Hello, friends🤚🏼 I thought I would like to bring some fun to the boring days in ... by danielschmunk

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Hello, friends🤚🏼 I thought I would like to bring some fun to the boring days in ... by danielschmunk

appics · @danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

$0.20

Hello, friends🤚🏼 I thought I would like to bring some fun to the boring days in ...

...  quarantine and distribute some love in the form of AXP to the community for your best jokes.

Until Sunday the 12.04. I will pick out 3 of you with the best jokes every day (based on central European time) and upvote your last 2 pictures with 100%. (The winners joke as well 💵)

You can post jokes as often as you want. I will declare the day's winners as "🎉joke of the day 🎉"

If you have a lot of jokes, feel free to spread them out over the days. Everyone can win more than once.

Make sure to follow this account and upvote this picture to participate. 👍🏼

PS: Feel free to reward the best jokes of all the participants as well. 🙏🏼

With all that being said - let's have some fun. 🤪🤩<br/><br/>[![cf7b05357f85b45989e066a89c02796f](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/cf7b05357f85b45989e066a89c02796f-640)](https://appics.com/referenced.html?ref=steemit.com&type=image&id=123977&url=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/cf7b05357f85b45989e066a89c02796f-640&caption=Hello,%20friends%F0%9F%A4%9A%F0%9F%8F%BC%20I%20thought%20I%20would%20like%20to%20bring%20some%20fun%20to%20the%20boring%20days%20in%20quarantine%20and%20distribute%20some%20love%20in%20the%20form%20of%20AXP%20to%20the%20community%20for%20your%20best%20jokes.%0A%0AUntil%20Sunday%20the%2012.04.%20I%20will%20pick%20out%203%20of%20you%20with%20the%20best%20jokes%20every%20day%20(based%20on%20central%20European%20time)%20and%20upvote%20your%20last%202%20pictures%20with%20100%25.%20(The%20winners%20joke%20as%20well%20%F0%9F%92%B5)%0A%0AYou%20can%20post%20jokes%20as%20often%20as%20you%20want.%20I%20will%20declare%20the%20day's%20winners%20as%20%22%F0%9F%8E%89joke%20of%20the%20day%20%F0%9F%8E%89%22%0A%0AIf%20you%20have%20a%20lot%20of%20jokes,%20feel%20free%20to%20spread%20them%20out%20over%20the%20days.%20Everyone%20can%20win%20more%20than%20once.%0A%0AMake%20sure%20to%20follow%20this%20account%20and%20upvote%20this%20picture%20to%20participate.%20%F0%9F%91%8D%F0%9F%8F%BC%0A%0APS:%20Feel%20free%20to%20reward%20the%20best%20jokes%20of%20all%20the%20participants%20as%20well.%20%F0%9F%99%8F%F0%9F%8F%BC%0A%0AWith%20all%20that%20being%20said%20-%20let's%20have%20some%20fun.%20%F0%9F%A4%AA%F0%9F%A4%A9&category=comedy&hashtags=contest+quarantine+funny+joke&author=danielschmunk&profileImageUrl=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/profileImages/134-1573680191230-640&permlink=appics-v1-appics-im-123977)<br/><br/>[![Powered by APPICS - visit us at appics.com](https://s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/appics-staging/steemit_banner.gif)](https://appics.com/referenced.html?ref=steemit.com&type=image&id=123977&url=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/cf7b05357f85b45989e066a89c02796f-640&caption=Hello,%20friends%F0%9F%A4%9A%F0%9F%8F%BC%20I%20thought%20I%20would%20like%20to%20bring%20some%20fun%20to%20the%20boring%20days%20in%20quarantine%20and%20distribute%20some%20love%20in%20the%20form%20of%20AXP%20to%20the%20community%20for%20your%20best%20jokes.%0A%0AUntil%20Sunday%20the%2012.04.%20I%20will%20pick%20out%203%20of%20you%20with%20the%20best%20jokes%20every%20day%20(based%20on%20central%20European%20time)%20and%20upvote%20your%20last%202%20pictures%20with%20100%25.%20(The%20winners%20joke%20as%20well%20%F0%9F%92%B5)%0A%0AYou%20can%20post%20jokes%20as%20often%20as%20you%20want.%20I%20will%20declare%20the%20day's%20winners%20as%20%22%F0%9F%8E%89joke%20of%20the%20day%20%F0%9F%8E%89%22%0A%0AIf%20you%20have%20a%20lot%20of%20jokes,%20feel%20free%20to%20spread%20them%20out%20over%20the%20days.%20Everyone%20can%20win%20more%20than%20once.%0A%0AMake%20sure%20to%20follow%20this%20account%20and%20upvote%20this%20picture%20to%20participate.%20%F0%9F%91%8D%F0%9F%8F%BC%0A%0APS:%20Feel%20free%20to%20reward%20the%20best%20jokes%20of%20all%20the%20participants%20as%20well.%20%F0%9F%99%8F%F0%9F%8F%BC%0A%0AWith%20all%20that%20being%20said%20-%20let's%20have%20some%20fun.%20%F0%9F%A4%AA%F0%9F%A4%A9&category=comedy&hashtags=contest+quarantine+funny+joke&author=danielschmunk&profileImageUrl=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/profileImages/134-1573680191230-640&permlink=appics-v1-appics-im-123977)

