RE: Which do you prefer; African method of child discipline where parents has rights over minors or European of free liberty :Why? by iamthegray

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· @iamthegray ·
>It seems my children will be well behaved, adjusted and good people, that are kind

I'm inclined to think that's because you try to instill those values into their core rather than boss them around and hit them when they don't act right. 

In Africa, it's pretty standard for parents to harass and intimidate their children. They don't see it that way though. They believe every child is 'foolish' and needs to be told what to do (enforced with beatings)

Well, for me, it's harassment and intimidation. Such children often apply such to others as they grow up. Why? Because their parents thought them (albeit indirectly), that the only way to make someone do 'what's right' is to coerce them  (probably  explains why we have more physical violence here when we disagree. Everyone resorts to violence and rather than reason) 

At the end, we have folks that listen more to intuition than logic. It's why they keep electing bad leaders, cultivate the poverty mentality, still hold on to superstitious beliefs and allow other people to control their thought processes.

They grew up with someone telling them what to do. When they leave the home, they look for someone to fill that vacuum
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@hefziba ·
You are a very wise young man.  Are you like this despite your parents upbringing or because of their upbringing?

I do realise that I am in a luxury position. We have no real problems in our lives. No money problems, no health problems. Free education for our children. No army duty.  and a good healthcare, though becoming more and more expensive, but I can afford it. If you have enough money ( I am not super rich, but belong to the upper middleclass), lots of problems, are not a real problem.

I somehow believe that if you are brought up in poverty and constant problems, and even danger, it is much more difficult as a parent to be rational, because of the stress. Its not an excuse, but I do understand it.

I also believe that parenting will become (generation by generation)better when everybody gets a good education (until 16-18 years of age), inclusive woman, especially woman. With knowledge comes the possibility to understand that children aren't foolish, that you are empowered to choose the right person in power, and understand that witchcraft is bullshit, that mental illnesses  or disabilities are not shameful, but treatable in a society where you can talk about it. Still, here in the West, it isn't perfect. And I am ashamed to say that people are getting polarised, and more violent against each other, and violence at home is also on the rise again. The # met movement showed there is still a lot of sexual abuse as well. 

 This is all happening in a time that the world actually has the capacity to feed everybody, to educate everybody, where equality is possible.
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@iamthegray ·
$0.02
>You are a very wise young man. Are you like this despite your parents upbringing or because of their upbringing?

Thanks. 

I don't know how to answer that. Lemme say I once told my sister that our parents raised us like dogs. Maybe that's too much but you get my perception of how my parents raised us. By the way, it's pretty standard over here so my sister didn't quite agree with me

>I somehow believe that if you are brought up in poverty and constant problems, and even danger, it is much more difficult as a parent to be rational, because of the stress.

That's funny. It's the very thing I use to say over here. Especially poverty. 

>With knowledge comes the possibility to understand that children aren't foolish, that you are empowered to choose the right person in power, and understand that witchcraft is bullshit, that mental illnesses or disabilities are not shameful, but treatable in a society where you can talk about it.

Spot on. Especially the mental illness part. 

The issue isn't that people don't go to school. (I'm not sure of the statistics but I think Nigerians have one of the highest number of degree holders). It's that they go to school simply to get a job. They don't think!!!! 

They don't sieve facts from truths (like when a politician is using facts to tell lies). The school doesn't make much sense as most of them are cramming school. As long as you get good results you're okay. 

I remember two folks ran mad on campus recently. People were saying it was demonic possession. I'm talking about students who were going to graduate that year. 

Thankfully, some folks investigated and found out the students mixed weed and coffee together (it was exam period) 

Enough of my rant

I'm out
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