What if today my life was to come to a close. Could my daughter know her father, how much he loved her, what kind of man he attempted to be? Would she look in the mirror under harsh lights, staring and thinking, raking her mind for answers.<div class="pull-right">https://i.imgur.com/xtrlcpz.jpg</div>

Am I like him?

And I would not be there to shed light, to strike a match in the darkness of her thoughts. The answers would be forever closed, forever sealed and the only key, was lost with me.

People could tell her what they knew, tell her the things I said. Will they be honest, charitable and transparent or, will they misrepresent? Will they omit details they are uncomfortable with and add their own versions. Will they raise me up higher than I deserve, or lower than themselves?

I cannot know and cannot predict the actions of others, the feelings they hold, their future agendas or their memory skills. I will not be there, it will be a trial in absentia and the only judge is her.

I have mentioned sometimes that I do this for my daughter and family's future and to add value where I can. I have tried to remain consistent and true to my aims which is to help where I am able, question where possible, inspire even a little.

I talked in a post about my honesty through my words here at Steemit and I have mentioned that a blog feed to me is the personality of a person. This is the blockchain, it is here with high fidelity for until the lights go out.

I lay down my words and they are a window into my world, the wealth of my experience, the workings of my brain, the questions that drive me and the aspirations I hold. I do this for the audience for there is value I think but, I do it mainly for her.

The words that are here show many conflicts, they also show my growth. They are far from complete as there is so much more to come but it is a step, a guide to how I move, live and love. There are times of emotion and wonder, times of annoyance and frustration and times I open myself completely, fearless.

Perhaps through my words, the photos the poems. She will get a look inside, an understanding of who her father was. She will read how I loved her and danced with her mother. She will learn of how I sacrificed and did all I could to do all I can.

She will read my comments and see how I treat people, she will read your comments and get perspective. This is here forever, am I willing to show her my work, let her see who her father is? Unfiltered this will remain, a testament of my creation, my craft, my positions and the things I hold dear.

For if today I were to fade and disappear, this is my legacy, here is who I am. Me. If she has nothing else, no hand to hold, she can always have a piece of my mind.

Taraz
[ a Steemit development ]

*My sister and I were speaking about something today and then realised we had quite a different view of the situation and that we will never know what the 'truth' was, as the only person we could actually ask, is no longer able to answer. My mother died from breast cancer in 2004. When we die, there are always going to be a lot of unanswered questions we leave behind and when I wrote this, I was thinking about what my daughter would never have answered if I was to go. Does it matter in the larger scheme of things? Unlikely, but it matters in each moment.*

Again, the original:
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@tarazkp/i-will-give-her-a-piece-of-my-mind