👍 hauptmann, katteasis, ruhrsearch, chrissysworld, elteamgordo, goldkey, fabianklauder, jancharlest, matheodigital, pele23, charline.cherie, karenmckersie, silvervault, love83, marianne.sand, ajinkyajagtap, justdentist, goldvault, jhelbich, secretman02, danielschmunk, egonz, technologix, lerchen, mrsbeetroo, laloelectrix, atimkaranezi93, verasanimarco, steferretto, regane, rokyhasan, soldier, cryptopossible, knight4sky, extalifestyle, izukumidoriya, sutharnatwar, tashkiukas, itsonursezer, water4art, silverkey, mrs.goldkey, redwarbull, jferdous, putu300, sampraise, marina2017, david.steem, mhzim, yuriy.stakhiv, steemian258, toushik, gysmo, lapilipinas, isacat, felixsander, travelpic, devguy, ferrez, oldjazz, ilcommendatore, shahinalom1, kamalkhann, appics-globalcom, and 54 others

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jancharlest	37,799,700,077	100%
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@jancharlest · Apr 5 '20

So your appics tokens are not yours, those are appics tokens!

properties (22)

@sampraise · Apr 5 '20

Hahaha I can already imagine the jokes that I will invent ... 😂😂😂

👍 danielschmunk, markom021

properties (23)vote details (2)

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danielschmunk	0 B		271,523,257	6%
markom021	0 B		119,472,245	24%

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

😁😎

👍 sampraise

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
sampraise	0 B		74,072,671	1%

@gopinath9812 · Apr 5 '20

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
 
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
 
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk, oldjazz, gopinath9812, maxmolkenthin

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danielschmunk	6,214,397,199	100%
charline.cherie	23,920,767,911	100%
oldjazz	121,323,965	15%
maxmolkenthin	0	13%
gopinath9812	0	0%

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

it took me a bit longer but now I got it 😂 good one👌🏼

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
masudrana	0 B		670,782,429	20%

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
masudrana	0 B		617,316,708	20%

@gopinath9812 · Apr 5 '20

Thank you 😊😊

properties (22)

@emon01 · Apr 5 '20

So nice

👍 emon01

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
emon01	0 B		91,378,030	6%

@toushik · Apr 5 '20

🙄 What's nice here?

👍 toushik, charline.cherie, danielschmunk

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voter	rshares	pct
toushik	10,395,785,753	100%
danielschmunk	406,255,055	10%
charline.cherie	975,236,003	4%

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

you are right ! i think this is the best joke 🤣

properties (22)

1 reply

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

well, this made me laugh as well 😄

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
masudrana	0 B		653,940,868	20%

1 reply

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised"

👍 lerchen, danielschmunk, markom021

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voter	rshares	pct
danielschmunk	815,212,704	19%
lerchen	1,919,591,636	25%
markom021	203,006,312	36%

@lerchen · Apr 5 '20

🤣🤣🤣I got it!!🤣🤣🤣

👍 lerchen, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (2)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

hahaha i like this joke 😁😧

properties (22)

@tobiassoenser · Apr 5 '20

Es wird nicht mehr lange dauern bis die Lockerungen kommen. Aber dann gehen wir sofort alle zusammen auf den Weihnachtsmarkt 😅

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (2)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

haha aber in 2021

👍 tobiassoenser

properties (23)vote details (1)

@tobiassoenser · Apr 5 '20

🤣😂🤣

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 5 '20

I want to tell the which happend past two backs that was with my shool mate..me: i was messaged her that i want to tell something important thing to her. She: ok tell me (said intrestingly). me : what are you  expecting from me to tell . she: how do i now .. me:i was really waiting since many years that, when we meet each from first time .. she : oh really  , what is the matter(she asked with some happiness).  Me: i asked what is the the today. She: aprail 1st . Me : Aprail fool nothing their  to tell( finally fooled her)

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (2)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

hahaha ouuhhh

properties (22)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

How many Germans does it take to screw a light bulb? - one, they're efficient and not very funny.

properties (22)

@pele23 · Apr 5 '20

My daughter told me today she counts sheep when she’s laying in bed. I asked her “how much did you count?” She said 20, then the shed was full...

