Hey @stellabelle 
Nice article, thank you for being with us!
Want more your posts :)

Thanks for the post, makes you think about your life

Great message here. I really suggest to anyone who feels bad to speak to someone. A fault confessed is half redressed and speaking about the own problems proves real strength. Just remeber: you are not alone and there are always people who care about you

This post moved me..

Wow!  Firstly, thank you for speaking up and expressing yourself.  I think you will not regret it as I am willing to bet that keeping shit secret even compounds the issues.  

Keep your head up... Impossible advice I know, but trust that one day something will click.  It might be a book you read, a drug, a lifestyle or work change, a meditative concept, a diet, or actually none or all of the above.  There is no ONE thing wrong with you.  Every aspect of life creates a sum effect on life's quality.  

I won't give you specific advice as I don't know you, but I truly am glad you did take the time to share this pseudo-anonymously with the world.

First off, my thoughts and prayers are with you. If there is anything specific we can do to help, let us know.

Too many people who need help are not getting it (for a variety of reasons). It is often times difficult to talk about mental illness, not just for those people suffering through the anguish, but also for loved ones and friends. It is easier said than done, but we really need to get away from the negative stigma associated with mental illnesses. 

As @stellabelle says: we have to speak up and stop hiding behind stigma.

This might help the secret writer: I was depressed, really to the point that I wanted to kill myself many years ago, but I made it out. I am not taking drugs anymore either. I'm not sure if it will help but your mind needs to focus on something that brings you joy.  Look back into your childhood....what things were you doing then? For me, I had penpals, loads of them. I wrote to a different pen pal every day, and every day I would receive a letter in the mail. For me, that was my source of happiness, something to look forward to. Now I have the Secret Writer thing. It's also something I look forward to, something that takes my mind off of myself. Turning inwards too much is destructive. I recommend that you start to rediscover what things make you feel better, then do those things.
You can get better, I'm an example of that kind of recovery. I no longer want to die. I still get anxious, but I'm not obsessed with my own death anymore.
Oh, and just so you don't feel alone, I used to cut myself too. Not too much, but I did do it. Also, used to make my stomach hurt on purpose at work. I'd push myself into my desk in such a way that it jutted into my stomach, making me feel pain every day. I was addicted to hurting myself. 

Honestly, what helped me the most was writing a book about these things. It took a lot of courage, but once I was done, and people who knew me read it, it was like, "Oh well, that's the real me. No more hiding, no more shame." My life sort of opened up at that moment because I was forced to take a hard look at what I had become.

I would very much like to read more content from this writer. What they feel they've discovered about what might be motivating the behaviors, their analysis of what these experiences are like in the moment.

 I agree that the stigma we attach to issues of the mind is one of the hardest to breach. I also feel that writing about it at all helps to unravel some of the knots, so I hope she keeps at it.

A disturbing post. We are with you if it is any help...

I can't even begin to relate to your situation. I won't even pretend that I can relate.

I am in no position to dictate you anything but ... [William Glasser](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Glasser) has said that everything in life is your choice.

What a fantastic post, I've grown up watching my mother suffering with mental insecurities because of her childhood; I often wonder what would have happened to me if my father hadn't been able to deal with it and continuously shield my sister and I from it?!   So often these things are overlooked or never spoken about, it's not a taboo subject; it's something that we all have to deal with through a family member or within society. My father, who passed away 12 years ago must have been so strong, his love for us and my mother was unquestionable; and I think that's where his strength came from!!

http://www.shadowdance.info/magazine/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/man_of_steel.jpg

Yet again the secret writer program shows just how essential it is. As a special education teacher I have a lot of students labeled with an "emotional disorder". The hardest part of my job is seeing these wonderful, creative kids suffer and hurt themselves. They know I care. Which is a tiny help, but I'm not an expert. If their arm was broken, they would also know I care... but it wouldn't fix their arm. I really hope that some day, it will be as easy and as second nature to seek out mental help when needed as it is to go to the dentist (we take better care of our teeth than our psyches?) Our school has 4 amazing social workers... for 4000 kids. It's insane. This country needs to wake up and realize that mental health matters. Secret writer. Pleas get the help you need and deserve.  There is a way to live a happy life. Don't give up on it.

