![Screenshot_20190512132015_1.jpg](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/cryptopie/28ZkY5PS-Screenshot_20190512-132015_1.jpg)

Trying to sleep that is, this is quite a bit of an insomnia that I am experiencing right now. I should try to sleep but I know it would be difficult, sometimes or I should say more often i would just think nasty things and then go on a lucid sleep, that weird sleep where you know that you are aware but not necessarily sleeping.

Now it sucks because if this would continue I would go crazy. But I hope that God would not allow that horrible thing to happen. I know that I had been like-crazy in the past but it is just because of the overload of toxins in my body. Of course if you have bad things or chemistry in your body it will definitely show up not only in your way of thinking but also with the way you move, say, and do things.

I am still of course optimistic that this too shall pass, oh man I had a lot of years of struggle about insomnia even years before I had my first dialysis which happened a year after I quit going to College because of course I couldn't cope anymore considering that I am frail already, anemic, and in a weird diet of "no salt" plus made to drink lot "Tons!" of water and herbal decoctions by my mother who would scold me if I didn't do as I told.

I was so water intoxicated even at the time when I am attending College that the skin on my fingertips cracks and I get a wound with that. So I reckon I couldn't really do studies anymore plus my father isn't really able to sustain my College so I stopped abruptly but mainly the reason for abrupt pause in attending school for me is my health.

I just basically waited until "maybe" things in my health issues would iron-out by itself letting the future shape my fate. And sure it did but not in my wildest nightmares I would end up like this with a ridiculously horrid medical situation that is also expensive to manage, my tears are already drained-up because of that. 

Anyway I was blessed for some reason or miracle that my CBC test had came fantastic but only after many years. That is why I am just one in a million cases where a dialysis patient doesn't require EPO injections or blood transfusions anymore. It cured my inability to eat until that dreaded Cinacalcet came into my life and also it cured my long-standing insomnia. For the first time I was able to sleep although intermittently from that point without blood transfusions and EPOs.

But anyway I guess that the concoctions of medicines a=that I am taking really had screwed my sleep particularly my Caffeine intake at dialysis, it maybe hurting me so I maybe have to adjust again so I won't get much trouble in sleeping, I am still unable to feel sleepiness as of this writing.