Birthday?! by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$48.50
Birthday?!
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--520920202.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdkdPbi3YAStxKzextjWTyNwzgjn1XpEEKRQE1oT6owgW/IMG-PHOTO-ART--520920202.jpg)

Its the good lady's birthday this week. 

My mission, rather obviously, is to find her some presents. Normally something I would breeze through with nary a thought. I am a splendid gift giver. If I do say so myself. 

This time however the good lady is up the spout. She has a bun in the oven. She is, how may I put it delicately, gravid with child.

![1502720454-picsay_20170814153425875.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUi6k4wLC18hMpXQAkBJrtag4VBYA3qry1FndFUK3h3c2/1502720454-picsay_20170814153425875.jpg)

She has learned a few lesssons from the last pregnancy and I seemingly have learned naught. I approached her for some hints as to what she would like. I knew a few things were out given that she is rather large comparative to her normal size. She helpfully responded.

*No clothes. Wouldn't be able to wear them for ages.*

![15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803172706243_20170810172140343_20170813203046680_20170814151704584.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQma37v7DzErwQcqCrpkVh8upErecJo1k1jDX6UjfUCPcqr/15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803172706243_20170810172140343_20170813203046680_20170814151704584.jpg)

Hmm, ok. That seems fair enough.

*And no jewelry, you know what young babies are like. Clutching at everything.*

Of course. I remember our first, reaching out a grabbing hand at anything that glittered. Well, in fact anything that moved. 

*Definitely no sweet things. I am the size of a house.*

*Oh come now my darling, you are a svelte gazelle considering your, ahem, condition.*

![1502720454-picsay.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWfP9nRVhSPayLzfQsYwbWA3QH4rWp78B5XVTGMyjuGQy/1502720454-picsay.jpg)

She fixed me with a hormonally raging eye. 

*Svelte? Gazelle? Are you taking the piss?*

I assured her that oh no. I was most definitely not extracting that particular item. She was not easily mollified. 

*Don't get me slippers or any shoes, you always get the most ridiculous shoes. The comfy stuff I have is good enough.*

![15027203.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmasuSsDeFhKrrmmW8iLi8QyLYnFAmxfKXJShjH7mcRTys/15027203.jpg)

Hmm, right you are then.

*Perhaps you would like a guitar?* 

I grinned winsomely. She glared at me. 

*Oh funny, no. No guitars.*

Dammit.

*And no massages or spa treatment type stuff. I can't get any of that right now. I am pregnant.*

She rubbed our unborn child through the whales head sized bump on her tummy. 

*Are there any books you would like?*

You can't go wrong with a book after all. She loves reading!

*No books. I have loads I have not had the chance to read and I won't get much chance running around after a newborn.*

She grinned somewhat manically. 

*I will leave it to you. I know you always come through.*

HA! Yes, perhaps. I am fecking stumped this time though. What on earth can I get the lady who does not seem to want anything? Ah, I know. Something baby related. After all who couldn't resist something baby oriented when in fact you are hefting around a big lump of child on your front!

*And for the love of god no baby stuff please.*

Dammit!!

*One of those light up toy lightsabre's?*

![20121214_175246-picsay_20170814184556564.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcYnA14iFgrKpEVGf1vQZGq1dFnMnG4ambuvaFHgoAj1m/20121214_175246-picsay_20170814184556564.jpg)

She sighed and gave me *that look.*

It looks like the only thing she will be getting is a kick in the chuff at this rate!

![1502720454-picsay_20170814155048646.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcaTTir4kBXvCpKh3uo14yW9bEzYJCV3L1iJCpsuNiDeW/1502720454-picsay_20170814155048646.jpg)
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 75 others
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vote details (139)
@investwarrior ·
$0.03
just present her  big bucket of flower like 50-100 roses and vacation trip to relax:)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
The flowers perhaps is a good idea!! Too late for vacation!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@tremendospercy ·
$0.03
You're screwed buddy!
Doesn't matter what you do you'll be wrong.
Might as well take the opportunity to buy something you want.
Good luck  dude.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
You are right. I should buy myself something nice lol!!
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@earnonlinewith ·
$0.03
Give her cash. It works 100% of the time.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I might have burned that one the last time. Although I am sore tempted!
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@earnonlinewith ·
😁
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@gikitiki ·
$0.03
Get the good lady a can of bear repellent.  Put a tag on it, that if @meesterboom should happen to approach with a certain look in his eye, the repellent should be used to prevent future birthdays with a gift similar to this can.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Haha, you know I will tell her about this suggestion because she has mentioned something similar!!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@gringalicious ·
$0.04
"She has learned a few lesssons from the last pregnancy and I seemingly have learned naught"  Too funny!!  "gravid with child"  I'm adding that to my arsenal for sure.  

