A reason to never start something new. by razvanelulmarin

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· @razvanelulmarin · (edited)
$98.87
A reason to never start something new.
I have this friend who wants to kind of change his career. He wants to go in a new business that requires a lot of training. To protect the innocents let's say it's cooking.
It's also important to note that my friend is around 35.

<center> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/3e/35/07/3e3507354253b56fb8f7d56c864bc120.jpg</center>

So, he's very determined to start in this direction, talked with people who were cooking and finally found a place to learn and grow. Conditions were alright given he was to be basically a junior cook. Yet, after a few days, my friend kind of gave up. He just stopped going, said he realized it's not for him and that was that. 
Very weird but I thought that it's not that unusual. A lot of times we want things that we sound a lot better and/or easier in our head than in reality, right?

A bit later though I had a longer chat with him and he said something that took me by surprise and changed my opinion of him to some degree. 
>Listen, the trainer was like 25, man! It was embarrassing for something so young to teach me. Who is she?!

Take a second to think about this. The AGE of a person who does something better than you was something my friend could not get past. Wow!
So I realized that it's actually not that common. It's difficult to see a cocky young person when you're heading toward middle age. It feels ridiculous to want to learn what they seem to be born to do: Programming. Social Media Wizardy. Making coffee. 

Normally, this is ok. If you take a hobby and someone young teaches you to like..climb. It's all good, you're happy to learn, even the most ego-driven of us are. But when it's SERIOUS...that's a different thing.
I think this is because, most of us, don't want to be seen dong the grunt work, the lowest work, being in the dirt, learning. Noobs.
Rookies.
and..older.
This is a very demeaning combination in our culture. Our ego gets in the way and yells like a panicked monkey:
**"I am better than that!!"**

Well, maybe not....

I like to think that it's a consequences of being too attached to our achievement and jobs. A good job = A good/important person. Being a junior nothing at 35 = Failure! Loser! 
In fact, it has little to do with anything. I feel that this mindset change, when you're starting out [ again ] or new at something is very important for long term success. It will ground you into realistic expectations and remind you why you do what you do.
Or else...
**The smallness of beginning can ruin a man's great potential.**
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vote details (184)
@scaredycatguide ·
$0.12
Yes - sound like a classic case of "the grass is always greener" and "not swallowing one's pride"

I don't care if someone is 25 or 65 if they are qualified to teach me what I need to know, then get'er done!
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@razvanelulmarin ·
Shouldn't be much pride to swallow in the first place!!
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@dwinblood ·
$0.04
Yeah I am not really swayed by age, gender, or race.   I tend to have blinders on for things like that.   None of that matters to me if the person can do the job.   I am willing and grateful to learn from anyone.

What DOES drive me crazy is people who claim to be really good at something and suck at it.    I've encountered a lot of people with impressive resumes and even as high as masters degrees that didn't have a clue what they were doing.

And yes I've encountered people with PhDs... a lady working on her third PhD comes to mind, who was clueless... I couldn't imagine how she got one, let alone was working on her third.

Then I ran into more and more of them within the job I was working at the time and I realized just how bad our higher education system has become.

All a degree really tells you for certainty these days is that a person 1) Put in some time, and 2) either spent a lot of money or is in massive debt.

For all other intents and purposes the degree is meaningless.   Might as well have gotten it as the surprise out of a Cracker Jacks box.

So if I am in a position to hire someone for fields I know that claims to have certain skills.    I make up hands on tests.    If they can do them or at least I see they have potential as I observe their attempts then I'll hire them degree or no degree.   I want people with passion, and an ability to either do the job or quickly learn to do it.
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vote details (4)
@razvanelulmarin ·
$0.02
That's a nice perspective. More and more people will wake up to this as time goes by that a degree is not necesarily all that much..it can be, of course especially from the best universities but there are a shitload of other factors to consider.
In this age discussion, I don't really mind because I know that my age thought me something that a youngster just does not understand yet. That's my edge. I might not know THIS or THAT but I know a lot of other "bigger picture" stuff that I think matter a lot...
What I mean is that any test should sniff the character and "temperament" of a person. It's mighty important...
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@dwinblood ·
$0.02
Yes it is.    In the fields I work in there is usually a glint, a passion, and excitement for the subject that comes through in discussion.   That is key.    Then can the person learn?   If they have those two things they usually end up being an awesome fit for the position.

If they took the degree because it was said to give good money and the only time they really did anything with it was to cram out an assignment, or prep for a test then they usually are not nearly as good at the job.

It is important if you can to find a job doing something you are really passionate about.    Though sometimes that is easier said than done.

Some people never find that thing, and never experience that level of passion.   Some of my kids (*all adults*) have still never experienced that.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Heading toward middle age eh.. cheeky f***ER LOL!!

You are right though, it really doesn't matter what you do at what age, its all about happiness and accepting what is is what is.
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@razvanelulmarin ·
i think you're knee deep in middle age, sorry my scottish amigo! :))
But the talent to enjoy your life is worth its weight in GOLD
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@meesterboom ·
Knee deep, why I am gonna hop onto the next plane and come over there and... Och, well I would but my knees are hurting hehe!! ;0)
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@alex13 ·
Great post! The first time I am am doing re-steeming! Well, this is new step to me! :)
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@ilovedietcoke ·
I'm in my mid thirties and my boss is in her mid twenties.  I respect her position and that she has earned it.  Her age is completely irrelevant.  

Also, for about a year I managed a business and my mom was one of my employees.  Talk about a role reversal!  I was younger than her but in a position of authority over her....it worked well for us although, I'm sure it wouldn't for most people.
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@razvanelulmarin ·
that's funny :))
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@ramengirl ·
In Korea, age is the most imprtant thing on any relationship. When we meet new people we ask 'How old are you?' instead of 'Nice to meet you'. I don't think younger people are less wiser than older people, just less experience. Thanks for the great article!
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@razvanelulmarin ·
Interesting. People in korea must be very happy to grow old!
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@foxxycat ·
$0.02
You sound like a therapist. Nice post
👍  
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@jakeag ·
Skill is greater than age. Its all relative
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@egregorian ·
$0.02
That's too bad for your friend, could have learned some amazing things!  I first noticed this that I was getting "older" when my new dentist was at least 5 years younger.  I thought, wow, that happened.  And he was awesome.
👍  
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@razvanelulmarin ·
love this!
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@yuriks2000 ·
$0.02
@razvanelulmarin your article made me realize why older people don't want to hear any advice or to learn anything new from me. When I rell them new information they tend to react like they knew about it before and that it is obvious))) even if it is not. 

And I do the same when I listen to people youger than me. It's an age thing that we need to cope with and learn to listen to the youngest and learn from them.
👍  
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@razvanelulmarin ·
knowing means you have control over it. I too have sometimes a default to " young ppl know nothing!!" then i'm humbled...
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@chrissymchavez ·
$0.02
Great post. Beginner's mind is such an important tool and way of thinking to keep yourself on that path of growth. Being at the bottom of the totem pole can be exciting and should be embraced -only way to go is up from there! I find myself consistently reaching out to those who are further ahead or have reached the goal I want to achieve for advice and it's always helpful. However, that advice always always always includes hard work! There's no substitute for drudging through the mud -you've got to love the process of improving to actually have a meaningful connection to that task/activity/skill in my opinion.
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@razvanelulmarin ·
"beginner's mind" I love this. I remember reading about "thinking like a child" from buddha's teaching. An important quality that we look down on in our western culture...
Thank you!
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