I wouldn't go that extreme with plans but I get what you're saying. Women perform best when you are not so invested in them. When they see that you have other things going for you in life, it is only then they want your validation. If everything is about her, she will lose attraction to you (despite her complaints that you don't spend enough time with her). The most important thing in my opinion is to have sufficient self awareness. When you know yourself, you make your own choices based on your own intuition and thinking and it pays off in the end.