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (2)

@secretman02 · Apr 5 '20

Journalist: Are you educated ?

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@secretman02 · Apr 5 '20

Man: not able to read but i can write !!   Journalist: what you write ??   Man: I don't know what i wrote because i don't know to read  😁😁

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (2)

@shahinalom1 · Apr 5 '20

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. 
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice. 🤪🤪🤪

👍 shahinalom1, charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (2)

@jhelbich · Apr 5 '20

Excelente, desde ahora espero tus publicaciones!. Saludos.

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@toukirahmed02 · Apr 5 '20

Very good idea

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@ravelb · Apr 5 '20

Material:
3 balloons (one full of water) 
1 knife

Joke: 
"If you hit all 3 on the fly you win what you want"

throw them one at a time, and the third boom wet 🤣

👍 ravelb, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@cryptopossible · Apr 5 '20

Husband: "Do you love me?"

Wife: "E=mc2"

👍 oldjazz

properties (23)vote details (1)

@marianne.sand · Apr 5 '20

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out of here” shouts the bartender “We don’t serve your type.”

👍 oldjazz

properties (23)vote details (1)

@karenmckersie · Apr 5 '20

With many couples home together, I am predicting a Baby Boom in 9 months! And in 2033 there will be another "QuaranTEEN!" LOL!

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk, lerchen, sarimanok, stentor

properties (23)vote details (5)

@sarimanok · Apr 5 '20

You're right there. Lol! On the other hand, what if they're on the brink of getting a divorce and they couldn't stand seeing each other while on quarantine? :)

properties (22)

@karenmckersie · Apr 5 '20

Then no QuaranTEENS for them in 2033, lol.

properties (22)

2 replies

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

😂

properties (22)

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 karenmckersie, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@karenmckersie · Apr 5 '20

So awesome, Thank you!!

properties (22)

@wasiulafif · Apr 5 '20

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.” 😂😂

👍 charline.cherie, matheodigital, danielschmunk, oldjazz, wasiulafif

properties (23)vote details (5)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

🤣

properties (22)

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@wasiulafif · Apr 5 '20

Thank you bro😍😍 Love you a lot💙💙

properties (22)

@mhzim · Apr 5 '20

One company owner asks another Owner : “Tell me,Bill,how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

Bill replies: “Easy.30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”  😎😎👊👊

👍 charline.cherie, toukirahmed02

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

ove that one 😁👌🏽

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@joshuaedoja · Jul 4 '20

Lol...

properties (22)

@sampraise · Apr 5 '20

The centipede was sleeping, When the roach knocks on the door desperately screaming, Open me! Open me! The Chicken is coming To eat me, the centipede in a hurry gets up and says I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm putting my Shoes on! 😜😂

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@ajinkyajagtap · Apr 5 '20

Maybe i can try to tell a joke.. let's see..

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@yuriy.stakhiv · Apr 5 '20

"Do you speak English?" - Yes "What's your name?" - Yes

👍 verasanimarco, danielschmunk, stentor

properties (23)vote details (3)

@lerchen · Apr 5 '20

Great!!🤩

properties (22)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

🤣🤣🤣

properties (22)

@lerchen · Apr 5 '20

Friends,you are so incredibly funny,I laughted so hard!!!🤣🤣🤣

👍 charline.cherie, lerchen, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (3)

@verasanimarco · Apr 5 '20

Ich konnte es nicht fassen. Mein Nachbar hat tatsächlich noch um 3 Uhr Nachts bei uns geklingelt.🤦‍♂️

Mir wäre fast die Bohrmaschine runtergefallen😡

👍 charline.cherie, matheodigital, danielschmunk, oldjazz, stentor

properties (23)vote details (5)

@charline.cherie · Apr 5 '20

hahaha

👍 verasanimarco

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 verasanimarco, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 5 '20

There are so many good ones, so I had to break the rules. 😁🙏🏼 I've chosen 4 winners for today (Sunday, 22h CET)

@gopinath9812
@wasiulafif
@karenmckersie
@verasanimarco

Congrats 💰🎉

Thanks for taking part. NEXT ROUND ↪️

👍 karenmckersie, verasanimarco, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (3)

@verasanimarco · Apr 5 '20

🙏 vielen dank

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@karenmckersie · Apr 5 '20

Oh Wow!! Thank you, hahaha, glad you liked my timely QuaranTEEN Joke, this is fun!

👍 anushkasen0408, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 6 '20

Wow ..thank you .im very gald you liked my joke..sure this give  encouragement  for everyone to do lot of unique things in appics..

