I grew up a very restricted child. My mother was crazy and overprotective so I really didn't do much as a kid. I stayed home. I didn't have many friends. My mother made going out extremely hard and I had to be monitored or else she's worry. I'd say the first 18 years of my life pretty much sucked. My mother has serious abandonment issues and other fears like me getting abducted by strangers. She had control over my life in unhealthy ways out of fear of losing us. Even when I moved out to the dorms when I started college, my mother called me every single day and I was expected to be home and answer my landline phone (pre-cell phone world). Even as an adult I felt very trapped by my mother. 

As a young adult I still didn't do much. I had to be home every night at 9:00 to answer the phone or else my mom would freak out thinking something bad happened. One time she actually drove to my college to check on me when I had to be out after 9:00 (story for another day). If I wasn't going to be home I had to let her know and then call her when I got home or else she'd get pissed. There was always pressure to hurry home for that damn phone call. I didn't do much because of this.

#### Then, I turned 23 and met my husband. A year later, he helped me escape 22 hours away to rural South Dakota far from my mother. We both got accepted to grad school there and he took me on my first big adventure in life.

# The First Realization I Was Free To Live My Life
![53952_593945686496_2280782_o.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmf68Hr75ATeqtZkf33CRwmH6xNWDMLBa3AfQGCKWC2ufT/53952_593945686496_2280782_o.jpg)
> My husband in front of me while we rode bikes.

When I moved to South Dakota I bought a bicycle to ride bikes with my husband. I had a bike as a kid but I wasn't allowed to leave our yard ever because my mom feared I'd get abducted. This was the first time I ever rode a bike in the street. My husband and I would go riding in the middle of the night when no one was around. 

The first night we went out riding at 2 AM. It was a cool summer night. It was a month before school and our new jobs would start. We were completely free to do what we wanted.

We found one street close to our house that was really, really long. It was alongside a farm belonging to the university. The road had a bit of an incline for drainage. If you rode up the street towards the university you'd be going slightly uphill the entire time. It took a bit of legwork to go uphill. Then, once you reached the top of the street if you'd turn around you'd be going at a slightly downhill angle. Going back downhill was amazing because you didn't have to pedal at all down this incredibly long road so you got a good ride before you reached the end. 

#### I had my headphones in and listened to this song over and over as we rode our bikes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAuwqm0IjlA

There weren't many streetlights. The farm was a big empty field of darkness which allowed you to see the sky. The sky was cloudless and you could see the stars above clearly. It was the first time I'd been so removed from city life that I could see the stars so clearly. I remember riding up and down the street while looking up at the sky and feeling the cold wind on my face. It was like my husband and I were the only people on Earth. Zac Brown Band blaring "Free" in my ears and the adrenaline of riding my bike free of all restraints had my heart racing with joy. I saw my very first shooting star and I thought that the night couldn't be more perfect. 

That was the first time in my life I truly felt like my own person. I was free to experience the world and have fun. I could explore and make my own choices. Living with an overprotective and controlling parent robbed me of that feeling until I was 24 years old. At the age of 24 I rode a bike in the road for the first time and I felt a sensation of happiness I should have felt in childhood.

# Parents Don't Realize How They Hurt Children Trying To Protect Them
##
Parents need to give their children room to experience life. The world is scary place but you can't keep your kids in a cage trying to protect them of the "could happens" in life. I don't think many parents realize what harm they do to their kids by being overprotective. It's understandable these days with news stories filled with murders, rapes, and other horrible events. We live in a fearful culture. 

That being said, children need freedom to experience life. I feel robbed in ways that I never got much of a childhood. I stayed home. I stayed and played alone in my room. It was a lonely and dull childhood. Overprotective and controlling parents harm their kids socially and mentally. They make their children believe danger is around ever single corner.

I'm so thankful I met my husband @magic-sasquatch. He helped me break the mental control and manipulation my mother used on me. Meeting him and experiencing the ability to make choices made me realize how messed up having an over-controlling parent was at my age. When I moved to South Dakota with him my mother still called me every single night to check up on me. For a while I answered the phone because I knew me leaving caused her sadness and pain. Then, after a short time I stopped answering every time. I use to fear not answering the phone because she'd berate me and guilt me but I knew I had to break that cycle if I ever wanted to truly be free.

### It's good to protect your children. It's not good to overprotect them to the point you imprison them in a world of fear.
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