A lack of sensitivity: the emotionally stunted oppressor by tarazkp

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· @tarazkp ·
$2.85
A lack of sensitivity: the emotionally stunted oppressor
I have an acquaintance who had trouble conceiving and it took a few years for them to have a child. Now, if anyone makes a joke faking pregnancy, she launches into a rant on Facebook about how insensitive it is to those who have trouble or can't conceive at all.<div class="pull-right">https://i.imgur.com/vEdKIbt.jpg</div>

The other day in chat there was a conversation about someone who got injured and a joke was made about the wording used and the topic, and again there was an argument about how it is wrong to make fun of people's problems.

I understand their emotions but, I disagree strongly with their positions. What is *wrong* is to force people to behave in order to protect one's own lack of emotional control. What is *wrong* is to suppress people's opinions and humor because it is not in line with one's own views. What is *wrong* is to assume that those that make jokes about such things do not understand such things. 

Everyone wants to stand up and fight for the rights and condemn those who repress free speech, until their own feelings get hurt. The interesting thing about the second one is that they are an advocate for decentralization but, when it comes to emotions, they want to be protected, they want everyone to bow down to the authority that is their own ego.

The world is a little bit of a mess if people haven't noticed, and a large part of that mess is caused by every person wanting to be emotionally protected no matter their position, no matter their behaviour. This has lead to a situation where most people do not have the self-awareness and personal tools to deal with their own reactions to events.

So, instead of taking the time to look at themselves, untangle their emotional web, heal their wounds so they no longer have power over them; they censor others. They may even band together and form vigilante organisations to force submission, special interest groups to enact social change in order to protect their emotional weaknesses.

All so they don't actually have to face and come to terms with their own experiences. They want support for themselves though, they want pats on the back, their ego stroked. They want to build themselves up on the bodies of those who dare to speak, draw or write about anything they have deemed inappropriate, which is anything that *hurts* their feelings.

Censorship of the worst kind, that of people who do not understand the diversity of human experience and instead enforce their will onto others using their narrow view of life. They say their intentions are to protect the weak, but they are unwilling to admit that the weak is them.

The weak rarely need protecting, they need the chance to grow and to heal and this is not by avoiding their injuries as if they do not exist, it is by treating them at those points and giving the space to recover. That space is not an emotional 'safe space' where ignorance can reign, it is a space of self-discovery, creativity and curiosity.

This continual encouragement to avoid emotional conflict is creating an environment where people no longer have the emotional capabilities to handle even the smallest of reactions that arise from within them. There is no wonder the world is a mess. They are emotionally and intellectually stunted, they have grown in an environment without pressure to strengthen, gravity pull them to earth. 

But, they feel free to roam the internet with their diatribe and expect they are protected there too. Their coddled and siloed experiences of a false reality have not prepared them for the real world and when they start to falter, they claim unfairness and bigotry against this group or another and demand an authority repress them. So much for free speech.

It seems that free speech is only free for those in favor in the moment and that can change at anytime. Something these types of people fail to recognize. The seem to think that it will always be their group that is in the *right* and protected by all manners of laws and regulations. If the authority they rely on changes its flag, they are in trouble.

Resilience is a beautiful thing and if one can't remain resilient against words, how do they expect to face the real issues that pressure our world? How to ease the suffering of all of those millions, billions in some cases, when the only position that is important is the emotion security of their own ego? 

They do not want to see this reflected in their mirror though, so they choose not to look. They try to turn the mirror on those who would see humor in disaster and pain, who will laugh and joke about difficulties but, it will rarely work. 

Most of those willing to joke about life's challenges, have already experienced the trials, been in hardship, suffered enough that they have looked deep into a mirror already, faced their demons and healed. This is why they can smile, this is why they are emotionally free.

It is not they who are insensitive, it is those who look to oppress them.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
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vote details (54)
@denmarkguy ·
$0.05
Seems to me we increasingly live in a world where everyone wants the freedom to *have* their opinion, but at the same time they want to be "protected" from the *consequences* of having aforesaid opinion. And in order to make that possible (not!) people increasingly align with groupthink where it's not actually *their own* opinion, but the group's, that matters.

And then that becomes a "defense," in some situations: *"Well, it wasn't really ME, but our group believes...."*
👍  ,
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@tarazkp ·
Yes, it is *never* them. Always someone else to blame when it doesn't go the way they want it to go.
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@baah ·
Exactly, it goes both ways, especially if you make an insensitive joke, be ready for the back lash as is right, not everyone finds your humor funny and they shouldn't and we can take offense and we don't need to tolerate such speech, and you should BOO, and jeer, and heckle to your heart's content, as freedom of speech dictates. It's got nothing to do with healing trauma but everything to do with ones values, usually "trauma" is not something people step into attention because, but in spite of, and rightly so since nobody wants to readily and willing relive trauma simply to make a stand on moral grounds, outside the righteous masochists.
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@deirdyweirdy ·
Well said! I saw this cartoon a few days ago which apparently drew considerable criticism after it was tweeted. Is it offensive? I thought it was clever and amusing. Isn't the idea of a cartoon that it's supposed to poke fun?