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (2)

@yuriy.stakhiv · Apr 6 '20

Hahaha nice idea, congratulations!...

properties (22)

@verasanimarco · Apr 6 '20

Ein Mann kommt nachhause vom Arztbesuch:
🔹„Erzähl, was hat der Arzt gesagt?"
🔸„30 Euro bitte"
🔹„Ja ok, aber was hattest du?"
🔸„20 Euro"
🔹"Nein, was fehlte dir?"
🔸"10 Euro"

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@technologix · Apr 6 '20

Q:  What do you call a guy who’s had too much to drink?
A:  A cab.

👍 technologix, charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (2)

@katteasis · Apr 6 '20

WHO to Nepal: How many cases of Corona do you have till March.
Nepal: Zero Cases
WHO : What is the reason for the successful prevention of corona in Nepal.
Please share the secret intervention strategies to the World.
Nepal : Its simple, don't diagnose.

👍 danielschmunk, charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 6 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 6 '20

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 6 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 6 '20

Son- “Dad, Can You Write In The Dark?”
Dad- “I Think So. What Is It You Want Me To Write?”
Son- “Your Name On This Report Card.”

👍 danielschmunk, karenmckersie, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (3)

@karenmckersie · Apr 6 '20

Haha, good one!

👍 anushkasen0408

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 6 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 anushkasen0408, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@secretman02 · Apr 6 '20

Conversation of two Friends -

friend x - which day you born my friend y ??

friend y - I born in Sunday !!

friend x - How its possible man ?? Sunday is holiday  !!  😋😋😁😁

properties (22)

@mhzim · Apr 6 '20

A man goes to his doctor and says, “Please help me, doctor.I think my eyesight is really worsening.”

The doctor asks the man to come and look out of the window. “Tell me what you see there,” says the doctor and points.

"I see the Sun," answer the man.

The doctor turns to him and asks, “Sweet Jesus, how much further do you want to see ?!!”

properties (22)

@danielschmunk · Apr 6 '20

Winner of the day 💯

@anushkasen0408
@gopinath9812
@katteasis

Congrats 💰🎉

Thanks for taking part guys. NEXT ROUND ↪️

👍 katteasis, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 7 '20

thank your selecting my joke as winning one..Im really gald you are liking my jokes..soon im going to join to few more people to enjoy this beautiful appics family..

properties (22)

@katteasis · Apr 7 '20

thanks

properties (22)

@pqlenator · Apr 7 '20

Wife says to husband "Why don't you buy me flowers?" Husband replies "I didn't know you sold flowers"

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 7 '20

Teacher: ?Johnny, Im Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved.?
Johnny: ?Thank You?
Teacher: ?Now, Finally,
I Can See How Bad Your Spellings Are!!!?

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 7 '20

A Lady to Doctor: “My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! wat should I give him to cure”?
Doctor: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he’s awake.

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@verasanimarco · Apr 7 '20

🔹Polizei, Aufmachen!!!
🔸Ich will keine Eier!
🔹Wir haben keine Eier!
🔸Ich weiß!!!

👍 charline.cherie, lerchen

properties (23)vote details (2)

@lerchen · Apr 7 '20

😁🤣

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 7 '20

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus
with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk, lerchen, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (4)

@danielschmunk · Apr 7 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@lerchen · Apr 7 '20

🤣🤣🤣Great!

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 7 '20

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.

Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done! 

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 
Shared from (Book of Jokes). Download the app here https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=bookofjokes.app and brighten your day with a smile.

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@david.steem · Apr 7 '20

Knock knock.... ! Who's there ?

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 7 '20

An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.

First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".

The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk, arindammroy

properties (23)vote details (3)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 7 '20

I had read this joke before it was really funny

properties (22)

@arindammroy · Apr 7 '20

Nice one

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 7 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉 😂

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@arindammroy · Apr 7 '20

“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
-
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
-
“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”

👍 charline.cherie, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 7 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 arindammroy, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@arindammroy · Apr 8 '20

Thanks

properties (22)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 7 '20

Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross?
The other shakes his head: "No way, look at what happened to the zebra."

