One way or another. by kex

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poetry · @kex · (edited)
$60.71
One way or another.
<center> https://image.ibb.co/kOxW2d/12278892_10156160889355562_5996336382272467881_n.jpg   </center> 

<div class="text-justify">
<hr noshade="noshade"/> 
<center>  Recently I found out something.

I'm afraid of the dark.
I can't blink without the fear of having a panic attack.</center> <hr noshade="noshade"/>I sleep with my eyes wide open. -I don't sleep. 
I can't have my mind throwing me those images of an inexistent world.
 It's not supposed to exist... 
I'm not supposed to see it...-

I can't sleep very well... -I don't sleep!-
 ...My eyes are tired all the time.
 I can't be sure anymore if what I'm seeing is real. 

I barely go out, it could be dangerous. 
-It is dangerous, no matter where I am- 
So I stay here, I take my pills and I stay here. 
Writing, watching tv, and so on.

I can't watch myself in the mirror anymore, it was forbidden to me, the doctor says that "it is for the good of my mental health" but I sometimes see myself on the reflexion of some shiny surfaces. I see myself, the several me's, watching me, pointing at me, they move their mouths, talking to me. I know what they are saying but, I know it's not true, right? How could it be? Everyone keeps saying that it isn't, it cannot be.
 So I just ignore me, them.

I eat what I can. -I don't eat. I can't stand having food in my mouth. 
The flavors, knowing that it's "good" for this body;
 I can't feed a body that is begging to die, I just can't. 
So, I eat what I "need", I take my pills, and try to rest.-

I sometimes write notes to my doctor. He nicely asked me to do it, so he could know a little more about how I'm doing. He told me -A lie- He says that I'm doing really good! and that "I'll be ready to go home, soon." I hope he's right cause there are some people in here that don't really like me, there are people in here that punch me and scream to me, some of them even mess with my notes when I'm not watching, they write some. 
-Truths- 
Some strange things.

I hope I can go back soon, I've spent a long time in here, I think, I don't really know anymore, but I know I'll be out soon. 

<center>  -One way or another- </center> </div>
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 394 others
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vote details (458)
@lemony-cricket ·
$0.08
I'm glad you tagged this with #fiction, or I'd be worried about you. Well-written. I like a good weird read, and you didn't disappoint. :)
👍  , , , ,
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vote details (5)
@kex · (edited)
tHanks for the commEnt Lem,  I aPpreciate it.  It MEans a lot.
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@henjos · 
Hi @kex! I just upvoted you.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@kex · 
Cool! :D
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@curie ·
Congrats on a Curie vote!
Hi kex,
<div class="pull-right">
https://steemitimages.com/DQmQfXu2wZSpQ1JJoa5j7ztnX26gTp8D2DSjB2t5qC6EVCg/Curie%20Upvote%20Logo%20150px.png
</div>
Your post  has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed).  Keep creating awesome stuff! Have a great day :) <br>
 
**LEARN MORE:** <a href="https://discord.gg/G6RPUMu">Join Curie on Discord chat</a> and check the pinned notes (pushpin icon, upper right) for <a href="http://curiesteem.com/assets/pdf/whitepaper.pdf">Curie Whitepaper</a>, FAQ and most recent guidelines.
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vote details (1)
@kex · 
Thanks!
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