 The blood of my brothers stain the moulds. I'm tossing and turning in the middle of night as these bleats echo in my subconscious. This is 2018 and we're still living under man's tyranny. Their disgusting ways and love for destruction annoys me to the bones. My nights are always cut short, sleep evades my torrid soul, my brothers quiver in fear and die by the hands of these monsters.  These bleats will not go unpunished, my people have been reduced to meat and beasts of burden, we harmlessly graze, feeding in silence and roam the earth with love. Our droppings fertilize the moulds in which these monsters grow their food, our milk nourishes their belly and is used for beauty products. Yet what do we get in return? We are bred like meat, treated with contempt and our women are raped by weirdos like @amirtheawesome1.  Its the festive period again and they're at it. Murdering us in our numbers in the name of food. These bastards think they can get away this, singing Christmas songs, drinking eggnog and acting gay. Our time cometh, the year of the goat. We will arm ourselves and our bleats will be the last thing they here before they die. We will impale their women with our horns and enslave their children; we cannot eat their men, they'll be our slaves. Beware the year of the Goat comes.  I nominate @diebitch and @amirtheawesome1 to make entries.
| post_id | 67,861,786 | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| author | belemo | ||||||
| permlink | goat-uprising-curious-tales-of-christmas-36c347f7f92c6 | ||||||
| category | comedyopenmic | ||||||
| json_metadata | {"format":"markdown+html","users":["amirtheawesome1","diebitch","amirtheawesome1"],"image":["https:\/\/img.esteem.ws\/xig0des4e8.jpg"],"community":"esteem","app":"esteem\/1.6.0","tags":["comedyopenmic","esteem","wafrica","christmas","funny"],"links":[]} | ||||||
| created | 2018-12-24 16:44:54 | ||||||
| last_update | 2018-12-24 16:44:54 | ||||||
| depth | 0 | ||||||
| children | 2 | ||||||
| net_rshares | 1,790,802,549,090 | ||||||
| last_payout | 2018-12-31 16:44:54 | ||||||
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 | ||||||
| total_payout_value | 0.680 SBD | ||||||
| curator_payout_value | 0.212 SBD | ||||||
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD | ||||||
| promoted | 0.000 SBD | ||||||
| body_length | 1,558 | ||||||
| author_reputation | 168,525,904,475,075 | ||||||
| root_title | "Goat Uprising: Curious Tales of Christmas" | ||||||
| beneficiaries |
| ||||||
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD | ||||||
| percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 | ||||||
| author_curate_reward | "" |
| voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| tombstone | 0 | 400,665,533,703 | 1.8% | ||
| kevinwong | 0 | 352,824,995,567 | 4.5% | ||
| mrwang | 0 | 182,625,723 | 2.25% | ||
| arconite | 0 | 1,316,611,577 | 2.25% | ||
| kiraxoy | 0 | 2,638,306,094 | 4% | ||
| dexter-k | 0 | 6,177,407,597 | 4% | ||
| alamcraft | 0 | 439,578,043 | 100% | ||
| jewierart | 0 | 119,096,050 | 100% | ||
| audrybie | 0 | 121,759,800 | 100% | ||
| novemlawalata | 0 | 128,423,204 | 100% | ||
| littlemozart | 0 | 162,845,297 | 100% | ||
| dentara | 0 | 126,309,252 | 100% | ||
| hatta | 0 | 619,285,766 | 100% | ||
| coolenglish | 0 | 2,771,562,284 | 4% | ||
| rahul.stan | 0 | 4,166,353,974 | 20% | ||
| gundulkibo | 0 | 118,211,415 | 100% | ||
| riyansyahbp | 0 | 118,497,120 | 100% | ||
| chairulfadlin | 0 | 126,180,723 | 100% | ||
| thegreatsilaban | 0 | 2,077,331,834 | 100% | ||
| fajrieffendi | 0 | 134,119,523 | 100% | ||
| mrmuktiii | 0 | 448,929,305 | 100% | ||
| babel | 0 | 475,173,379 | 100% | ||
| acwood | 0 | 3,181,105,339 | 4% | ||