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 7 '20

Winner of the day 💯 (Tuesday 07.04. CET)

And again:
@gopinath9812 🏅🏅
@anushkasen0408🏅🏅
@arindammroy🏅

Congrats 💰🎉

Thanks for taking part friends. NEXT ROUND ↪️

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

You are make us smile by searching the best joke and making others smile ..That is really google thought and great 💓 heart

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

Sorry typoo ..good thought..

properties (22)

@verasanimarco · Apr 7 '20

Ein Anleger fragt seinen Anlageberater: 
„Ist jetzt wirklich all mein Geld weg? Alles weg?“ 
„Aber nein, das ist doch nicht weg. Es gehört jetzt nur jemand anderem!“

👍 charline.cherie, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@itsonursezer · Apr 7 '20

Child: Mom Mom when will we finally be in America?
Mother: Shut up and keep swimming! #ToooHard 😂 😂

👍 danielschmunk, appics-globalcom, itsonursezer, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (4)

@danielschmunk · Apr 8 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 appics-globalcom, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@appics-globalcom · Apr 8 '20

😂 🤣 nice 👍

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

Teacher Told All Students In A Class To Write An Essay On A Football Match.
All Were Busy Writing Except One.
He Wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

Comedian: Will U Merry , After I Die .
Wife : No I Wiil Live With My Sister.
Wife : Will U Marry , After I Die .
Comedian: No I Will Also Live With Ur Sister

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

A Comedian Photographer Is Focusing A Dead Body’s Face In A Funeral Function,
Suddenly All Dead Persons Relatives Beat Him. Why? He Said “SMILE PLEASE”
Teacher Told All Students

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@krazy.steeph · Apr 8 '20

Noch einmal Toilettenpapier und Nudeln kaufen und schon ist wieder Weihnachten.

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@mauriciovite · Apr 8 '20

Im just here to read the comment section😂👌🏼

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 8 '20

you're welcome 😁

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@cryptopossible · Apr 8 '20

Disciple: "What's the worlds biggest lie?"

Guru: "It's a man's world"

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (3)

@danielschmunk · Apr 8 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."

👍 anushkasen0408, gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (3)

@katteasis · Apr 8 '20

Due to the lockdown in the country the pollution is so low that I can see the data stored in the cloud.

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 8 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@extalifestyle · Apr 8 '20

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

👍 danielschmunk, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@extalifestyle · Apr 8 '20

𝙇𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙙, 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙖𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛…
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛*𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛?

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@nortetrader · Apr 8 '20

Question: Why was the baby ant confused?

properties (22)

@nortetrader · Apr 8 '20

Question: Why was the baby ant confused?   Answer: Because all his uncles were ants! 😂

👍 danielschmunk, lapilipinas

properties (23)vote details (2)

@lapilipinas · Apr 8 '20 (edited)

Received a call from a female recruitment consultant.
agent : "Sir I have two openings for you...!
I replied : Yes. I know 

*There was a long silence and then she said:- assh^le*

I replied:-  well, I prefer the other one...

👍 danielschmunk, appicascent

properties (23)vote details (2)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 8 '20

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

👍 arindammroy, charline.cherie, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (3)

@arindammroy · Apr 8 '20

Ha ha that.,funny

👍 charline.cherie

properties (23)vote details (1)

@arindammroy · Apr 8 '20

Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"
 
"So you can all be really sad when I die."

👍 arindammroy, anushkasen0408, danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (3)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

👍 charline.cherie, gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (3)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?" 
Student: "My father's check book!"

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (3)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 8 '20

Lady: "Is this my train?"
Station Master: "No, it belongs to the railway company."
Lady: "Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New York."
Station Master: "No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy."

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 8 '20

Winner of the day 💯 (Wednesday 08.04. CET)

@itsonursezer
@katteasis
@gopinath9812 💎

Congrats 💸🎉

Thanks for taking part fellas. NEXT ROUND ↪️

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@nortetrader · Apr 8 '20

Rescuers: They're all dead ....

properties (22)

@nortetrader · Apr 8 '20

Other rescuers: Yeah. But did you noticed how clean their asses were?

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 9 '20

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@cryptowalker · Apr 9 '20

( Vampire is in the roof spying with the couple)                                                                      Girlfriend: Honey! What if i get pregnant?                                                                          Boyfriend: The vampire in the roof will take care of it.                                                Vampire: Shit!  Are you fucking stupid? I'm only here to watch. Don't include me in your stupid decision, Im outta here.

👍 cryptowalker

properties (23)vote details (1)

@arindammroy · Apr 9 '20

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. "Wow," I said. "That's an amazing car." He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year."

properties (22)

@verasanimarco · Apr 9 '20

Was kann man einem Kind, das keine Arme hat, zu Weihnachten schenkt?
Nix, es kriegt das Geschenk eh nicht auf

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 9 '20

A woman walks into a cafe with a stomach ache.After a while she realizes she needs to relieve herself, knowing her farts are loud, she decides to fart simultaneously with the cafe music. Every time the music gets really loud she let out a long fart. She saw that everyone in the cafe was staring at her and later realized that she was wearing headsets the whole time...

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 9 '20

Peter walked up to the sales lady in the clothing store:
“I would like to buy my wife a pretty sweater. ”
“Oh that’s so cute” exclaimed the sales lady, ”sounds like it’s going to be a great surprise.”
“It sure is” said John “she’s expecting a new diamond ring!”

