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<h3>How can a person aim for confidence? </h3> We are already under stress about being perfect (an illusion) in society.
Do this by taking command of your small areas of your life, and take an inventory of your self-confidence. By deep inner reflection, and concrete actions we can improve your competence, and your self-image.
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I would like outline a few things that could help you do that. None of them are revolutionary. All of them are useful.
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<h1>Here they are:</h1>
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1. Work on yourself and groom yourself to look like a million bucks. Self Pride is crucial. This physical aspect of confidence is from the outside in. The shower! The shave! The new haircut. They feel good. Even the new tattoo can haven new meaning. Art has always had the symbology behind it. Confidence is an inside out affair.
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2. Dress to impress. It doesn’t mean wearing an expensive outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are relaxing and comfortable that make you feel good on the inside. 
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3. Replace old behaviors. It is easy to say your going to quit an old habit, yet we forget that we can just replace it with a new one and run a new pattern with it. Changing your thoughts is through what you read, see, and hear. Take in new positive behavior changing information and act on it.
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4. Defeat your negative thoughts. Kill them slowly.  This is our toughest obstacle. The old negative thinking must fall away. No exceptions. Your negative self talk could end up being a old thought pattern returning. A way to do this is replace the old thought with new ones. A great phrase to get started is "I give myself permission to change this thought." This is a great place to start. The mere acceptance of the idea subconsciously can make a world of change.  You have to order yourself around. Be your own boss. If your mind says "I want to stay in bed." then it is time to say with force out loud. "You're going to get up now and do the laundry." Then count 3-2-1 and hop out of bed. Don't give your mind time to argue.  Be aggressive with your mind. Give an inch of mental argument and it will take not only a mile, but 5 miles.
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<h3>Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu</h3>
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5. Get to know yourself. Get to know your mind well. Start listening to your thinking. Echo it onto paper. Start writing a journal all about yourself. Get into your mind and really negotiate with it. Understand why you think the way you do. What resists persists. What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size! To get what you choose is to choose what you get. I choose something different. Say that to yourself "I choose to breathe clean air." Notice the words smoking was never uttered across this page. If  I was to add those words that could've been an issue.  "I choose to be calm." Rather than "I choose to have no anxiety." That will serve no positive function, and it will remind you of the issue rather than the obvious polar opposite solution. 
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6. Act! Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. Watch the speech you use. This can be an issue. If I refer to my girlfriend as the old ball and chain. Watch the language you use. Stay in action. Count 3-2-1 then take action immediately.
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<h3> One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe</h3>
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7. Get prepared. Be prepared, and plan. Make a good plan and understand that a small portion can change. Plan, plan, and keep on planning. Don't over think it. Get concise!
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8. Be flexible. Understand the plan may change, yet the goal may be the same. Ridged trees break in the wind. Be flexible and make adjustments.  Adjust where needed. 
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9. Know your values and live them.  Take an inner inventory of what you value. If I valued drugs. Then I would do everything in my power to get them. If I value material possessions. Then I do not value money. I value what I can buy with it. If I value money. I would do what I can to save, invest, and manage the spending. 
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10. Speak slowly and confidently. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to.  Speaking fast is usually a fast thinker. How else would the thoughts keep up with the mouth? When you learn to communicate. You regulate your words with flow along with the tonality. 
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11. Stand tall. I have horrible posture. I use to slouch alot. I now practice better posture and exercise has helped with that.
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12. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing in small bits. Just do small bits at a time.  Learning something? Practice step by step understand time is necessary. Then try to teach it to someone else for competency. The Feynman Technique.
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<h3>While we teach, we learn,” said the Roman philosopher Seneca.</h3>
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