RE: This is a PAY IT FORWARD POST to help our friend @dianargenti here. Her father passed away & she needs funds to complete the burial AND help her family. We dropped the ball on helping her Steemit Family. by barrydutton

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Viewing a response to: @dreemit/re-barrydutton-this-is-a-pay-it-forward-post-to-help-our-friend-dianargenti-here-her-father-passed-away-and-she-needs-funds-to-complete-the-20170811t040500442z

· @barrydutton ·
@dreemit:  

Well, Dian has spoken -- that link takes you right to her comment -- just give it several seconds to load.- it takes a long time, presumably because of the sheer amount of comments.  It is at the end of my comments/overview here for you.  

The balanced thing to do, since everyone has an opinion --- is for the whales to Upvote this at full power, to move Dian's reply to the top of the comments, to find more easily for everyone, since the post is from her, and about her but I am not holding out much hope for that.-- those big votes would also pay her directly, and that is our focus as well here, right???


You might want to consider sending this to some people who have voted and commented on this, and the related whales who have downvoted or removed support from this -- because Dian's opinion matters the most here and this behaviour in the post has grieved her further.

She is very nice.  

The TLDR version in brief:  

- Is that she still needs funds, as I tried to tell everyone on this thread and provided proof.  

- That the attacks on me and flags have made her sad and during the time when she needed to focus on her family, which is true, and she considers me a brother, (which makes me smile!)

- That she has no problem with the 50/50 format and her getting the liquid rewards and me keeping the steem power at all because I have helped her a lot, and it is her way of thanking me, and that Steemit is a give and take community (about halfway thru her reply)  and again, similar statements right at the end of her post.  

- That she has been offline due to her area in her nation having issues.

- That she wishes the flags be removed and the post supported, and names the whales in doing so.

- That she appreciates all I have done for her over the weeks and knows my heart is right and I have supported her for a long time.  That she knows I view Steemit as community and family and work hard to help out.

-- I have drafted this overview for the benefit of the commenters on the post and am sending this pasted to several people who flagged or downvoted the post, since I know 90% of you / them will miss her reply because it is buried at the bottom of the posts, and so nothing is missed or misinterpreted if everyone gets the same message.  


Dian has spoken.  Now you have to decide how you are going to handle this.   I will not be replying to comments on this, it has turned nasty by a handful of people, where the vast majority of voters and commenters had no issue with this --- nor did Dian and that should carry weight -- her words.  

She has always been my focus here -- and her opinion should be heard and matter more than anyone's here.  

I will say it again for emphasis -- The balanced thing to do, since everyone has an opinion --- is for the whales to Upvote this at full power, to move Dian's reply to the top of the comments, to find more easily for everyone, since the post is from her, and about her but I am not holding out much hope for that.-- those big votes would also pay her directly, and that is our focus as well here, right???

Dian's reply to this thread, directly here in this thread -- but here is the direct link since there is close to 400 comments now.  

https://steemit.com/steemit/@barrydutton/this-is-a-pay-it-forward-post-to-help-our-friend-dianargenti-here-her-father-passed-away-and-she-needs-funds-to-complete-the#@dianargenti/re-barrydutton-this-is-a-pay-it-forward-post-to-help-our-friend-dianargenti-here-her-father-passed-away-and-she-needs-funds-to-complete-the-20170814t184403899z
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@dreemit · (edited)
$4.24
Hi barry-

I will vote up her comment, and I've also directed one of the key people of this whole argument to take a look at it.  

I'm sorry that this has only caused to further her sadness, and I'm sure that your intentions were to help her. 

Though I don't know if it was worth fighting over the sp to be honest, I don't know that you shouldn't have just agreed to give that to her even though I wouldn't have been one to tell you to do so.  It seems if you had, then the post would have remained at its high amount and your character wouldn't have been so attacked.  And I doubt that the whales are going to change their minds and revote, it's hard enough to get that initial vote, lol.

I am sorry that this all happened and hope that it passes as so many things have on this platform.