How about something similar to fill the room and her ears with pleasant music?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Music is always a hit that's true!! I think I will buy her something like that :0)
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@karenb54 ·
$0.03
I am sure you will think of something super fab for her birthday :)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I am currently on the prowl for it!
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@karenb54 ·
$0.03
Music, flowers, her hair done etc :)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@cecicastor ·
$0.03
How about nice flowers and a night out, fancy restaurant and perhaps a movie?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
We have one already and the childcare situation is terrible. Flowers yes, night out no!! Cheers!
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@ocrdu ·
$0.07
A big jar of gherkins? A swimming pool? A robot vacuum cleaner with your face on it? A painting of a hippo? A drone with a white flag hanging from it for when you daren't approach?
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
Holy flip!!! All of the above!!!

She is sorted now! :0D
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@old-guy-photos ·
Oh yes! I concur with the drone! Now your talking. Settled Id say, a drone it is!
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@michaelrojo ·
$0.09
Hire her a nanny! Or adopt an au pair. You both can thank me later....
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
I would be thanking you if we got an au pair!!
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@wakeupsheeps ·
Do yourself a favor and get a Swedish au pair, back in my last two years of high school, my neighbors had one of the prettiest girls ever watch their precious child.  Wild times were had.
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@ugetfunded · (edited)
$0.03
https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8365/8450518369_7ec6b9fdf0_b.jpg

Accept the gift of a new follower.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@charles1 ·
$0.04
Just buy shoes for her haha or send her some SBD because ladies love shopping...
I am in the same boat and never know what to buy till the last second....I send you a toast buddy, cheers.
👍  ,
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@meesterboom ·
I could send her SBD but with the current value it would have to be a lot lol!! Cheers!
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@charles1 ·
$0.04
Then send in more posts at least 70 daily ...I have your back covered via steemvotters.com haha . Ladies must shop.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@journeyoflife ·
$0.03
Why not some household things that will make her life easier , including a dinner at night as well ?!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
You are right of course. I had thought I'd a new iron and perhaps some good washing up liquid!! :0D
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@journeyoflife ·
$0.02
And also something she really wants or wanted for a long time . Yesterday I purchased a Kitchen Aid set for my mothers birthday tomorrow ."she has always wanted it"
👍  
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vote details (1)
@playfulfoodie ·
$0.03
Oh my, I am horrible at gifts! The last few years, I just went for gift baskets with lots of small things inside (food, cosmetics, candles, etc.). Or I go for a *'do'* gift, like a night at an all-in hotel or something like that. You'd need a place to leave your kids though, maybe family... Anyway, what to give a pregnant woman, I have no experience with whatsoever, so I'll just wish you good luck :D
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I will buy a basket of *stuffs* that's a top idea!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@playfulfoodie ·
$0.03
I know right? *Stuffs* are the best!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@dreemit ·
$0.03
Clean the house, make her dinner, then rub her feet...lol, these are probably the only things I would appreciate late in a pregnancy! (Maybe a gift card?)

August is a birthday month for us too, both my children, in fact today is my daughter's actual birthday though we celebrated on the weekend.  Might head down to the lake. I have some blogs to catch up with later, been hectic here :)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Goodness me that is hectic!!

I was thinking along those lines. Lord knows she has been getting enough foot rubs though!!
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@dreemit ·
$0.03
Good man....tough to come up with presents if  you're already doing things like this, not special enough then lol!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@cipriang · (edited)
$0.04
Such an awesome post Mr. @MeesterBoom! You guys seem like an amazing couple, even a role model couple.

I have an idea, maybe not the one you would go for, but it might inspire you.
I would love to make like a small video where I wish **Happy Birthday** to your Lady and all the luck in the world with the pregnancy. Maybe you could also ask other Steemians the same and make a really cool video out of it.

