As a mother of 3, I can relate to this post!
And eggs with runny yolks - my niece baffled me with a request for "Dip Eggs." What the heck are Dip Eggs? Runny yolks so you can dip your toast in! She seemed to wonder what planet I come from, but I wonder where SHE came from, 'cause I've heard nobody else say that. My dad likes his eggs "Walking, not running," which is exactly how I like 'em, or did, before learning I'm allergic to milk AND eggs AND gluten. 
No comment on the suctioning and siphoning of toddlers.....!!! Eeek! Been there.