The Moves by meesterboom

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life · @meesterboom ·
$25.98
The Moves
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--455882155.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZcUtT3ZToWCPAwsQP41E6SZfpfgczvioKCnhBTLJiDP6/IMG-PHOTO-ART--455882155.jpg)

The park was busy with mums and kids running amok everywhere. Winter had relented for a day and the weather had climbed all the way up to 11 degrees Celsius. 

If the temperature got any higher us Scotsmen would have to be fighting the natural urge to get our *[taps aff.](https://steemit.com/life/@meesterboom/the-great-scottish-tradition-of-taps-aff)*

*I love it when it's like this.*

Remarked my mate Daz as we walked beside the pond. 

*The place is absolutely hoaching with fanny.*

He added with a grin as if someone had handed him a boob on a stick. 

![kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTjSZpbrTdwngdB32GEDXMhgPTUP5pYJgbnMcWyei2ZAC/kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353.jpg)

I must explain that sentence of his above. *Fanny,* unlike the American saying actually means *vagina* here in Scotland. And hoaching means *awash with or full of.*

So in effect what he was saying in a slightly ungentlemanly way was...

*I say, this place is abound with lady types of a warm persuasion. I do approve.*

Despite its *ungentlemanality,* the good lady was not present so I responded in kind so as to maintain my *One of the boys* credentials. 

*Aye man, pure hoachin.*

*Totally man, totally.*

Replied Daz, nodding in approval at the ladies of the park. 

![kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105175829802.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRYGhyFJwtCRD1e8KkhaT3wDvL9gZQQtVpcCzrATzkckQ/kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105175829802.jpg)

There were rather a lot of them to be fair. Which was a shame for Daz as his wife was pregnant and he was obviously past the *It's still fun to try* stage and was firmly in, *no monkey monkey for you* territory.

We arrived at the coffee shop. 

It was a young lady serving so I volunteered to get the coffees in so that Daz didn't inadvertently splash her with jizzum whilst asking for a latte.

I left him with the little boom sleeping in his pram.

When I returned Daz had a grin a mile wide as he spoke to a *mummy* type we knew. The reason for his cheeriness being that she was as is known in the trade, a bit of a hottie. 

![kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105180048684.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmY6RSTHtccfmFUGDwWZFz25BAFBPjnCtyiuFDCUR1skED/kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105180048684.jpg)

On my arrival, she looked up from cooing at the little boom.

*Oh my God. He is such a CUTIE!*

*Yeah.*

I shrugged modestly as if the sole reason he was a handsome cute little devil was solely down my strong seed. Which, right enough, is probably true. After all, an oak isn't an oak without a seed? 

![kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105180238236.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSUSWJMdivB3QcAteqRpt3MFQpKGMTBNsa8NAYTNncseC/kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105180238236.jpg)

*I love his hair, look at it! So red, so bright, he really suits it!*

*Yeah, it's cool.*

I remarked with another shrug.

The *Hot Mommy* looked up at my hair quizzically. I am not red-haired.

*Is your wife a red-head?*

![kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105180437322.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmP8Jj1Xtvok4hwkneUJ1ViVqPUZFQ9DTU62YPzf6j2BsU/kgzhz6ehc_20181102182338229_20181104141435417_20181105171410353_20181105180437322.jpg)

*No, not in the slightest.*

I replied.

*Oh!*

*Hot Mommy* looked fascinated. 

*Where do you think he gets it from?*

She said breathlessly as if I was poking a stick at her *underchimp.*

I made a face and looked off to the side thoughtfully before returning my attention to her.

*Maybe the missus fucked a ginger whilst I wasn't looking?*

*Oh. Goodness. Oh my. Um. Yes, ok then.*

*Hot Mommy* made a face as if someone had given her an unwanted *goosey goosey* in the *jammy dodger* before hurriedly making polite goodbyes and toddling off. 

Daz looked off longingly at her bottom as it *squoofed* back and forth into the distance. He sighed wistfully. 

*Well BoomDawg, looks like you've still got the moves when it comes to the ladies.*

I chuckled.

*Yup, I guess I do!*
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vote details (175)
@mcfarhat ·
$0.02
loool, you and Daz are apparently the perfect team :D
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom · 
Lol, it seems it!!
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@cryptoandcoffee ·
$0.02
Why do women ask as they all know our seed is what gives the kids their good looks.
πŸ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom · 
It can only be that!! Definitely!
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@gardenlady ·
$0.02
so funny!  That'll teach her to flirt with the innocence of some handsome gents with a baby!!
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
$0.08
I totally agree, she bit of more than she could chew! Lol
πŸ‘  
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@hyperbole ·
$0.02
Does someone want to explain to this poor woman how genetics work?

