I hope this does not sound too judgmental, but I do think you're suffering from something that needs to be addressed. Have you considered getting some mental health help? The kind of stuff that you've been doing is so anti-social, so damaging (first to others then to yourself) that it is worth looking into what is wrong inside yourself, as it's becoming really apparent that you recognize that something isn't right. That is my honest assessment, as I think there are good qualities within you, that are worth cultivating, but you're truly ruining it. As long as your aggression and violence is projected outwards, though, your life will not be very good on Steemit. It's really your choice.
Hey, if it helps in any way, I was an alcoholic, and I got angry at alot during the last phase. The drugs/drinking altered my brain so much.....I finally was able to get off the drugs, and it does make a huge difference in my behavior. I am working on empathy, and trying to get back feelings.
It's something that takes a lot of time.