Good morning @stellabelle

I personally have family that has suffered from this and it is very hard. It's tough because when you see it from the outside you think it should not be so hard, you have to put yourself in those shoes.

In my particular case when that person explained to me how they felt and why it helped them most :) , it felt real good to help someone naturally.

What I think is hard to understand is how people hurt themselves on purpose. :(

Thank you for sharing!

#takeiteasy

Depression and powerful mood swings can really produce terrifying thoughts sometimes.

But when the same thoughts gradually begin to stop feeling so terrifying and scary ...  that is the most terrifying realization.

Very sincere and touching message. Thanks for doing this, our unknown friend. The pure you is your honesty, keep it by all means. 

Everyone has his vices, his weaknesses, his faults. I am sure that everyone has a story to tell on this subject. And I remember being totally lost in this regard. I tried different ways to revive myself. But nothing seemed to help.

Maybe for some people this is going to sound primitive or weird, but I believe that only God is able to help in such situations. And I have personal experience of this. We can run away from Him constantly. But at some point we will see that we are unable to help ourselves. And nobody at this moment can help us except Him. He is a loving Father ready to forgive us all our mistakes. He is a loving Friend, willing to help us in the most desperate situation. And all that is required of us is to simply refer to Him sincerely. Just admit your mistakes and ask for help from Him. I believe that this is the only sure way out of this maze.

The pure you is your honesty, keep it by all means. If you're honest, you'll be heard. And help will come. No doubt.

this is a distubing post for me .Stil fighting demons thats hiding behind evry corner. Stil you have my upvote.
<a target='_BLANK' href='https://ipfs.pics/QmbDU4eiwUG9tgS2pkVkstpGUoYcdNAznP5yZXPuHcV2VR'><img src='https://ipfs.pics/ipfs/QmbDU4eiwUG9tgS2pkVkstpGUoYcdNAznP5yZXPuHcV2VR'/></a>

That's a big and important thing: to speak up and help other people to do the same.I really like the way you see those things. I'm glad I found steemit and saw a lot of interesting and helpful stuff.

Good afternoon. Your article is very useful. I voted for you.

Good afternoon. Your article is very useful. I voted for you.

you are genius! excellent post. upvoted me? please!

Having to deal with a so called "mental illness" as well I wish anyone with such the very best.  One thing I would like to mention is the importance of nutrition and possible change of environment.  Also if anyone would like me to write about some aspect of this, please feel free to let me know.  Eventually I will be writing to hopefully give some hope and ways to live and be better to some degree.

Ohhhh man... I did not know writing about it and sharing it would bring in some more emotions. Reading what some of you guys have written is overwhelming I didn't know some words could actually make me smile like they did in some of the responses. I did not expect to feel this way I was just venting about my issues and dangerous habits. I am really grateful of what you are doing for people like me.

Very powerful post. Many people do not want go talk about mental illness but its becoming more known and there are more cases daily. Its hard to struggle with something that you have and you have no control for. At least you have come out and put it out there. Thats a great start!  It helps a little to talk about it.

Wow, what an inspiring post! 
You are right that mental illness is something that's not talked about enough. People have to understand that it IS an illness, just as bad as physical pain. This needs to change, the stigma around this topic is way too negative. awesome idea to shine light on the topic this way. stay strong! You said yourself you're a positive person so don't give up!

This story really touched me so much . It hurts me to know that  selfdestructive  behavior is treated with chemicals , so called medicine can't be the answer . I tried it with love , tons of hugs  and understanding with a very close and dear one , nothing worked . The cuts got deeper ,  more hair pulled and I was pushed away further .  I feel helpless and have to be just patient  that some therapist might be efficient enough to help healing . You really made me cry with this story and it's only one of  many many more . 🌸