(https://steemitimages.com/DQmUXDpuMzPY6o5T3ydyY3h6DhmFZfxq4RnTeG7xMRtFFxD/image.png)
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@evolved08gsr ·
Slightly insensitive from a "too soon" point of view. But maybe it hurts because it's true? That's usually why people get offended - when they are embarrassed by the truth.
👍  
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@evolved08gsr ·
So much truth in here! I had to Re-Steem this. 

Great post, @tarazkp!
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@soo.chong163 ·
It is usually those who lack any measure of self-control who crusade against external evils.  They attempt to calm the storms of their internal chaos by controlling and orgainzing their environment.  Anyone with obsessive cleaning habits and frequent uses of "may I" and "if you please" likely has corpses buried in his backyard.

The emotionally stunted usually end up becoming "reformers."  Smash open a head of any reformer, and you will find head full of evil ideas to destroy a civil society.
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@ahmadmanga ·
This post made me think a lot... because I think I'm (or was) emotionally weak too. and I'm treating others with my own rules (you'll notice if you see a lot of my comments). I still won't say that they have to change their rules though... If they don't want to be treated by my own rules? "just don't talk to me."

> What is wrong is to assume that those that make jokes about such things do not understand such things.

I totally agree with this line... actually I and my brother only joke on things we had bad/hard and can't do something about them... instead of feeling bad about them we turn them to jokes.

> The world is a little bit of a mess if people haven't noticed, and a large part of that mess is caused by every person wanting to be emotionally protected no matter their position, no matter their behaviour.

I agree with that too... But not everyone is strong enough to handle emotional damage, yeah some people can be strong if they given the chance... others might break if they're not protected.

> Most of those willing to joke about life's challenges, have already experienced the trials, been in hardship, suffered enough that they have looked deep into a mirror already, faced their demons and healed. This is why they can smile, this is why they are emotionally free.

And this ^ part supports what I said above about me and my brother.

-----------
The sad part... if there was a place that truly has "freedom of speech" that place will become very toxic... that most of people will run away from that place. 

yeah I agree that we need more "freedom" but at the same time you can't let things like scammers/thieves/spammers/liars free to say what they want... they'll make any place worse if we let them.
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@baah ·
>I totally agree with this line... actually I and my brother only joke on things we had bad/hard and can't do something about them... instead of feeling bad about them we turn them to jokes.

At the same time joking about the past which you cannot do something about doesn't translate directly to joking about what you understand but merely on what you think you understand. Also joking about some trauma or hardship doesn't constitute healing the trauma that you're joking about or empowering you to deal with successive trauma better, it's all about intention when it comes to that, as is with jokes: you can joke to avoid understanding, or you can joke to incite deeper understanding (self inquiry). 

We are all unique, what some think they understand might not jive with what other's think they understand even if they have been through similar things. 

>yeah I agree that we need more "freedom" but at the same time you can't let things like scammers/thieves/spammers/liars free to say what they want... they'll make any place worse if we let them.

You cannot stop liars, spammers, plagiarizers, and it shouldn't be our aim either, and freedom of speech is Present and Perfected here on the blockchain, every single moment because of that aim. 


>if there was a place that truly has "freedom of speech" that place will become very toxic... that most of people will run away from that place.


That is the fact here, not a hypothetical if.

You can comment and post and do whatever you want, to your heart's content more or less (you can even spam, but everyone gets the same bandwith more or less)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@ahmadmanga ·
> > if there was a place that truly has "freedom of speech" that place will become very toxic... that most of people will run away from that place.
>
> That is the fact here, not a hypothetical if.

see?

-----------

> You can comment and post and do whatever you want, to your heart's content more or less (you can even spam, but everyone gets the same bandwith more or less)

yeah, that's the best thing here...

And other things you said in this comment, makes me think more about it.... 

> You cannot stop liars, spammers, plagiarizers, and it shouldn't be our aim either, and freedom of speech is Present and Perfected here on the blockchain, every single moment because of that aim.

**EDIT: below is just ranting**

I don't think we can stop them either... but at least we can restrict them?... well, I don't think that's fair too.... **Freedom vs Security** is a hard thing to balance.

--------------

I'll just keep what I'm doing... give "advice" when I see anyone doing something wrong, until we reach an agreement (or disagreement). If I was the wrong I'll be happy to change, but the definition of right and wrong is subjective... and it's hard to respect that.

Hope I (we) be better at understanding!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@glosarlo ·
Best friend
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