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 9 '20

Maid: I need a raise

Owner: you already have got a raise

Maid: that was 18 months ago

Owner: why do you then deserve this raise?

Maid: I am better than you in many things

Owner: ok tell me

Maid: I am better at ironing clothes than you

Owner: who told you

Maid: your husband

Owner: okay

Maid: I also am better at cooking than you
Owner: now who told you that?

Maid: your husband

Owner: okay

Maid: and I also am better than you in bed

Owner: did my husband tell you that too?

Maid: no the Gardner did.

Owner: .................

Owner: ok how much raise do you want?

👍 danielschmunk, anushkasen0408, gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (4)

@danielschmunk · Apr 9 '20

😁 good one

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 9 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 9 '20

Wife : had your lunch.?
 Husband : had your lunch.?
Wife : I am asking you
Husband : I am asking you
Wife : you copying me.?
Husband : you copying me.?
Wife : Let's go for shopping
Husband : yes I had my lunch

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 9 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 9 '20

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

properties (22)

@arindammroy · Apr 9 '20

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

properties (22)

@arindammroy · Apr 9 '20

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 9 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 9 '20

Husband: My dear, what ll you do after my death?

Wife: I can't live without you. I would die as well and come with you. 

Husband: huh.. I didn't believe what that psychic said. But now I do. 

Wife: what did he say?

Husband: He said, you won't live a peaceful life even after your death !!!

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 9 '20

psychologist girl and law boy

\> A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?”

\> The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

\> All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.

\> After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

\> The guy then responded with a loud voice: “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!”

\> All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.The guy whispered in her ear: "I study law, and I know how to screw people".

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 9 '20

Winner of the day 💯 (Thursday 08.04. CET)

@anushkasen0408
@arindammroy
@gopinath9812 💎

Congrats 💸🎉

3 days left🏅
NEXT ROUND ↪️

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@cryptowalker · Apr 9 '20

Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.

One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”

The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
-
The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
-
“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
-
“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
-
Poof once more – and he’s 90. 🤣

properties (22)

@cryptowalker · Apr 9 '20

When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.
 
Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home. 🤗

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 10 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

2 replies

@gopinath9812 · Apr 10 '20

My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days.
And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring”.
So I bought her nothing!

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (3)

@danielschmunk · Apr 10 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉 😄

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 10 '20

2 Wives chatting in office :
*Wife 1*: I had a fine evening, how was Urs???
*Wife 2* : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?
*Wife 1* : Oh mine was amazing ! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale ! 
 At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..
*Husband 1*: How was your evening?
*Husband 2*: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you ?
*Husband 1*: It was horrible. I came home, there’s no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn’t have money left for a cab or auto.We walked home which took an hour & when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house !!!!!!
*MORAL*: _PRESENTATION DOES MATTER… NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS_ !!!

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 10 '20

Ambulance service? It’s urgent please.
What happened, Madam?
Coffee fell on my saree while drinking.
Are you really looking for an ambulance for this madam? 
Actually my husband laughed at me.
Got it Madam, ‘ll be there in two minutes.😂

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 10 '20

Dad puts finger print(Thumb) on son’s mark sheet.
Child asked father:

Being a chartered accountant,




Why did you put finger print instead of signature on my progress card.
Father replied:

idiot,after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated.

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@arindammroy · Apr 10 '20

Student: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do.
Teacher: No
Student: I didn't do my homework

👍 danielschmunk, anushkasen0408

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 10 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 10 '20

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
-
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
-
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”

properties (22)

@arindammroy · Apr 10 '20

I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.

properties (22)

@danielschmunk · Apr 10 '20

Winner of the day 💯 (Friday 10.04. CET)

@anushkasen0408
@arindammroy
@gopinath9812 🔥 🔥 🔥

Congrats 💸🎉

2 days left🏅
NEXT ROUND ↪️

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@cryptowalker · Apr 11 '20

Boyfriend: Babe, i slap the person who just passing by, because he told me i look like a farmer when in with you.

Girlfriend: Really? ( Giggling ) Don't get angry babe, being a farmer is a honorable job. why he said that anyway?

Boyfriend: He said; You look like a cow 🐂

Girl: ( Bursting ) Where is that f#&%# guy now? 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 11 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 11 '20

Employee: Boss, I’ve got married. Can I get a pay rise?
Boss: We do not compensate for the accidents that happen outside of the work place.

