Thanks for that link. I can't comment there so I have to comment here. Sorry about that.

The bad news: You could plausibly clip 90% of that preamble and your story would not suffer. It's loads of more telling and very little in the way of 'hook'.

Vampires are hot shit at the moment. Everybody wants to do a vampire book. Which means that _Everybody_ is sending one to agents and publishers with stars in their eyes and hopes in their hearts. You have to therefore work _really_ hard to get any attention from them.

What got Star Trek noticed was that it was not the everyday-at-the-time post-apocalyptic last-man-alive scenario that audiences had seen way too much of. What got Star Wars noticed was that it was more mythical than technobabble. What got Twilight noticed was that their vampires were different.

And so on.

Maybe go subtle. Don't mention vampires until the third or fourth chapter, make your audience think Celtica is a bit racist by the peppered mentions of "his kind" in the narrative. Then flip it on its head and have all the other clues make sense by retrospect.

Did you know that Hollywood is directly responsible for Vamps being vulnerable to silver? The really old lore has it that Vamps can only be harmed by incorruptible things: gold, oak, and faith are big winners there. Bring that back and you will be my favourite person 5ever ;)

I'm assuming that your goal is publishing on the dead tree circuit? I'm still trying to break in, so I can't help you there. I just know that there are vampires all over the place. You can _not_ bore your future publisher.