| dune69 | 0 | 2,495,840,072 | 4% | ||
| eet25 | 0 | 447,161,309 | 100% | ||
| staticinstance | 0 | 80,591,343,551 | 4% | ||
| mxzn | 0 | 3,900,819,349 | 4% | ||
| sam99 | 0 | 3,898,016,273 | 4% | ||
| akiyoshispartan | 0 | 593,235,684 | 50% | ||
| fauzi03 | 0 | 1,993,442,279 | 100% | ||
| rizalmaulana | 0 | 603,865,327 | 100% | ||
| fikrahaikal | 0 | 119,071,940 | 100% | ||
| jonbit | 0 | 4,788,959,229 | 4% | ||
| twoitguys | 0 | 2,227,621,835 | 4% | ||
| doktormuslem | 0 | 14,048,776,830 | 31% | ||
| sanmi | 0 | 2,604,182,490 | 4% | ||
| bigdeej | 0 | 37,221,055,306 | 4% | ||
| larrydavid4 | 0 | 4,475,557,596 | 4% | ||
| grandpawhale | 0 | 66,352,987,694 | 4% | ||
| nurhayati | 0 | 855,004,086 | 2.25% | ||
| shadowbot | 0 | 2,447,914,083 | 4% | ||
| zord189 | 0 | 6,365,692,644 | 4% | ||
| sam.hsuu | 0 | 689,783,680 | 4% | ||
| nanastraybutt | 0 | 102,929,751 | 4% | ||
| explorernations | 0 | 332,848,715 | 2% | ||
| boruniraja | 0 | 447,155,639 | 100% | ||
| acolucky | 0 | 80,727,228,610 | 100% | ||
| notimetospace | 0 | 524,192,101 | 4% | ||
| isaideureka | 0 | 8,088,883,238 | 100% | ||
| ekushya | 0 | 8,371,812,224 | 4% | ||
| zoltarian | 0 | 3,963,060,401 | 4% | ||
| embomb701 | 0 | 2,630,077,058 | 4% | ||
| fadlin | 0 | 447,161,414 | 100% | ||
| iamthegray | 0 | 994,167,688 | 4% | ||
| idikuci | 0 | 9,809,062,713 | 26.1% | ||
| rantar | 0 | 2,132,491,408 | 4% | ||
| anggaariska | 0 | 483,367,418 | 100% | ||
| bitfiend | 0 | 7,304,842,425 | 26.1% | ||
| holybranches | 0 | 8,498,522,587 | 35% | ||
| bulimbabitch | 0 | 2,537,374,048 | 25% | ||
| belemo | 0 | 10,402,286,809 | 50% | ||
| cryptoconnector | 0 | 7,210,834,025 | 4% | ||
| steemkeno | 0 | 71,912,036 | 50% | ||
| amicus | 0 | 2,313,084,482 | 3.9% | ||
| samirich | 0 | 7,641,198,677 | 70% | ||
| jedi-won | 0 | 15,587,644,695 | 100% | ||
| freddysanchez | 0 | 3,780,123,239 | 4% | ||
| jerome-morales | 0 | 1,525,295,897 | 100% | ||
| disguarpe | 0 | 1,760,281,498 | 25% | ||
| take5 | 0 | 16,230,659,540 | 100% | ||
| ange.nkuru | 0 | 2,638,244,617 | 100% | ||
| wanaf | 0 | 307,695,735 | 4% | ||
| retinox | 0 | 6,824,947,267 | 4% | ||
| ezravandi | 0 | 451,170,569 | 2.29% | ||
| ramon72 | 0 | 161,699,017 | 35% | ||
| traffy | 0 | 75,142,120 | 50% | ||
| comedyopenmic | 0 | 467,107,396,824 | 26.1% | ||
| fromthebeginning | 0 | 420,921,487 | 50% | ||
| granolalight | 0 | 149,950,540 | 50% | ||
| camillesteemer | 0 | -54,488,787 | -100% | ||
| reactionaries | 0 | 62,419,191 | 100% | ||
| steemcomedyclub | 0 | 1,195,660,621 | 50% | ||
| blewitt | 0 | 17,342,825,948 | 4% | ||
| sajkus | 0 | 2,302,280,538 | 4% | ||
| comedyschool | 0 | 5,194,494,740 | 50% | ||
| dcomedyclub | 0 | 152,137,209 | 50% | ||
| horriblesteemian | 0 | 3,586,766,504 | 100% | ||
| com-judge | 0 | 1,959,123,527 | 50% | ||
| johannpiber | 0 | 12,529,187,390 | 5% | ||
| sbi10 | 0 | 32,191,225,741 | 48.4% | ||
| yuba.wallace | 0 | 1,038,043,338 | 100% | ||
| hilary.clinton | 0 | 3,520,638,146 | 100% | ||
| orphansofdoom | 0 | 1,099,328,508 | 100% | ||
| musicfan | 0 | 752,224,957 | 100% | ||
| the.punisher | 0 | 1,392,221,524 | 100% | ||
| layneebug | 0 | 3,487,629,628 | 100% | ||
| ryleebear | 0 | 3,509,000,301 | 100% | ||
| teamfightclub | 0 | 1,372,256,744 | 100% | ||
| teambull | 0 | 253,332,984 | 100% |
Hi belemo, Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge). This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.) #### Judges: - @take5 - @ange.nkuru - @idikuci If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny) <center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1"> <img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;"> </a> <sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>
