I'm referring more to knowledge about the nature of children (and ourselves).  You can love them but just because you really love them doesn't mean you will make the best decisions for them, from punishment to privilege there are things to understand how their little brains work and what is normal.  I hate to say it but you sound like one of those parent's who have bothered to learn about children to a deeper level than most and get the big  gift giving picture they give to us...you're too rare and it makes me sad.  I think the average parent is selfish to a fault and they don't know it.