Just an Idea. Let me know, and if you decide to do something like this, I would totally get involved! :D
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Lol, that sounds as cool as feck but she thinks of steemit or anything steemit related a little differently from me!! Cheers man!!
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@cipriang ·
$0.03
Maybe this is a great opportunity to change her perspective about Steemit and the Steemit Community. I think it would be indeed cool as **feck**. Hahahah
👍  
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vote details (1)
@all-of-us ·
$0.03
Am I the only one thinking a new Iron...
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.02
I am on the iron! Although knowing my good lady she would bludgeon me to death with it lol
👍  
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vote details (1)
@machhour · (edited)
Great post & Nice Cover:)
Followed
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@meesterboom ·
Cheers!
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@stadsmanneke ·
$0.06
Ha , huh , got no clue !
Good Luck ,  grtz  :-)
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
$0.03
Cheers man!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@rocksg ·
$0.03
Go and made the lady feel very special on this memorable day after all you have to wait for 356 days again to surprise her like this, and who knows the time so do it now.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I will make her feel very special have no fear on that one!! :0)
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@rocksg ·
What is the the surprise you have for her?
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@hassanabid ·
$0.03
ladies love shopping xD my friend happy lovely couple :) love you friend dont get angry coz if you seniors wont help us who else will :) sorry for my bad :)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
How could I be angry :0)
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@hassanabid ·
@allasyummyfood help him to find gift for her :D
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@kus-knee ·
$0.57
What about a new ironing board? Surely she can still iron while pregnant! A nice sturdy one that folds up easily to put away.

I always tease my wife with that one! 

Joking aside looks like you've got yourself a big problem!  

How about loading up a debit card for her with some of your hard earned SBD? 

What about getting a baby sitter and taking her to the theatre before the bun is out of the oven?
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom · (edited)
She is too uncomfortable to go out I am afraid but you know that is a great idea idea just loading up a card for her. Cheers @kus-knee! Then she can buy what she pleases after the fact!

Hehe, I have tormented her often with Jones about getting her household appliances :0D
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@englishtchrivy ·
$0.56
a home runner? a gym subscription? peace Mrs. Boom and Happy Birthday :)
I totally agree with the Old Dog - cash! cash! :D
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@jlufer ·
$0.03
The best gift for these cases dear friend @meesterboom, is a complete service of "Spa" massages, manicure, natural treatments with mud, in short all those things of relaxation.
I wish you many successes dear friend
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
You are an astute man @jlufer! I have a pedicure and massage booked for tomorrow!
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@therealpaul ·
$0.03
I'm usually pretty quick to come up with solutions to things like this, but this one took me a minute. I remembered that I was once a young father without a clue, and I got it: a body pillow. One (or two!) of those long pillows with the long pillowcases, and that's where another gift comes in- some different colored cases! While you're in that fluffy part of the store, you may spot something even better, but I don't think you can lose with the body pillow on this particular birthday.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
That s a real original idea! I am going to have a look for such a thing. I had seen them in hotels but never even thought. Splendid stuff. Cheers mate!
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@jedau ·
$0.05
Hahaha! First of all, happiest birthdays to your good lady. I didn't know she was a legend. Legends, after all, are born in August. Science has proven that already.

Well played, I must say. She has eliminated all of the obvious ones, and now has tasked you to come up with an innovative one to surprise her. But, I feel that in her quest to eliminate the obvious ones, she has narrowed the field quite a lot. If she has eliminated 98%, I implore you to think about the 2%. I have the utmost faith in you, Boomshakalaka. The fate of your union depends on this ever so crucial gift. I wanted to throw out suggestions, but this one needs to be intimate. No other person could suggest the correct gift. The next few years hinges on this pivotal choice. No pressure, dude ;)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
The next few years indeed! I am hoping that even if my choices are kak she will have such sleep deprivation over the coming onths that she will never really remember it.

Hahahaha, August is the month of champions for birthdays lol. I do remember reading it in some lofty science journal. Dash it, how do they know these things?
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@jedau ·
$0.03
You would have the chance to make up for it by being the doting, loving, manly man husband that you are!

They know these things because they run a statistical analysis by correlating the percentage of success associated with... **BECAUSE SCIENCE!!!**
👍  
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@aubreyfox ·
$0.03
Not even a lightsabre lol?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I mean who could refuse a lightsabre!!
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@krakonos ·
Ha, ha! It´s good.
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@scottish01 ·
$0.03
I reckon you just have to take this one on the chin, no matter what you choose to do in this most dangerous situation will satisfy your good wife, all previous rules have went out of the window ;-(

Do your best and brace for impact, in this instance there is nothing else to do!!!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
It is one of my favourite things to do is bracing for impact ;0)
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@whatamidoing ·
$0.78
I think a creative gift made of your own two hands is the only chocie you really have here.  For my woman, I would write a love letter on my body in chocolate ink and have her lick it off as she read it.  I hope that sparks your imagination.

