Being visually impaired: Who would I be if I was not visually impaired? by boosje123

steemit · @boosje123 · Jun 7 '17

$90.99

Being visually impaired: Who would I be if I was not visually impaired?

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<p>&nbsp;I know it doesn’t look like a very helpful question at first. I am who I am. I am visually impaired and up till now there is no cure and my vision loss can only get worse. So Why do I think about who I would be if I did not became visually impaired? &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<img src="https://scontent-amt2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14494792_1198199570246055_2074134816443907408_n.jpg?oh=28a16b1c298c3496a2dc8fb270dca51c&amp;oe=59AEA87F" width="720" height="960"/><br>
 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<em>Just me with my telescope glasses. Have you heard of the eSight? Look it up!</em><br>
</p>
<p>It often started as something negative. Of course I do not want to be visually impaired. Losing your central vision at the age of 14 is not so much fun. Seeing about 5% or potentially less for the rest of your life is not something you dream of as a child. So I often wondered what my life would look like if I did not suffer from Stargardt’s Disease (macular degeneration). <br>
 I could see myself driving a car, driving to work or bring my future kids to school or sports. I could see myself enjoying a good book while comfortably sitting on a couch. I could see myself talking to a lot of people, saying hi to everyone across the street. Maybe going on an adventure, I could see myself traveling, snowboarding, karting, or doing whatever I wanted to do haha (not that I’ve ever snowboarded or karted but still). &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>But thinking of these things, knowing that I will not be able to do them without any extra effort or hard work (compared to normal sighted people), it made me more sad than I already was. So I knew it was not very helpful to think of those things. That ‘what if’ thinking. It made me realize what I did not have and what I could not do. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>Until I changed it around. You see, you can also look at it from the bright side. I study healthpsychology and technology so as a psychologist I like to analyse things, including my own behaviour. I started to look at the things in life that made me unhappy, in this case, the things regarding my vision loss. I was trying to look at what exactly it was that made me feel bad. Was it the fact that I am not allowed to drive or was it the fact that my independence was negatively affected. And what could I do about it? I could learn how to take the bus instead, I could learn how to ask for help. But especially, I could learn how to accept it. It is okay to need help (and not being afraid or feel burdened to ask for it). &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>I also felt that it was too bad that I could not just talk to everyone I saw, or that I did not recognize the people around me. It can make you feel dependent and isolated. But what was the source of my negative feelings? Again, it was not just the ‘not recognizing people’, but the insecurity to just say something or to ask for help (from strangers or whoever). &nbsp;</p>
<p>My visual impairment was holding me back from being me. That was not what I wanted. So by thinking.. who I would be if I wasn’t visually impaired? I was probably more outgoing, more spontaneous, more free. And then I started thinking.. why can’t I just be that while also being visually impaired? My impairment should not hold me back. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>This whole thinking process did not come to me in one day, nor will the outcome of my goals. But by reminding myself of this question ‘who would I be’ helps me focus on what I want in life and who I want to be. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>When I really really really take a good look at the things I actually cannot do. There Is only one thing. I mean, I can read a book (it takes me longer but still), I can study (my eyes are bad but my brain works just fine), I can probably snowboard (If I just practice like everybody else does, but probably not in a crowded place). And I can say hi to people across the street (if I can see them), I just need scream a little bit louder haha. Like I said, there is only one thing I really cannot do. And that is driving a car. BUT, as I always say to the people around me. I CAN drive, I am just not allowed to haha! &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>And that is why I am (amongst others) a bad ass pole dancing, psychology studying, race bicycling, running, swimming, family loving and long-term relationship having, visually impaired person! &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>Who do you want to be? &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p><a href="https://steemit.com/@boosje123">@boosje123</a> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
</html>

👍 thejohalfiles, ats-david, roadscape, trafalgar, r2cornell, jchch, ilanaakoundi, mynameisbrian, michelle.gent, bacchist, ourlifestory, greymass, l0k1, ericwoelk, ebargains, thylbom, littlescribe, burnin, borran, boosje123, steemprentice, wingz, penambang, gikitiki, writingamigo, hitmeasap, schro, shellyduncan, passion-fruit, paxmagnus, ninkhisibir, jonathanxvi, irawandedy, will-zewe, bestoftherest, gildar, reisman, omarrium, praz735u5, pangur-ban, hebro, evildeathcore, numpypython, crawfish37, prameshtyagi, surreal, dirty.hera, lukinsawyer, toscos, leomichael, varunsangwan, steembets, steemland.com, thegame, skylineking88, ercpok, lasper, velimir, kwahzee, tamersameeh, raja, lmick, applecrisp, elevator09

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@wilkinshui · Jun 7 '17

Thanks for the article, I always think about how fortunate I am. Especially when I feel depressed! great stuff!

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@ericwoelk · Jun 7 '17

$0.07

Who I want to be is a follower of yours! Inspiring article, and being impaired one way may be enhanced in another... in respect to that I have a question: do you think music has an even larger impact on you emotionally?

👍 ericwoelk

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@boosje123 · Jun 7 '17

$0.06

Thank you!
I have never really thought about that before, not with regard to music and my impairment. I used to play keyboard untill it became too hard for me to read the notes. Sometimes I like to learn some songs to play again but I watch how to do it on youtube instead of reading notes.
Music does affect my mood, and my mood affects the music I play but I am not sure whether I am affected by it more because of my impairment.

👍 ericwoelk

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@ericwoelk · Jun 7 '17

$0.06

Beautiful response. Of course we cannot compare, as neither of us really know how the other experiences anything. I play the piano myself, it's a beautiful instrument. I think you'd like the song 'Mariage D'Amour' by Claydermann. Have a look on youtube!

👍 ericwoelk

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@r2cornell · Jun 7 '17

$0.69

Great article.  Had a fried who was visually impaired and every time he had a bit too much to drink he was try and drive.  Not good.  Cannot let anything slow you down and some time one must try risky things, as  long as it does not endanger anyone else. ;o)

👍 r2cornell

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@boosje123 · Jun 7 '17

$0.68

Haha, I totally know what you mean.  My brother has thaught me how to drive. Well, once actually, befoe my 18th birthday. And on my actual birthday I got an driving lesson with an instructor and all. (My dad has connections haha). But I of course agree. Whatever someone does, it should always be done with responsibility.

👍 r2cornell

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@numpypython · Jun 7 '17

$1.31

Very inspirational, @boosje123. There's a line in the Pet Shop Boys song, **Being Boring**, that i love - *"I never dreamt that I would get to be the creature that I always meant to be."*

That's who i want to be. The creature i always meant to be :)

👍 cryptoctopus, redpill

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@boosje123 · Jun 7 '17

That sounds nice :)

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@surreal · Jun 8 '17

Very inspiring :) thanks a lot for such a positive post 😍

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