Viewing a response to: @phoenixwren/on-family-history-and-lifestyle-choices
There's enough to do in life that you don't have to worry about defining yourself by the things you don't do. But I totally get that people might misunderstand and think you're judging them. I think it's because a lot of former drinkers and addicts define their whole life by their sobriety. Good for them if it works, but I've always thought it was kind of sad they didn't have anything else. I go through phases with alcohol. My father was a paranoid schizophrenic alcoholic who I never got to know, so for a long time I avoided in entirely. Then I tried some and felt elated, energized, relaxed, happy... That sense of *is this how normal people feel? No wonder they're not depressed...* Then I was scared by how good it felt. It took me a good ten years to realize I *wasn't* an alcoholic. Now, if there's booze in the house I'll have a couple drinks every night until it's gone, and then do without for months because I hate shopping so much that a stop at the liquor store is more trouble than it's worth.
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I think it has come up so much for me for a few reasons. I came of age in a neighborhood rather rife with drugs and booze, so it was everywhere and me not joining in was noted. I somehow always fall in with a stoner crowd? LOL. We tend to vibe in the crunchy granola hippies way and it's just that I don't consume. And finally, I come off as a goody two shoes. I don't know why, tbh - people act shocked when I *swear*, which is hilarious because I swear all the time. So I cause a lot of confusion I guess because people are expecting Jesus Loves Me but they're getting a sober Pagan who cusses like a sailor. The Pagan part is a huge point of confusion for people, too, because they literally think we're all having drugged out sex rituals and sacrificing living creatures (for the record, I have never done that or seen anyone do that, lol. But I *have* been asked if I do). So apparently I just send very confusing signals, and it gets commented upon. Nobody ever reads me for queer either, but I am queer as a snowstorm in July. 😂
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