<h1>![](https://puu.sh/r01jd/6940445b9b.jpg)</h1>

It was just another regular day, day like every other, or at least I thought so. I was walking towards my gym on Lexington avenue, on burning sun, sweating like crazy. I was thinking about my next big step, moving into my own place, in Manhattan. And as I had million thoughts racing through my head, I received brother's message "Hey, are you here?". I thought to myself, what interesting thing has he found this time? 

<h2>New chapter of my young life</h2>

![](http://i66.tinypic.com/214xi6h.jpg)

Allow me to tell you my story. A little over a year ago I received a letter that I wasn't accepted for a college that I wanted.  A+ student, hard working girl,  focused, driven and eager to succeed. Why did I fail? Of all people, why me? I always thought to myself I would be such a great doctor, since I have diabetes for more than 18 years, I thought I would be the best person to treat diabetic people. But no, that obviously wasn't the right path for me. There was no other college that would even slightly intrigued me at that point so I decided to have a gap year. Soon after my mum suggested me to go work abroad and get some new experience that will motivate me when I come back. A year later, I truly doubt I will ever go back to Croatia.

<h2> Au Pair experience </h2>

My journey has begun with me applying for Au Pair program in USA. Since I was an animator for children's birthday celebrations for more than 6 years there was no problem dealing with the application. However because of my diabetes, it took a long time for any host family to contact me, because let's be realistic, no one wants a "sick" nanny to take care of their kids. 

![](http://i63.tinypic.com/16iwmbn.jpg)

Two months later, I got a call. Upstate NY, family with three kids, twins six months and a boy two years old. Yes, a lot of diapers. But that was my only chance. 

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I packed my bags, put all of my diabetic supplies and I was ready to go. My American adventure was about to start. Or at least that's what I thought. The village where my host family lived had approximately 50 people and 90% of them was older than 70. First three weeks I would walk around the house with babies thinking to myself, is this really what I wanted? I was careful that my host parents don’t notice a minor disapointment, after all they welcomed into their house like I’ve lived here forever.

Working from 7 am to 11 pm with a lunch break, or as I would call it "nap time" because with this type of schedule you can't avoid not to feel exhausted. I had a feeling that I was underpaid for the amount of work I do here. Don't get me wrong I loved being with kids, they were adorable, but I didn't come here to be their second mother, and that's how it looked like.

I would call my mum over Skype when I felt lonely and tired of work. Then one day I decided to say enough. No more poor, sad Hana. I said to myself I came here on a cultural exchange, to get a new experience, to meet new people and to have fun. And that's what I tried to do, little by little. 

![](http://i64.tinypic.com/24mglz5.jpg)

Every now and then my host family would go to NYC, and my heart would beat a little bit faster, I would get only one day off, but for me that day would always be like heaven.

 ![](http://i64.tinypic.com/x0nz29.jpg )

I would walk on these big avenues looking at massive Skyscrapers and think to myself "one day I'm going to live here". I didn't know how that was supposed to happen, but it did. 

 ![](http://i66.tinypic.com/2z8x180.jpg)

Now I'm here, still 20 years old, still Croatian, still single, still struggling with my English, still diabetic, still sometimes confused by the subway, but most importantly much much happier. 

<h2>How did Croatian “princess” became American construction worker </h2>

Often during that year, a thought about terminating this program came to my mind. I decided it’s fair to endure this year as I applied voluntarily and this family counted on me. 

![](https://puu.sh/r023M/83f5846fad.jpg)

A year has finally passed, a time has come for me to move out and go on my own. I was scared like never before. Small amount of money, no home, no family. Only thing I had was my faith. I didn’t even blink and I was already at the train riding towards NYC. 

![](https://puu.sh/r027b/75e95b2ec3.jpg)

At midnight there she was, my blonde beautiful friend waiting for me at Grand Central. Although every inch of me was scared we both laughed so hard and looked at each other like we have no idea what is happening. 

![](http://i64.tinypic.com/2mdnc6f.jpg)

As you can tell, I’m not a quitter. The rebel inside me finally got enough courage, and definitely strength, since I found a job as a construction worker in New Jersey. 

![](http://i65.tinypic.com/rm8rvm.jpg)

Oh man! That job was hard! Tearing down the wall and then building it up again, huh, I don’t even know how I did it. I worked there for two weeks.

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It was time for me to head to Miami on a long wished vacation (one of the reasons why I didn’t want to go home is because I bought ticket for Miami two months in advance). 

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And as I was sunbathing on this beautiful South Beach my mind was running so fast with all the things I have to do now. I’m not a careless 20 year old barbie girl, I’m a young woman fighting to survive in the jungle. 

![](http://i66.tinypic.com/2mme9l4.jpg)

If you are interested how’s my life been changing ever since that trip, leave some kind of feedback.

Thank you for reading my story.