What I learnt from learning how to talk to women #1: The paradox of a pickup line by aldentan

life · @aldentan · Sep 8 '17

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What I learnt from learning how to talk to women #1: The paradox of a pickup line

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<p>http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/21553299_10155622303531870_1000484479_n.jpg</p>
<h1>It all started when I read this book by bestselling author Neil Strauss.</h1>
<p><strong>Straight up: </strong>It's a book documenting his tale transitioning from a nerdy guy lacking confidence to a real man who knows how to talk to women.</p>
<p>Is this book kind of sleazy and sexist?</p>
<p>Maybe, depending on who you are.</p>
<h1>What I can say however is that it's a treasure trove when it comes to men's personal development.</h1>
<p>It did well for me. I got this book when I was 20 years of age. I was a virgin. I was good-looking, but I was socially awkward. I didn't have the balls to talk to girls. I also unwittingly came across as rude as unfriendly when I was really just insecure and shy. My fashion sense was also pretty much non-existent.&nbsp;</p>
<p>A man can indeed learn a lot about human behavior and himself when he takes on the path of seducing women.&nbsp;</p>
<p>And yes, you can do it without being a douchebag. You don't have to lie or deceive people just to get what you want. That's not nice. That's not self-improvement. That's just being an asshole. I will never condone that. Remember that there is a difference between talking to women and disrespecting them altogether.</p>
<h1>The pickup line dilemma</h1>
<p>So here's one common topic when it comes to learning how to talk to women: Do pickup lines work?</p>
<p>Does spewing forth a humorous and witty, albeit rehearsed line taken from a book or from the internet get her attention?&nbsp;</p>
<p>Or would it backfire because it's supposedly so fake?</p>
<h1>My answer: Yes and no.</h1>
<p>Yes, a pickup line can work if you have the good foundation to back it up. In this case, you must understand several things:</p>
<ul>
  <li><strong>The importance of looking good.</strong> Looks matter, get over it. You need to dress well. You need to trim your hair. You need to shave. You need to stop wearing track shoes out on a date.</li>
  <li><strong>Speaking well. </strong>No one will want to listen to someone who mumbles like a broken machine gun.</li>
  <li><strong>How to harness body language.</strong> Because your words may contradict how you act and that may be your downfall.</li>
  <li><strong>Basic niceness through honesty. </strong>Because nobody likes an arrogant and shady person.</li>
</ul>
<p>Do you see how all of this, with experience, creates a confident man who can understand and utilize a pickup line for his full effectiveness?</p>
<p>Can you visualize a suave gentleman, donning a suit, holding a glass of whiskey as he engages in a intellectual conversation with one, or perhaps several women, and then he sneakily inserts that pickup line?&nbsp;</p>
<p>And the women all laugh.</p>
<p>No, a pickup line will not work if you don't have any of the above foundations. Guys who are not in the know mistake that a pickup line is good just because it's funny or smart on its own.</p>
<p>Can you visualize now, a slouching, scrawny guy with unkempt hair talking to a woman, not maintaining eye contact, his hands are trembling as he mumbles the pickup line he learnt from Buzzfeed moments ago, thinking that it would work but it only resulted in her saying, "Excuse me what? I can't catch what you're saying."</p>
<p>And she leaves because she is bored.</p>
<h1>Your foundations in life is that important for you don't want to be a walking contradiction</h1>
<p>And walking contradictions never succeed in life.</p>
<p>The boy who relies on the pickup line and its power looks only like a boy and not a man. However witty or smart the pick up line, it doesn't connect.</p>
<p>Don't be that boy.&nbsp;</p>
<h3><strong>Be a fucking awesome man with strong values, principles and beliefs. Be someone who has a strong foundation.</strong></h3>
<p>If you want to succeed in business, stop focusing on creating a deceiving salespage that talks about how good your product is when in reality, it's crap.</p>
<p>If you want to be a good salesperson, for goodness sake, please at least use your own product.&nbsp;</p>
<p>If you want to be a bestselling author, work on creating your audience and platform as you write your book. The harsh reality is writers MUST have their own platforms today.</p>
<p>If you want to be a sincere friend, stop coming up with bullshit excuses about how busy you are when a simple check of your Instagram profile shows how you'd "busy" you are with partying and getting drunk.</p>
<p>And so on.</p>
<h1>This was but one lesson I personally learnt in my journey of learning how to talk to women.</h1>
<p>As said, it's a treasure trove when in men's personal development.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Let me know what you guys think about this. I plan to write more soon. &nbsp;</p>
<h1><a href="http://www.alden-tan.com/">www.Alden-Tan.com</a></h1>
<h1><a href="https://steemit.com/@aldentan">Follow me here on Steemit! @aldentan</a></h1>
<h1><a href="https://www.patreon.com/aldentan">Support my work here on Patreon if you like my writing. Peace!</a></h1>
<h1>Upvote, resteem and comment ya?</h1>
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