Seems your wifes birthday is almost the same as mine X-D
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
Haha, that is a fabulous idea. I wonder though, it sounds a little like a present for me lol!!!

It's a good month for birthdays!
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@mrziaulkamal · (edited)
<b><a href="https://steemit.com/story/@mrziaulkamal/my-first-story">Happy birthday</a> </b>
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@yaan ·
Oh no! Trying to find a great present is so tiring up!
Only to be kicked in the chuff later :(
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@meesterboom ·
Yes, a terrible thing the kicking of the chuff ;O)
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@deleni ·
$0.03
I really like to give gifts!
And it's always so difficult, because I like to surprise.
Giving advice on gifts is very difficult.This is personal for close people.
Therefore, the decision is yours. But ideas are not superfluous.
Present something unusual or done by you personally! 
Well, naturally, flowers and happiness! 😉
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Something unusual is my middle name ;O)
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@clayboyn · (edited)
$0.03
I say you go for something so off the wall and unexpected that she is left speechless.  I'VE GOT IT!  Get her K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider, with or without optional Hasselhoff accessory:
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVz46BW24pQDJDoq8U7f2HkuKbA53j3LkQAX6R1m5sBy9/image.png)
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I am going to the shop right bloody now and they better have it!!
👍  
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@brianphobos ·
$0.03
It certainly is hard to know what to get!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Yeah, how dare they be picky so and so's :OD
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@sgnsteems ·
$0.03
You could get her perfume she might like, one of her favorite movies or CD's, a purse that she could use while taking things for baby as well.....just some suggestions :) Happy birthday to your lady!!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Hehe, you are right, those are good ideas! I will be adding them to the pot! :O)
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@sgnsteems ·
Great! Let us know what you end up getting and if you got it right :)
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@buzzbeergeek ·
$0.09
I admire you for the time you take to interact with everyone! I spent some tome yesterday browsing through it all. Funny how you say that she doesn't completely understand the steemit addiction. Have the same problem!

Good luck with the present. All I can say is I surreptitiously take notes during the year and try to pull a trick out of my sleeve when the time comes.  Ah, the lengths we go sometimes...
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
$0.03
Hey dude, I do exactly the same normally. Sneakily hitting down in my phone anything she says she likes then when it's presents time I am like, boof! There you go! The pregnancy thing has just complicated it this time grrrr.

It's weird isn't it, my other half has no problem spending the cash but assist from that thinks it's a silly boy hobby!!!

I do like to answer folk, sometimes I wonder if I am obsessed lolz!!
👍  
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@denisechips ·
$0.03
Pretty wise of you to make this post. Now there is proof of how much you are agonizing over this. So even if your gift is an epic fail 😱 (lol, just kidding) she will know that you really gave it a try & thought about it. My hubby has done little scavenger hunts for me with fresh cut flowers he picked himself, & a poem or drawing he made at the end. Since she is pregnant, just have the hunt take place in the backyard or house, so she doesnt have to go far. My husband had me climbing up hills etc. But I wasn't pregnant, so it was all good. All the best!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Well, pregnancy is a state of mind I always say so I had better get her out hunting over hill and dale!

I shall direct her back to your reply when she returns, exhausted and scraggly ;O)
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@choogirl ·
$0.03
A weekend away by herself!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
She would bloody love that!!!
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@choogirl ·
Exactly. It's what all mothers want.
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@wakeupsheeps ·
Bottle of Scotch and a carton of Smokes?
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@meesterboom ·
Sounds good to me ;0)
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@old-guy-photos ·
Well one must understand that the amount of pleasure a woman derives from a gift is DIRECTLY proportional to the amount of anguish and hardship they perceive said gift caused the giver.
I'm thinking a nice Canon 80D. Of course a nice macro lens, a telephoto lens, tripod, extra memory cards etc. You just tell her its all to take shots of the baby. And flowers. You see old boomdawg, you give what you secretly want yourself. Then over time the gift isn't used, you slowly start using it. The flowers just help ease the initial disappointment. I tell you its foolproof!!!! Pure genius. You can thank me later!
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