Lovely poem. i feel for you  and what you are going through.
I would like to share a quote from Meher Baba:

... The universe is, in itself, nothing but imagination. There is, in fact, only one indivisible and eternal reality, and it has neither beginning nor end. It is beyond time.

From the point of view of this timeless reality, the whole time process is purely imaginary, and billions of years which have passed, and billions of years which are to pass, do not have even the value of a second. They are like not having existed at all.


1939? Di v1 p26