, not the warrior.  
Try to look at the whole situation through both of their eyes and see if you can find where the disconnect is.  Then reconnect them.

Using your example, I don't think @r4fken is a bad person.  I think what he's doing with the flagging is bad.  I counter that by upvoting when I can.  However he appears to be trying to make a statement about censorship.  He feels unfairly targeted.  I get that, but targeting innocent users does not help his cause.

@fyrstikken is another example.  He said some really messed up things.  You can't just say, "yeah that's just fyrstikken" and excuse it.  Even he can't say that.
On the other hand, he clearly presumed something was set in stone while heidi walked away from the exact same conversation with a completely different belief.
Men and women do think about these things differently.

Men tend to assume if they don't say no it must be yes.
Women  tend to assume that if they don't say yes, then it must be no.
As I said before here is a helpful tutorial on this to avoid the problem in the future...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I
In short...
Guys, only yes means yes.
Girls, men cannot read your mind.  Say no if it's a no and be explicit with no room for debate.  If you don't do that, then you will hurt someone's feelings.
 
No one here is a monster.  We're all people.  We all have issues.  Many of us have lashed out unfairly.  Just look at the apology I found myself making to @veralynn a few weeks ago for a prime example.  Despite being my most public apology, she was not my first and I can tell you now, she isn't going to be my last.  Yet I consider her an actual friend now too.

At some point, someone has to decide there has been enough bloodshed, or repshed or whatever we call it.  Someone has to stop it.  The best way to stop it, is by being the first one to stop and then turning the tables around and finding out what the other side needs.

That may require viewing your opponent as a real human being, with real feelings who is hurting.
Which honestly, is the scariest and hardest part of any of this.