Sometimes I hear from clients who say that they are tired of living in the "perfect" role, or feeling trapped by perfectionism. And then there's the person who tells me how he/she let go of their perfect relationship and now lives in a more imperfect world. What does perfectionism-letting go mean? To a certain degree it means giving up on what might be perceived to be your "perfect" relationship. But to a more fundamental level it means accepting that things are just as they are and moving beyond striving for perfection to letting go and being okay with where you are.

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When I hear from clients who are terminally committed to perfectionism, what I hear them say is that they are sick and tired of feeling like they are the only one out there. To the perfectionist, their idea of a happy life includes fixing everything, working at achieving "good enough," and fixing everything "perfect." They believe that to achieve this ideal life they must forget about themselves, refuse to give up, neglect themselves, and do the things that are important only. The perfectionist believes that to be good enough is to live a life where everything is perfect, a life where you can have everything you wish for and nothing less.

Letting go of perfectionism is a process that starts by first saying to yourself "I am imperfect. I accept and understand that this is true and this is okay. I will not change who I am. Letting go of perfectionism is also a journey that begins by declaring to ourselves "I am OK without my perfection; what I do need to do is let go and be OK with what is."

The perfectionist, by definition, is someone who has set themselves up on a pedestal. They feel like they are complete and always right and are unwilling to admit that they are not. This is a mental disorder that can be corrected but often comes back later in life when the person who suffers from this disorder experiences some form of failure.

Here is the truth about perfection: it never was and never will be. We were all created to be more than and beyond our current ability. We were all created to inspire, teach, guide, and lead. We were all created to make a difference. We were all created to grow, develop, expand, and become more knowledgeable and more powerful than we are right now. Letting go of perfectionism is a process of humility that when done, will result in an awareness that will allow you to become much better than you currently are.

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If there are any scars that you want to cover up or eliminate, do so. It is your choice. But, whatever you decide, please remember that you are doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. Your body has been scarred and will be scarred again at some point in your life, so why not start with today and let that scarring go? Letting go of perfectionism will rid you of the struggle that was once there but is no longer there. Letting go of perfectionism will rid you of pain and suffering and let you live a life filled with passion and beauty and success and happiness.