Edit: I'm afraid that I've just learned some more information about this that leads me to now say that you definitely should have agreed to give the sp to her.  Someone who was concerned about you and your reputation urged you to do so privately, I honestly have to say that you should have listened to her. In the end there doesn't seem to be a valid reason why you would fight so hard to keep money that was only made because people wanted to help out dian. And a very substantial amount is the real issue.
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vote details (7)
@acidyo ·
$0.09
I have personally gone over and voted on 2 of her posts that were not paid out yet and told others to do the same as it seemed this was only about half of the rewards. He could've paid her a higher percentage, kept a little for the time it took to write out the post, but no one deserves to get 50% of $1000 for creating a post for charity for someone in need and then fighting so hard over getting those votes back like he is doing now through the spam commenting.

It feels like he is digging his hole deeper and ruining his character even more. I do hope Dian is now covered from the recent post rewards and donations.
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@dreemit ·
$4.45
Actually--he is definitely digging this hole deeper. son of satire is a good friend of mine and still I was trying to give Barry the benefit of the doubt here, but someone sent this comment to me and I'm appalled. My last edit was still too kind. I gave this link to SOS, but it appears he's not on today, so perhaps you'll want to use it:

https://steemit.com/thank-you/@barrydutton/re-dianargenti-re-barrydutton-re-rebeccaryan-re-dianargenti-my-deepest-and-sincerely-thanks-to-everyone-20170814t151648821z

I'm really trying to wrap my head around the fact that he just told everyone that she's suffering even more now because of what is being done to him, when he was the one to tell her.  Talk about fucking disappointed man.  And disgusted as I don't think there is any way to look at this now, other than him trying to profit off of her tragedy.
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vote details (8)
@barrydutton ·
It was out of principle  as  time went on.  I have addressed all that in the post.

My original posts for donations were always 50/50 like i said many times, to donate the liquid -- nobody ever had a problem.

Also like I said, in the post taking lots of time to explain, most people use the same  template with no issues.

Whether it makes $10 or $50 or $1500 really should not be the issue ---  and as the fight dragged on, it became clear to me, it mattered to :

- Stick to what I and others have always/usually done, with that format.
- Not be  bullied
-  The amount should not matter and THAT has been unearthed and been discovered as time went on.

It appears it is fine to message everyone back door, about everything and set up things how a few people want to do things, quietly..... 

while allowing others to be  attacked.

It was never about me, or the SP.   People made it about that --- and I am a principled person who was  aggressed against,  namecalled and targeted and made an example of -- by a select few people while others  stood by and watched.

I don't like being forced and this really uncovered some ugly things inside a few people -- while I have stuck to my principles, because people are scared of the whales and sucking up, has always been a problem here for that.  

Say something   people don't like??  Flag them,  no matter how sound the reasons have been, and how well - and at length they have been explained.  

I have never been a  bandwagon  guy, look at the voting, downvoting, and comments  here or behind the scenes, and the timeframes, etc.   

And yet the issues are all mine, right?  That is what the 1% here are making this out to be.

-- I will fully expect you and them --- to be flagging all donation posts  from now on , forever --- if someone dares only donate the liquid rewards...... that as we ALL KNOW --- is usually the norm.
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@dreemit · (edited)
$0.56
That wasn't the problem for me Barry. I stuck by you until I learned about this comment to Dian, and you're telling all of us that this whole thing has made things harder for her, but you were more than willing to make things harder for her by pointing it out and asking her to defend you. Right after burying her dad? I just don't understand that.  The rest I could have understood, even if I wouldn't have made the same choice. And I didn't flag the post actually, though I did remove my vote.  It took a lot to get me to this point, I argued in your favor. I just don't see how you can't understand where you've gone wrong here. The amount does matter for one thing. The amount that only got to be that large because your title was a big guilt trip concerning Dian Barry...seriously, it's not the same as some other fifty/fifty posts. But still, that wasn't what did it for me. It was that you *asked* her to write those comments, making this entirely about you when you're saying it wasn't. I had not lost faith until then.  And if you are going to now call me someone who jumps on a bandwagon, that's pretty damn awful of you. This has nothing to do with whales for me, that's ridiculous, I would not have backed you up all this time, and given you the benefit of the doubt if that were the case. 

edit. son of satire is someone I speak to off the platform quite a bit, we're not just friendly by commenting, and I have to say he is generally right about these things. I didn't want him to be in this case, but very sadly I don't know how I can see it differently now.  

If you could just realize where your pride and ego got involved in this and clearly see how Dian was no longer a factor, then perhaps you could make this right?
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