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This morning I told myself to just eat a bit so that I can get hungry at dialysis so that I can be able to enjoy my food. I did just that and I ate a piece of bread and a piece of hard-boiled eggs. I am doing it before and even not eating anything for the reason that I really want to eat a lot while hooked-up since I like the food from the convenience store that we are buying my meal from.

But this time around my blood pressure didn't cooperated because I got hooked-up at dialysis at around 5:39 AM and because the convenience store was now opening only at around 7:30 and not serving food until past 8:00 AM, probably my blood sugar went down and so is my blood pressure.

I thought that it will be my last day at dialysis because I was close to blacking out already and my guts are already churning and I literally close to soiling my pants for that matter too.

My father was able to hand my my meal about an hour to go before the appointed termination time but as I was spooning my food my arm grew stiff and weak, just a sign of a very low blood pressure.

I tried to eat anyway but it is no use, my vision is already dimming at that instance and I have to notify my nurses. They flushed some (NSS) "Saline Solution" into my system, it is their first way to raise a dialysis patient's blood pressure. I only felt better after they returned my blood back which I thought that they will return for good but they did not.

They allowed me to rest for a while and finish eating my food since I haven't touched most of it yet. So after I felt much okay I ate my food and finished it, I haven't enjoyed it much because it was my father who prepared it and gave me only one serving of gravy which should be two for each serving of rice, so my meal in turn didn't taste right as it is lacking in gravy to my dismay.

After I had eaten my meal my treatment session continued and I was able to finish it thanks to my considerate nurses this time.

So my treatment went a it non-satisfactory because my blood pressure crashed an hour before the scheduled time. It means a lot of thins, maybe that I reached the point that I have no more extra fluids in my body, it could mean that I have a weak heart or parts of my heart or I have a heart disease. It could just mean that I really have to eat an hour after getting hooked-up or it could be all those factors.

I did took lots of caffeine prior but it just didn't make any much of a difference in supporting my BP, in fact I am feeling jittery two hours after getting hooked-up and at the third house of the four hour treatment session time I felt that my heartbeat is weakening already because I am getting the hypotension episode already.

I am just thankful that I was able to get my needed blood-cleaning session and that is what is important for now. I hope that my body would still hold until I get to achieve what I wanted to do in my lifetime and only God knows if he wanted to add more years or to just give a rest that I needed already. 

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