Yes, I think you're right, my friend, and I take solace in Rumi's insight that :  *what we seek, also seeks us.*  We're not, alone, in the quest.  I don't even know that we must take the first step in this dance, but it does require surrender (and, of course, daily struggle with the seductions of doubt, despair, hopelessness...) Wishing you peace `_/|\_`