>After all, an oak isn't an oak without a seed?

Ah, the deep sounding statement with no actual meaning. ;) - nicely done.

>Hot Mommy made a face as if someone had given her an unwanted goosey goosey in the jammy dodger 

I... have no idea what this means, and I suspect you don't know either. But it sounds kinda dirty. So that works!
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom · 
So deep and yet so apt!!

And that last bit, yes, no idea either but it sounds positively filthy!!
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@kiwideb ·
$0.02
Jeepers, it's still autumn and 11 degrees is a warm day! I knew there was a reason we live in Wellington, not Scotland. We had a few days it went down to 6 or 7 during the day, but that's unusually cold.

My niece has been living in Aberdeen for the last two months, and has had to come back to NZ to sort out a work visa, and I thought she was exaggerating the cold...
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
She sure wasn't exaggerating the cold. It's murder! Today everyone was acting like or was summer lol
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@monchhichi23 ·
$0.04
Some women just can't take it ... shame
πŸ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom · 
Lol, yes indeed!
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@dreemit ·
$0.02
Once upon a long long time ago that statement would have embarrassed me too....but many years of owning a business consisting of mostly guys where part of the work takes place in a shop, haha, I am unflusterable! 

Of course we both know your denial of a red haired missus is bollocks :)
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom · 
Hahaha. But without denial I am nothing!!!

Guys are terrible with their chat. I can say that whilst being just as bad as the rest although usually with a knowing nod to myself that *it's ok, I know I'm being a dick* lol!!
πŸ‘  
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@dreemit ·
$0.02
All the snowflakes who whine about such statements are pushing for a very boring world, haha, down with PC!
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@jlufer ·
$0.02
I think "hot mommy" will not ask this kind of questions to gentlemen with babies in their arms, I think they will have learned a good lesson
Many thanks dear friend @meesterboom for another excellent day of reading
I wish you a prosperous week
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
She might think twice that's for sure!
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@afiqsejuk ·
$0.02
If the good lady is at the scene, it will be one hell of a hurricane. Hahahahaha! Upvoted!
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
Hehe deffo!
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@jacey.boldart · (edited)
$0.02
......with a grin as if someone had handed him a boob on a stick...... ahaahahahahaha.... eh hem
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
It's a smile inducing thing!
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@steemitboard · 
Congratulations @meesterboom! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@meesterboom/votes.png?201811052047</td><td>You made more than 59000 upvotes. Your next target is to reach 60000 upvotes.</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_[Click here to view your Board of Honor](https://steemitboard.com/@meesterboom)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>


To support your work, I also upvoted your post!


**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**
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> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!
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@steem-ua · 
#### Hi @meesterboom!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your **UA** account score is currently 6.307 which ranks you at **#206** across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has dropped 4 places in the last three days (old rank 202).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 288 contributions, your post is ranked at **#8**.
##### Evaluation of your UA score:

* You've built up a nice network.
* The readers appreciate your great work!
* Good user engagement!


**Feel free to join our [@steem-ua Discord server](https://discord.gg/KpBNYGz)**
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@ryivhnn ·
$0.02
Real smooth Boomy XD you did if course say it with a completely straight face? :D

<center>https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2017/11/goatsig-t.png?itok=Ml3FDq7c</center>

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
It might not have been entirely straight. I might have had a wicked grin on my face :0D
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@ocrdu ·
$0.02
I appreciate all tips to get these hordes of flirting women off my back.
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom · 
Anything that makes the daily grind easier! :0)
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@jedau ·
$0.02
Ahaha! I've always wondered why The Mountain looked reddish at the top (and eventually bottom ;) ) I'm glad the mystery of it is able to be put to good use.
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
The mystery is a fine one. Scottish lineage pops up in the most unexpected ways!!
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@jedau ·
$0.02
Sounds like a job for a certain gumshoe?
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@blanchy · 
I’m at that age too. The not trying stage. Too lazy to make conversations with the beautiful people. 

Posted using [Partiko iOS](https://steemit.com/@partiko-ios)
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
You're just a young pup, you should be full of the vim!! :0D
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@blanchy ·
$0.03
Years of battle in the fighting pits had made me vimless! No matter how good looking she is , someone somewhere is putting up with her shit ! 

Posted using [Partiko iOS](https://steemit.com/@partiko-ios)
πŸ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@janton · 
haha! sir meesterboom! Brilliant writing as usual but the artwork at the top is horrendous and hilarious at the same time so great job!
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom · 
Hehe, I worried that it was too small to detect it was me!!
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