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 11 '20

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 11 '20

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She text back, “Omg really?”
Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.”

properties (22)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 11 '20

Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
-
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
-
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
-
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
-
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
-
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school.”
-
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”

properties (22)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 11 '20

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

👍 danielschmunk, anushkasen0408

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 11 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 11 '20

"I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

👍 arindammroy

properties (23)vote details (1)

@arindammroy · Apr 11 '20

What is strongest creature in the world?
.
.
.
.
.
The snail 🐌 it carries it's whole on it's back.

properties (22)

@arindammroy · Apr 11 '20

A child comes home dripping wet.
 
Mother: What on earth were you doing?!
 
Kid: We were playing dog with my friends.
I was the tree.

👍 danielschmunk, anushkasen0408

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 11 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@danielschmunk · Apr 11 '20

Winner of the day 💯 (Saturday 11.04. CET)

@cryptowalker
@anushkasen0408
@arindammroy

Congrats 💸🎉

LAST DAY ⏳
LAST ROUND ↪️

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@cryptowalker · Apr 12 '20

Juan: My dad is really good! You know Pacific Ocean? He is the one who drilled it, that is why we have it now.

Pedro: You make me laugh buddy, my Dad is more than good than your Dad.

Juan: And why is that?

Pedro: Do you know Dead Sea?

Juan: Yes, everyone knows that ofcourse.

Pedro: Well, My Dad are the only guy who killed it. 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

properties (22)

@roykie17 · Apr 12 '20

A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day.

Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.

The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two coats.”

👍 danielschmunk, gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 12 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@roykie17 · Apr 13 '20

Thank you 😊

👍 roykie17

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…

As the food was served, Husband said:
“The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.(most of the Indians usually do prayer before eating)
Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.

👍 danielschmunk, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 12 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit?
Girl: Old man.
Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

Problem about being in IT. You go by requirements and logic.

Husband is a programmer.


Wife : Honey, please go to the super market and get 1 bottle of milk.
If they have bananas, bring 6.


He came back with 6 bottles of milk.


Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?!?!


Husband (confused): BECAUSE THEY HADBANANAS.

He still doesn't understand why his wife yelled at him since he did exactly as she told him.

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

Imagine a man outside playing with a baby (infant) with just a towel covering his body and as he throw the baby up, his towel looses grip while there are so many people around you...


Which one would he catch first, The BABY or the TOWEL?!
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 12 '20

Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.
 
At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.

👍 danielschmunk, anushkasen0408

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 12 '20

🎉joke of the day🎉

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 12 '20

Today, my son came to me and gave me a hug – out of the blue. I was very pleasantly surprised – that is, until I heard him tell his father, “You’re right. She did gain weight.”

properties (22)

@anushkasen0408 · Apr 12 '20

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

A pastor was praying for a demon-possessed man. He shouted, "In the name of Jesus, what do you want from this Man?! Speak! Before I cast you out into the lake of fire! The demon in the man said, "I want him to win the National Lottery Draw worth 200million dollars tonight." The pastor subtly lowered the microphone and whispered, "Get out of him and enter into me."

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 12 '20

Husband and wife went for the court at divorce.
Judge : you have three kids how will you divide them.
They had a long discussion with his wife and said " ok, sir will come next year with one more

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@danielschmunk · Apr 12 '20

⭐️🏆 FINALS 🏆⭐️

Thanks to all of you for taking part at this small laugh challenge. Thank you for your effort to find and tell of us good jokes. I hope y’all had some fun. 

Winner of the day:

@roykie17
@anushkasen0408
@gopinath9812

- - - - -

Winner of the week:

🥇@gopinath9812
(payout ca. 400$)

🥈@anushkasen0408
(payout ca. 285$)

🥉@arindammroy
(payout ca. 228$)


Congrats ❤️

See you on Appics. 👋🏽

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 13 '20

Im glad to be part of it  and also my jokes made you to to bring smile onyour face the one of the winner..

👍 gopinath9812

properties (23)vote details (1)

@roykie17 · Apr 13 '20

Aw... Thank you 😊❤️ I had fun...

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 13 '20

Ft up

👍 masudrana

properties (23)vote details (1)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 13 '20

Im really sorry for the typoo mistakes  and this comment came without editing properly. Problem with the edit text as the developer  directly shouldnt put it on the keyboard

properties (22)

@gopinath9812 · Apr 13 '20

My suggestion send button should not be on the keyboard because when we click on mistakenly comments are sending without editing  properly

👍 gopinath9812, masudrana

properties (23)vote details (2)

@roykie17 · Apr 13 '20

Old people at weddings poke me and say "Your next". So I started doin the same thing to them at funerals.

properties (22)

@asadchughtai · May 21 '20

Dr: "Mrs Rani, Good News For You" Girl: "What Do You Mean By Mrs Rani? I Am Miss Rani" Dr: "Oh! Am Sorry Miss Rani, Bad News.

properties (22)

