A Bit of Rambling on Drugs, High School and My Past by calaber24p

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· @calaber24p · (edited)
$224.25
A Bit of Rambling on Drugs, High School and My Past
Ill be completely honest, im still a bit disturbed and shocked, so if it feels like im rambling I apologize. I figured the best way to help myself feel a bit better was to write about it, so here I go. Someone I went to high school with and was actually quite fond of overdosed this morning. He was a nice kid, but as far back as I could remember had a problem with drugs and alcohol. In high school, although I never was into drugs, I hung out around kids who were, mostly because they didnt have high expectations for themselves or their future. It was a nice change from the average know it all who was constantly bragging about their GPAs or achievements.

<center>https://www.centeronaddiction.org/sites/default/files/inline-addiction-drugs-img%281%29.png</center>

High school was also a rough time for me with anxiety and my grades suffering because of it. I guess I liked hanging around with the kids who everyone considered fuck ups because I felt like a fuck up myself. I never had a problem with these kids because while many times they were drunk in class or were getting high during the day, they were generally nice people. In the end regardless of status, as long as you are a nice person im usually willing to be your friend. So for four years, they were the types of people I liked to talk with, to sit with at lunch and overall they were pretty accepting. 

Admittedly my active friend group from high school is very small so many of the people that I spend time with, I havent seen in a while. My brother though has been friends with a few of them through mutual friends of his so I would get updates on how some of them were doing. The one who passed away was having a hard time. He was into hard drugs and I knew he was having a rough time of it. He was actively trying and failing to quit, but ultimately was unsuccessful. I don't feel guilty because I think I could have done something, but a small part of me feels guilty because I hadnt seen him in a while.


<center>http://www.mentalhealthy.co.uk/sites/default/files/resize/Addiction-300x232.jpg</center>


There is a problem with harder drugs in our country, specifically addictions to them being escalated through prescription drugs. Theres an opioid crisis going on, but today I dont really feel like talking much about it in detail. Whether or not you consider addiction an illness or just something people have, it affected him and he wasnt able to move forward. Ultimately he lost his life fighting the battle. I wish there was something that could break the spell that these drugs have on people like him, but mostly sheer willpower is the only thing that works.

To them the need to use is as strong as the need to eat when youve gone all day without food. Its such a human impulse that just wants to make you feel happy and incredibly hard to fight. You can see the pain in these peoples lives. They dont want to be addicted, they want to be free of a drug that has a hold on them. They know it will eventually cost them their lives if they dont stop and every day is an uphill battle. Theres not much that can be done for my friend now, but theres still time for others. I dont know the answer to this problem, im as in the dark as anyone else. I can only hope that my friend is in pain no longer. Maybe well meet again. 

-Calaber24p
πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 9 others
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vote details (73)
@cgbartow ·
$0.45
Dealing with anixiety and depression throughout life can make people turn to the worst. We have to be there support and communities around them have to build and intervene. In the U.S. Opiod's are running crazy and I see this down turn on society living in the City of Detroit and many other major areas. Prayer and support and hoping for the best.
πŸ‘  ,
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@calaber24p ·
Yeah the opioid crisis in the US right now is crazy. I live in an area that isnt even as badly affected as some other places. I cant imagine how Detroit is handling it. Appreciate the support.
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@abdullahshoaib ·
There should be a proper vigilance way to control the drug situation at the high school level, whatever your role always be positive in every matter of life, actually i like your way of expressing, and wanna see more in future, should be follow you and want you to be the same, keep sharing and keep in touch.
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@reynakarina ·
The post is very good @calaber24p, it can be a very good motivation for everyone who visited in your post. I've also experienced what you told me when I was in school. I love this story, reminding me of my school days. Thanks for sharing... :)
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@trendo ·
$0.33
I know a few friends who are also consistently taking drugs mostly every day. They know it's a problem, they know it might kill them, but they still do it. I simply can't figure out why is to hard to quit drugs. I've never been addicted to any drugs so I couldn't know, but it seems to me that the events taking place in their lives make them use those drugs as a way to escape the reality they live in.
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@calaber24p ·
Yeah its really hard once you are addicted to quit. Think of how hard it would be to fast for a week. To them thats what a day feels like. At first the allure is the escape, later that escape is a hell they cant break free from.
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@beforandafter ·
Drugs are defined as substances that negatively affect the body's functions,
Treated for non-medical or therapeutic purposes, And cause serious and unexpected effects, and depends on the impact of the body on several factors; The type and quantity of the consumed material, in addition to the place and time of use, The multiplicity of species consumed and their integration together, and the individual differences between persons such as the health status and physical structure of the abuser
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@milano1113 ·
$0.71
I’m sure you already feel better when you hit the β€œPOST” button. 
Many of us went through these challenges, as long as we learned from them we will be fine. Unfortunately not everybody is so lucky, just read the news and you hear these tragic stories every day. 
Great post!
Resteemed!
πŸ‘  
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@calaber24p ·
Thanks milano, I took the day mostly just relaxed and thought about things. Thanks for the support.
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@whohow36 ·
$0.12
I have experienced same stuff brother!!
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@nobutsd ·
Very cool post brother! Maybe check out the discord addiction recovery chat room some time!
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@kaysar07 ·
Any person's foundation is developed from the school level, those who use the school level well, their future will be well-cut.
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@steemfirst ·
$0.23
I tell you my brother,you know addiction is something  that you cannot just stop at once otherwise you automatically sending the person to the graveyard.one of the best way to treat any addiction is by lowering the number of dozes such person can take within a week ,day or even an hour.Let say am addicted to smoking cigratte to the extent that takes up to  5 stick of cigratte a day .the best way to handle it is to start lowering the number let say 3 stick per day until it get to one stick then you can move to not taken it at all for the whole day.So what am i saying ,even those your friends still have a way out to their addiction by applying the method of lowering the number of dozes until it get to zero.thanks for sharing this wonderful write up on drug addiction
πŸ‘  
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@calaber24p ·
Yeah but it is up to the user to lower their doses which often is very hard to get them to do. Most of the time they arent thinking clearly to begin with.
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@abieikram ·
$0.23
after I read your post, I am very touched, you are big soul, pity with friends who are exposed to toxic drugs, you include people who care about others, we are only able to try and ban him, but who can change it only his own self, I sure you will get something good with your own good,
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@lifenbeauty ·
$0.45
> In the end regardless of status, as long as you are a nice person I'm usually willing to be your friend. 

