You know when you told me you're evil, I'd thought it was a passive statement...  Now i know better. 
>Okay, I wanted my roommate dead a while ago. Well, not dead. But if she had dropped dead, preferably under circumstances that could in no wise be traced to me: Electrocution, Abortion complications, a hit-and-run, I would have received the news with a detached calm. I would have said ‘eyah’ (which is the Nigerian equivalent of a ‘how sad’ that could be sarcastic, not sarcastic, or both.

 >Her panties are hung on this hook at the very entrance, and so I cannot let the guys that come on evangelism visits in. I’d have to move them, you see, hide them, in true female solidarity. But man, they aren’t the sort of things I’d like to touch with a ten-foot pole. And that’s great! It’s no nuisance if nothing escapes from her Black Acre to my White Acre. Another concept I learned from Leeds professor. And then, she just did stuff that made me conclude she must be reasoning with her left buttock.

>And these are the bases on which my irritation at her existence stands. Not sufficient for wanting her dead, you may say? I realise this now. I wish I could throw in something heavy, like sexual harassment or insanity. Unfortunately, this is all I’ve got.

You're incredibly terrible 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