@woe-is-meme · May 28 '20

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.. she looked surprised 😆

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@majestymajro · May 30 '20

So it was children's day on the 27th and 3 fathers uploaded the same child...  We're still trying to settle the matter😂😂😂

👍 danielschmunk

properties (23)vote details (1)

@ashubaba01 · Aug 29 '20

My life is a joke😂

properties (22)

Help/Feedback

`post_id`	85,574,767
`author`	katteasis
`permlink`	q8ekkf
`category`	appics
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit\/0.2"}
`created`	2020-04-07 05:29:03
`last_update`	2020-04-07 05:29:03
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`last_payout`	2020-04-14 05:29:03
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
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`body_length`	6
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`root_title`	"Hello, friends🤚🏼 I thought I would like to bring some fun to the boring days in ..."
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000

`post_id`	85,592,506
`author`	lapilipinas
`permlink`	q8h98v
`category`	appics
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit\/0.2"}
`created`	2020-04-08 16:17:21
`last_update`	2020-04-08 16:19:42
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`author_reputation`	45,943,303,796,102
`root_title`	"Hello, friends🤚🏼 I thought I would like to bring some fun to the boring days in ..."
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	0
`author_curate_reward`	""

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		324,672,764	7%
charline.cherie	0 B		2,820,907,964	12%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		375,212,146	8%
charline.cherie	0 B		1,616,448,668	7%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		374,535,358	8%
charline.cherie	0 B		1,438,234,489	6%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
charline.cherie	0 B		1,614,178,343	7%
shahinalom1	0 B		2,341,975,959	100%

voter	rshares	pct
danielschmunk	6,089,419,982	100%
charline.cherie	23,443,144,083	100%
sarimanok	1,312,072,404	10%
stentor	44,038,703	16%
lerchen	1,312,521,853	17%

voter	rshares	pct
danielschmunk	5,966,853,530	100%
charline.cherie	22,973,997,813	100%
oldjazz	202,372,950	22%
matheodigital	7,981,181,012	21%
wasiulafif	0	1%

voter	rshares	pct
danielschmunk	270,027,920	6%
verasanimarco	780,714,053	26%
stentor	32,029,728	14%

voter	rshares	pct
danielschmunk	426,854,095	9%
charline.cherie	4,180,438,757	17%
lerchen	2,027,141,161	26%

voter	rshares	pct
karenmckersie	4,906,432,969	57%
masudrana	622,639,470	20%
verasanimarco	3,039,532,668	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		216,381,003	5%
anushkasen0408	0 B		546,763,540	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
charline.cherie	0 B		2,072,145,634	9%
technologix	0 B		4,885,944,950	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		4,678,513,659	100%
charline.cherie	0 B		2,303,910,286	10%

voter	rshares	pct
karenmckersie	3,078,978,421	30%
danielschmunk	4,584,088,108	100%
gopinath9812	590,780,752	100%

voter	rshares	pct
danielschmunk	4,954,035,494	100%
charline.cherie	24,727,675,454	100%
lerchen	1,113,561,354	16%
gopinath9812	0	0%

voter	rshares	pct
arindammroy	4,200,214,065	100%
danielschmunk	5,055,974,071	100%
charline.cherie	25,232,611,064	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		5,160,029,947	100%
charline.cherie	0 B		25,748,034,290	100%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
danielschmunk	4,605,220,793	100%
itsonursezer	2,173,600,555	100%
appics-globalcom	4,243,854,413	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
masudrana	0 B		245,112,056	10%
appics-globalcom	0 B		4,158,129,291	100%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
danielschmunk	4,699,893,027	100%
gopinath9812	0	0%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
anushkasen0408	319,293,422	55%
gopinath9812	0	0%

voter	rshares	pct
arindammroy	4,011,148,783	92%
danielschmunk	354,782,664	9%
charline.cherie	2,032,423,709	9%

voter	rshares	pct
arindammroy	4,399,351,539	100%
danielschmunk	310,380,527	8%
anushkasen0408	614,793,439	100%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
charline.cherie	1,806,465,372	8%
gopinath9812	0	0%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
danielschmunk	401,363,914	10%
gopinath9812	0	0%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
danielschmunk	4,779,282,424	100%
anushkasen0408	373,008,829	63%
gopinath9812	0	0%

voter	rshares	pct
masudrana	0	1%
danielschmunk	3,987,968,426	100%
gopinath9812	745,669,186	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		4,069,905,335	100%
anushkasen0408	0 B		621,442,585	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		4,289,431,408	100%
anushkasen0408	0 B		608,083,676	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		4,377,489,249	100%
anushkasen0408	0 B		621,442,585	100%

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danielschmunk	0 B		4,043,612,360	100%
anushkasen0408	0 B		621,442,585	100%