I think that we shouldn’t care at all about status, as well as nationality or religion, when we choose who to befriend with. I believe that we should care only how much is someone ready to help unconditionally, how much is someone pleasant to be with, how much does someone know about smart or interesting things, and how much can someone make you laugh and feel good.

It is horrible what happened to your friend. It kinda reminds me of Requiem for a Dream film, a must see if you haven't already.

P.S. It's not your fault.

Cheers!
πŸ‘  ,
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@calaber24p ·
Status is weird because many times the people who have it think they are better than others, which is why I tend to like those who dont. They may be rough around the edges but I have found they genuinely care more about their friendships. Appreciate the kind words.
πŸ‘  
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@nobutsd · (edited)
As someone who is in recovery from Heroin and other drugs, and as someone that works in the recovery community and writes about recovery here, I can tell you without a doubt talking about how you are feeling is the best therapy you can do. That is the whole concept behind going to a meeting. That was why I initiated the chat in discord for recovery. I saw people responding to my posts but not having a place to talk and support each other, see a need, fill it you know? I hope you are able to process through your feelings and come to resolution regarding them, stewing on our hurts is never a good idea for anyone.
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@liamobtv ·
Sorry to hear about your friend - RIP. 

I have tried a lot of different drugs - everything except opiods - and I've never felt any sort of addiction to them. My health was always more important to me than continuing to trip or stay 'up'.

However, after knowing opiod addicts, hearing them speak, and witnessing what their withdrawal is like, I absolutely would never fuck with opiods.

I helped sit with somebody for some days while they went cold turkey. We had him high as a kite on ridiculous amounts of cannabis oil the whole time but it was still scary to see.
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@doitvoluntarily · (edited)
i'm unfortunately all-too-familiar with the pain of addiction as many close to me have struggled with it
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@sushiltiple ·
Should I tell the principal that my underaged classmates smoke and do illegal drugs during breaktimes?
πŸ‘  
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@adammillwardart ·
Sorry for your loss. The opiate epidemic is out of control. Spread awareness about kratom. It's a plant from southern Asia that can help opiate addicts through withdrawl without the worst sickness symptoms and it does't affect the breathing like true opiates do, so, it's much safer.
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@healthcareport ·
Great Article @calaber24p

Thank you for opening your story to us , as we know this is not easy. I have had the chance of knowing people with this kind of addictions and spirituality has been a great source of help for them. 

I had known testimonies of people getting out of drug addictions thanks to Jesus Christ, and it has been and continue being my first source of strenght to battle the hard times.

My humble advice can be to pray for your friend who passed away, because there is a phrase that says " One tear dries out, one candle turns off, but one pray it is heard on heaven".

Will be prying for you and your friend my brother.