| post_id | 67,861,901 |
|---|---|
| author | steemcomedyclub |
| permlink | re-goat-uprising-curious-tales-of-christmas-36c347f7f92c6-20181224t164813z |
| category | comedyopenmic |
| json_metadata | {"app":"beem\/0.20.14"} |
| created | 2018-12-24 16:48:12 |
| last_update | 2018-12-24 16:48:12 |
| depth | 1 |
| children | 0 |
| net_rshares | 1,961,370,054,546 |
| last_payout | 2018-12-31 16:48:12 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.828 SBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.221 SBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| promoted | 0.000 SBD |
| body_length | 1,166 |
| author_reputation | 10,551,964,788,902 |
| root_title | "Goat Uprising: Curious Tales of Christmas" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
| percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 |
| author_curate_reward | "" |
| voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| dj123 | 0 | 46,356,774,146 | 99.99% | ||
| idikuci | 0 | 37,563,386,511 | 100% | ||
| bondy007 | 0 | 3,010,358,538 | 100% | ||
| bitfiend | 0 | 28,542,157,077 | 100% | ||
| steemnsfw | 0 | 9,443,548,110 | 100% | ||
| yourmaker | 0 | 9,846,167,793 | 57.43% | ||
| dwainus | 0 | 23,297,357,949 | 100% | ||
| comedyopenmic | 0 | 1,779,496,845,517 | 99.9% | ||
| comedyschool | 0 | 10,747,036,737 | 100% | ||
| chillibeans | 0 | 3,510,831,077 | 100% | ||
| sammygarth | 0 | 260,845,957 | 100% | ||
| wargamer | 0 | 142,235,203 | 100% | ||
| com-judge | 0 | 4,086,285,205 | 100% | ||
| danieljavier | 0 | 670,930,889 | 100% | ||
| votes4minnows | 0 | 389,038,702 | 3% | ||
| theycallmebaka | 0 | 3,764,618,186 | 100% | ||
| qong | 0 | 241,636,949 | 50% |
Congratulations @belemo! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) : <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@belemo/votes.png?201812271938</td><td>You made more than 20000 upvotes. Your next target is to reach 21000 upvotes.</td></tr> </table> <sub>_[Click here to view your Board](https://steemitboard.com/@belemo)_</sub> <sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub> **Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:** <table><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/christmas/@steemitboard/christmas-challenge-send-a-gift-to-to-your-friends-the-party-continues"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/kf4SJb.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/christmas/@steemitboard/christmas-challenge-send-a-gift-to-to-your-friends-the-party-continues">Christmas Challenge - The party continues</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/christmas/@steemitboard/christmas-challenge-send-a-gift-to-to-your-friends"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/kf4SJb.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/christmas/@steemitboard/christmas-challenge-send-a-gift-to-to-your-friends">Christmas Challenge - Send a gift to to your friends</a></td></tr></table> > Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!
| post_id | 67,986,797 |
|---|---|
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-belemo-20181227t201656000z |
| category | comedyopenmic |
| json_metadata | {"image":["https:\/\/steemitboard.com\/img\/notify.png"]} |
| created | 2018-12-27 20:16:54 |
| last_update | 2018-12-27 20:16:54 |
| depth | 1 |
| children | 0 |
| net_rshares | 0 |
| last_payout | 2019-01-03 20:16:54 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| promoted | 0.000 SBD |
| body_length | 1,591 |
| author_reputation | 38,705,954,145,809 |
| root_title | "Goat Uprising: Curious Tales of Christmas" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
| percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 |