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If you have read my previous blog about "is it toxic masculinity?", you would know that I have been operating out of my masculine side of my yin yang for work and many other aspects of my life. I realised about 6 to 7 months ago now that I actually don't enjoy this. It is not my natural state. I enjoy doing girly things like going to the hairdresser, pampering myself, getting my nails done, having coffee with my girlfriends, and of course, the one we all know, shopping. 

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So what did I decide to do about it? Well firstly I did what anyone operating our of their masculine traits would do.... I researched. I looked up the difference between masculine traits and feminine traits, here are only a small handful:

Masculine traits are logical, linear, direct, money focused, present, strong (physically), are protectors and they focus on getting things done.

Feminine traits focus on nurturing, healing, love, emotional strength, are flowy like the ocean (rising and crashing waves), and enjoy being  protected and taken care of. 

Now remember, each one of us has all of these traits. We are one whole yin yang. We choose which half we operate out of every second of every day and we can flip between sides within moments. 

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This research enabled me to see that for most of my life I have chosen to operate out of my masculine side. After seeing what the feminine traits are, I was then able to shift my focus into actively taking steps to be more in my feminine. Different things work for different people but for me it started off with basic things: matching my underwear with my clothes, putting on make up, wearing clothes that made me feel feminine (like pretty skirts), I took up dancing which I loved before and gave up years ago, I started doing my hair and nails regularly. I learnt how to massage (women are natural healers, hence why we are mums), and I started my reiki course. 

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I started doing as many feminine traits on that list as possible,  including the big one - allowing myself to be emotional. Women are like the ocean. Our waves (emotions) rise which is when we are so giving and loving and attentive, and then they come crashing down. This bit happens when we feel resentful our actions aren't being met by someone else. When we feel unappreciated, undervalued, or even just sad in general. Learning to feel the feeling and then release it was a huge challenge for me. Being brought up in a European household I was always taught not to show that someone has upset me, brave face, chin up, stay strong. All the while, I never knew you actually had to "feel it to heal it". I learnt this from my healer. A very feminine, beautiful (inside and out) reiki master who has helped me on my journey more than she will ever know. 

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I am still on my path of self discovery and I know I still have a long way to go. I hope I am forever growing and my journey continues to be this exciting experience. Where one day I can look back on my life and be so grateful for everything that has happened to me, both good and bad... because it has brought me to where I am today. 

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If you have any questions about my journey or you would like to get in touch with me regarding mine and my partner's coaching business, "Growth For Success", check out our webpage, growthforsuccess.com or our facebook page. You'll also find us on Instagram along with our other company, Om Shanti Massage. Grab a coffee and have a look. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. This has been a very personal journey, one I was hesitant about sharing but I am now glad I did. 

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