God Bless Us All!
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@xtophercruzeu ·
Nice write up, it is interesting. I am following you, can you follow me @xtophercruzeu thanks
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@bizarro ·
I'm going to do a bit of my own rambling, if I may. (ΰΉ‘Λƒβ€ΏΛ‚) I'd like to get this off my mind. (๑‒﹏‒)

One night, I was coming home from the train station. I was heading toward the parking lot when I heard some shouting behind me. I tend to ignore that sort of thing, so I kept walking. 

Seconds later, I felt a hard flick on my arm. "Hey!" Some guy shouts in my face. I don't know this man. Total stranger. 

"Hey!" He shouts again. _I heard you the first time_, I thought to myself. 

We stopped in the sea of human traffic. "Hi?" I said, just to say something. 

"Hey! How you been?!" He says energetically, volume still high.

I racked my brain for a name. Maybe it's a friend's brother, all grown up? A kid I used to babysit? Who the hell is this? I don't know anyone who looks like this. 

"I'm really, really sorry," I said in the most apologetic voice. "I don't recognize you." 

His face lit up. 

I explained that I meet hundreds of people. Sometimes, I don't see them for months. Sometimes they change their hair, or lose weight, and the next time I see them, I don't recognize them. Of course, sometimes it's my bad memory. But I keep that to myself. 

"Aw, it's me! You know, with Ivan! Landscaping! You remember me!? We used to work together!" 

. . . 

I did remember. Of course I did. He was there when I nearly cut my neck with a chainsaw. I remember.

Jeremy. This is Jeremy. 

_This is Jeremy_?! 

Naw. Can't be . . . Can't be, but not many people know my past like that. 

"Uuuh . . . This isn't in a bad way or anything," I said awkwardly. "You look different. I don't recognize you at all." 

He beamed. "Yeah, I got clean, ya know? Don't do those no more. Got a job and everything. I'm goin' back home to give the kids their Christmas presents." 

I looked down at the bags he was carrying. Three bags. 

I offered him a ride home.

It didn't hit me in that moment, but now I understand that triumphant look of not being recognized. I knew Jeremy when he was on drugs. In fact, I _only_ knew him while he was on drugs. 

Whatever he had gone through in the years I didn't see him, my failure in recognizing him must've been validation. He seemed to want to say, "I've changed, see? Changed so much, you don't even recognize me." 

Now, he didn't actually say that. But everything he could squeeze out in that five-minute car ride, his new job, his promotion, about wanting to go back to school, seeing his kids more often, taking care of his parents, there was a lot of pride in that. And I was happy for him. 

We pulled up to his home. I told him how good and healthy he looked, and that I was happy for him. And off he went. 

---

Many, many mornings later, I was out in the front yard at my parents' home. A friendly man walks by.

"Hello," he says. "Hello," I returned, as he walked off. I see he stops at the neighbor's house. I can hear the chatter, but not clearly.

A few moments passed, and the friendly man walks back. 

"Um, 'scuse me? Um, can I git some, um . . . Uh, ne'er mind. Sorry to bother you." 

He seemed nice enough. Kind of shy. "I won't give money, but if it's something I can help with . . ." I said it as kindly as possible, while trying my hardest to sound stern. 

"Thanks. Um . . . I wuz wonderin' if, um, if I can git sum 'luminum." 

I didn't want to assume what it would be for. But maybe the man saw my hesitation. 

"It jus' . . . Yeah. One day, you know, it jus' . . . I dunno. It jus' went, you know, like that," he gesticulated wildly. "Like that, you know wut I'm sayin'?" He stared at me intently, expecting a response. 

Okay. I have a crazy person on my parents' lawn, rambling. I need to get him away as soon as possible. 

Aluminum. Right. He wants aluminum. I told him calmly, "I would, but this is my parents' home, so if they say no, I can't help you. But I'll go check." 

As I turned to leave, I hear him say, "I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," I said, more out of habit. 

But that was enough to give him reassurance. He said quickly, "It jus' happened, you know. One day. . . One day, I wuz bored. An' it jus' happened. I'm sorry . . . It jus' happened." 

Maybe I knew this whole time. Maybe I just didn't want to believe it. 

Scraggly. Thin and pale. Incoherent and desperate. This person I didn't recognize, who recognized me, yet didn't realize I didn't recognize him, was Jeremy. And he was apologizing to me, of all people.

---

It had been a few years since the last time I didn't recognize him. Whatever happened, must've happened quickly. And brutally. 

I don't know what had become of him. I don't know if he ever sought help. I don't know if he's still alive. I haven't seen or heard about him since then. 

Jeremy was not someone I was close to. He was just someone I worked with a few times, until my boss replaced him. I didn't dislike him though. He just wasn't all there when I knew him. But he was nice enough. 

He was just someone I worked with a few times.

And yet, to this day,  I feel something I recognize as guilt. 

If I ever see him again, I will tell him I'm sorry. Though for what, exactly, I'm unsure.
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